Move
Yesterday was brutal. Greg got me from the station, we went to Canadian Tire, then to the LCBO, then to the apartment in Oshawa, loaded the truck while I cried and had fits of anxiety. He said to me that he is more worried about me now asking whether I feel any relief that the pain is finally going to be over; we've been living in a prison, he says, where we are just friends fighting something that hasn't been there in a long time. That he will always be a part of my life and love me; that he won't close doors but that we need this. His friend Mike came over for a bit, had some wine with us, and then Greg drove me and the cat and my remaining personal items to Toronto. I was relieved when Will showed up right as Greg left because I wasn't ready to be alone. I crashed at 10:30 after a shower dreaming of Greg...that somehow he had gotten in to the apartment and stayed the night with me. I woke up at midnight freezing cold, realizing it was a dream. I got out my massive king sleeping bag and decided I'd rather sweat in and out then freeze with Kittin and so she curled up and stayed with me purring the entire night which was fitful at best. Bell comes to hook up my tv tonight and I have a lot of unpacking to do. I will see Greg on the 17th after my dinner with coworkers, then heading to Oshawa on the 19th for Fiesta week. I'll be back the following weekend for Fiesta week too.
Work is exactly as it always is. I get in crap; I don't trust them and they look at me funny. I have a recruiter interview to change fields entirely on Monday. Helena was on the phone to me last night and said if she wasn't getting married? she'd be out of insurance defence too. It's the same with everyone - this field has changed so much that no one wants to do it anymore. It used to be fun, you know? now it's just crap. Me, Helena, Kelly, Lynn, we all enjoyed it years ago and now it just feels miserable for all of us.
My stomach keeps cramping up. It's really irritating. Tonight...night two. Hopefully I'll have tv up and running to take my mind off it.
Work is exactly as it always is. I get in crap; I don't trust them and they look at me funny. I have a recruiter interview to change fields entirely on Monday. Helena was on the phone to me last night and said if she wasn't getting married? she'd be out of insurance defence too. It's the same with everyone - this field has changed so much that no one wants to do it anymore. It used to be fun, you know? now it's just crap. Me, Helena, Kelly, Lynn, we all enjoyed it years ago and now it just feels miserable for all of us.
My stomach keeps cramping up. It's really irritating. Tonight...night two. Hopefully I'll have tv up and running to take my mind off it.