(no subject)
Work is going by very slow today. I believe its due in part by my constant thinking. A million and one thoughts race through my head. I think of them all, when I look at the time, not even 5 minutes has passed. I'm anxious still. Anxious as to what her answer will be. Worried that maybe I fucked it all up. I don't know how or when I started caring for her...enough for it to hurt me. I wasn't expecting it to happen. I didn't think it would. I was afraid I was going to get into another relationship where I didn't really feel for the person, for the sake of not being alone. I also had feelings for someone else. So when all of this happend....and it hurt, I was surprised.
Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry. It JUST came on the radio. This song reminds me of her. My chest tightens when I hear it. I miss her. I DO care for her. A lot. I'm scared. Scared to feel this, but even more scared to lose the feeling.
I hope this works. I want it to work. She said that she didn't want to rush into this and find out that she screwed up again. I'm not a screw up. Well I am in certain aspects, but not when it comes to someone's feelings...or my own.