Venting.....
WTF?!?!?!
So, my sister and I haven't really been on talking terms for about a week now. Kinda sad, but I've done all that I can do. It's all up to her now. Anywho....I was nice enough to take her back to Longview today....but we didn't really say a word to each other the whole way down. But...I sent her a text message telling her to bring my pot and pan that I let her borrow down to my car before we left Tyler. So....the pots ride in the back seat to and from Longview. I get my pans out, go to the apartment, and look at them. And what do I see?....
Yeah...a mess. My pot is a mess. Teflon and all is pulled right up practically. The pot is much worse than the pan. And she acutally didn't even own up to the damage that was done to the pan. She claims that I gave them to her in that condition. WTF? Why would I do that? Doesnt make any sense. But she swears up and down that she only used my pot and pan twice. YET, she kept them both for 4 weeks, and didn't return them until today. Yeah...sure....I gave them to her in that condition. You may say, "It's only a pot." It's not just a pot....It's a pot that I paid for(nonstick cookingware isn't cheap)...it's returned to me as a DIFFERENT pot. I can't cook with that!!! And she's not even willing to even reimburse me or buy a new pot. Guess I gotta go to the store today, and restock my cooking utensils.
HE LOVES ME?
Well....Courtney called me today. Surprising that he called at like 9 something this MORNING. I'm usually getting late night calls from him. Apparently, he's pledging to a fraternity. Supposedly, the rules are that he can't talk to girls, yet he calls me like 2 or 3 times a week, asking me to tell him that I love him. It's all strange because he pledged LAST YEAR. I've never heard of pledging twice. NEVER. So...he called me this morning, and said that he wanted to come and see me tonight. WOW! I almost didn't know how to respond to that. I mean...first, he tells me that we can't have a regular convo for a month and half b/c he "couldn't talk to girls" (Which would have been until the middle of this month). I talked to him about 5 nights ago, and he tells me that it'll be the first week of March before he and I could talk regularly and see each other. All of this because of pledging? Bah! And I mean...I don't know if he's been lying to me or what. I mean....I'm not "supposed" to see him until March....but he plans to come over tonight. I guess I'll just wait and see what happens.
FEELING...INSECURE.
So..."Big Daddy" and I had a convo last night about me trying to lose weight. I was mad for the entire night. I'm telling him my progress and how I lost 3 pounds this week, and all he says is,
Bigdaddy [1:23 AM]yeah, i'm happy you're happy, just don't go too fast and fall out
Me[1:23 AM] gah!! everyone says that. "don't starve yourself" "don't lose too much too fast". I feel like some people (not you) just want me to be fat. It only makes me wanna work out more and harder
Bigdaddy[1:24 AM]: uh you're not fat
Me[1:24 AM]: I'm not skinny.
Bigdaddy[1:27 AM] like i understand that you want to do some stuff with yourself, and like i do want you to meet your goal, just don't go overboard with it
So I asked him what he meant by "overboard". His response:
Bigdaddy[1:32 AM]: becoming engulfed with losing weight to a point that-a. it interferes with stuff thats important to you, although you do have to sacrifice time to work out, and-b. when everything is not enough, like if you reach your goal but its not good enough, like if you're working at a steady good rate but its not good enough
Me[1:38 AM]: I dunno, I just don't get it. I mean.....you're one added to the many people that kinda look at the downside of me trying to lose weight. I mean...people don't say anything when someone is trying to get in shape, or stay fit, or build muscle. I just don't know how to handle it when people kinda "bash" my goal of losing weight. It's either lose weight, or die gaining it. I was close to having a stroke months back
Me[1:39 AM]: Granted, it was because of the BC pills, but my weight was also a factor
Me[1:39 AM]: And lower weight equals lower blood pressure.
Me[1:39 AM]: even exercising in general
Bigdaddy[1:41 AM]: heh now don't get it twisted, i want you to meet your goal, and i guess i should know better than most how much hard work goes into losing weight and the benefits of it. I even have chest problems that go away with weight training, so i feel you. so, i am not against you doing that, i'm so for you
HAH.....Now he's for me.
I'm a complete health nut. I know what I'm doing. When did it become such a bad thing to lose wieght? And when did "STUPID" get tattooed on my head?? Again...the whole, "Don't starve yourself" or "Don't work out too hard" or "Don't loose too much to fast" thing gets on my nerves. Makes me think that you think that I don't have a clue as to what I'm doing. I mean..I know that I'm not FAT, but I know that I could be skinnier, and healthier. Would it be any different if I said that I was trying to get in shape instead of losing weight? Who cares. I don't care what anyone thinks anymore.