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once again im in the mood to update...
After all of that stuff i wrote yesterday about loving being single im suddenly not so happy about it. maybe its the fact that im listening to slow/sad music. maybe its because valentines day is monday, and i know that it wont matter for me. i do love being single, i can do whatever i want. i dont have to ask permission to go out with my friends, and i dont have to worry about getting hurt. i hear my friends argue with their boyfriends, so why would i ever want that? for some reason i kinda do though...Our school always does this thing for V-day, you can send roses or candy or balloons or whatever to someone special. the only way i'll get anything will be from my friends, which is cool, i love y'all to death. i just kinda wish i had someone to truely care for me, that loves me even though im not perfect, and that will do all those little pointless stupid things that would mean the world to me. i really want someone to love me, but when i think about it, its would be so hard to say yes to someone if they were to ask me out. i love my singleism. maybe im just scared of getting hurt...i usually do....ive only had like 2 good relationships, but then i screwed them up...this sucks. i dont want a boyfriend but i dont want to be alone. as many times as i can type it, i cant stress it enough. i want someone to say sweet things to me. i want someone that....god, i dont know. i cant explain it, i just....dont know. i have lots of friends that i hug in the school hallways, but its not the same kind of hug. maybe the reason im thinking so much about this is because alot of my friends have been telling me what they're doing for their boyfriends/girlfriends. its all so romantic and sweet and almost tear-jerking. theres so much i want to type, but most of it would probly be repetitive, because i keep going through everything in my head. i dont know how i feel.
After all of that stuff i wrote yesterday about loving being single im suddenly not so happy about it. maybe its the fact that im listening to slow/sad music. maybe its because valentines day is monday, and i know that it wont matter for me. i do love being single, i can do whatever i want. i dont have to ask permission to go out with my friends, and i dont have to worry about getting hurt. i hear my friends argue with their boyfriends, so why would i ever want that? for some reason i kinda do though...Our school always does this thing for V-day, you can send roses or candy or balloons or whatever to someone special. the only way i'll get anything will be from my friends, which is cool, i love y'all to death. i just kinda wish i had someone to truely care for me, that loves me even though im not perfect, and that will do all those little pointless stupid things that would mean the world to me. i really want someone to love me, but when i think about it, its would be so hard to say yes to someone if they were to ask me out. i love my singleism. maybe im just scared of getting hurt...i usually do....ive only had like 2 good relationships, but then i screwed them up...this sucks. i dont want a boyfriend but i dont want to be alone. as many times as i can type it, i cant stress it enough. i want someone to say sweet things to me. i want someone that....god, i dont know. i cant explain it, i just....dont know. i have lots of friends that i hug in the school hallways, but its not the same kind of hug. maybe the reason im thinking so much about this is because alot of my friends have been telling me what they're doing for their boyfriends/girlfriends. its all so romantic and sweet and almost tear-jerking. theres so much i want to type, but most of it would probly be repetitive, because i keep going through everything in my head. i dont know how i feel.