You hit the road and left me an ocean. I can't swim in the silence of your skin.
The show the other night was good, I enjoyed it, although I didn't exactly look like I did. Motion City Soundtrack was amazing as always, and Story of The Year was as good as they could potentially be, but considering I don't love them I wasn't wet over the performance. The Metallica cover was ill tho, so props for that. The drive home at 1 o'clock in the morning was perfect- On a Wire & Something to Write Home About- Aww man, I love the Get up Kids.
Nick comes home from Florida tomorrow. <33
Work is a massive issue for me. I just started and I know it's totally not going to work out. The only reason I even said I'd do it is because everyone else wants me to have this summer job or whatever working at the coffee shop. But like seriously, I don't want to work every weekend morning until school gets out, and all the time during the summer. I want to 'disapear again into a summer's bliss of staying out and sleeping in and getting drunk with my friends'. I don't want to work at a suck ass job in a town that I hate. The dilemma is that now I have dug myself a grave by taking the job. I just got so consumed in everyone else's excitement for me and lost all regard for my personal wants and needs. [Which are as follows; I want to spend time with my boyfriend. I want to spend time with my friends. I want to get out of this town during the weekend. I want to stay out late and not have to get up and go to work. I do not want to get up early on weekends. I need to keep myself focused on being happy. I do not need money. I do not need the responsability of work. I do not need the stress. And I DO NOT WANT OR NEED A JOB.] I'm just not sure what I should do. Everyone's going to think I'm lazy and that's why I don't want to work, but seriously, working beats the hell out of school.
Which leads me to my next issue, which is [as always] school. I need to get put on an IEP and get my shit together because I can't function like this. I have the worst time even going to school, and when I get here I'm like so weighed down by the work load, and so stressed out from the anxiety. Everything is just escalating and it's really making me sad.
//. I can't live like this .//
You're not even there to comfort me or support me. Do you even care about me anymore? Did you ever? It's just like all you're there for is to remind me of how worthless I am. So fuck you.
Nick comes home from Florida tomorrow. <33
Work is a massive issue for me. I just started and I know it's totally not going to work out. The only reason I even said I'd do it is because everyone else wants me to have this summer job or whatever working at the coffee shop. But like seriously, I don't want to work every weekend morning until school gets out, and all the time during the summer. I want to 'disapear again into a summer's bliss of staying out and sleeping in and getting drunk with my friends'. I don't want to work at a suck ass job in a town that I hate. The dilemma is that now I have dug myself a grave by taking the job. I just got so consumed in everyone else's excitement for me and lost all regard for my personal wants and needs. [Which are as follows; I want to spend time with my boyfriend. I want to spend time with my friends. I want to get out of this town during the weekend. I want to stay out late and not have to get up and go to work. I do not want to get up early on weekends. I need to keep myself focused on being happy. I do not need money. I do not need the responsability of work. I do not need the stress. And I DO NOT WANT OR NEED A JOB.] I'm just not sure what I should do. Everyone's going to think I'm lazy and that's why I don't want to work, but seriously, working beats the hell out of school.
Which leads me to my next issue, which is [as always] school. I need to get put on an IEP and get my shit together because I can't function like this. I have the worst time even going to school, and when I get here I'm like so weighed down by the work load, and so stressed out from the anxiety. Everything is just escalating and it's really making me sad.
//. I can't live like this .//
You're not even there to comfort me or support me. Do you even care about me anymore? Did you ever? It's just like all you're there for is to remind me of how worthless I am. So fuck you.