Soooooo
I didnt get the job at Macys. I was fully qualified, minus my school schedule and having to travel back and forth. Which is fucking bullshit. This is the second fucking job I have lost because I chose to go to grad school.
Sometimes I wonder if the choice I made was the right one...but I know that if I am over qualified for a job like that, then I should be okay for when I get out of school.
I am just trying to think of this idea of mine...and if I will be too old to full fill it. I have fears that no one really cares to know about, because they never had to deal with a sick family member...My mom got cancer when she was 31 years old. I am so scared of ending up like her. I dont know what I would do if I did end up in her situation....
I know that seems horrible to say, but what can you do.
I also notice I dont keep friends very easily. I mean I dont try to suck up to anyone at school. It just isnt me. I am not like the others...
I dont like partying anymore...I just feel like I am focused on the future and what needs to be done to meet my goals. Which is healthy to a certain extent. I just feel like maybe sometimes, I am not moving in the right direction....or maybe I am and I am a little down.
I just wonder why sometimes....maybe too much. I would love to have besties to hang out with, but if I know there is going to be a clash or any twinge of you get on my fucking nerves, I push away, to savor whats there. I dont know how fun this summer is going to be.
I turn 25 in July...I will be 27 when I get my MFA. I need to pay off my debt and save up money for the businesses I want to own. God only knows when I will actually get that up and running...Maybe I am too ambitious? Who knows. I dont.
I am just really lost right now....with no one to talk to, and I dont want to burden anyone with this shit. At least I know, if you all dont want to worry yourselves about this, you stop reading, and thats a great option to have.
Anyways, I guess I will shut up now.
Sometimes I wonder if the choice I made was the right one...but I know that if I am over qualified for a job like that, then I should be okay for when I get out of school.
I am just trying to think of this idea of mine...and if I will be too old to full fill it. I have fears that no one really cares to know about, because they never had to deal with a sick family member...My mom got cancer when she was 31 years old. I am so scared of ending up like her. I dont know what I would do if I did end up in her situation....
I know that seems horrible to say, but what can you do.
I also notice I dont keep friends very easily. I mean I dont try to suck up to anyone at school. It just isnt me. I am not like the others...
I dont like partying anymore...I just feel like I am focused on the future and what needs to be done to meet my goals. Which is healthy to a certain extent. I just feel like maybe sometimes, I am not moving in the right direction....or maybe I am and I am a little down.
I just wonder why sometimes....maybe too much. I would love to have besties to hang out with, but if I know there is going to be a clash or any twinge of you get on my fucking nerves, I push away, to savor whats there. I dont know how fun this summer is going to be.
I turn 25 in July...I will be 27 when I get my MFA. I need to pay off my debt and save up money for the businesses I want to own. God only knows when I will actually get that up and running...Maybe I am too ambitious? Who knows. I dont.
I am just really lost right now....with no one to talk to, and I dont want to burden anyone with this shit. At least I know, if you all dont want to worry yourselves about this, you stop reading, and thats a great option to have.
Anyways, I guess I will shut up now.