[Fanfiction - The GazettE] Whispers of Children [5/?]
Title: Whispers of Children
Author: sorrowofanangel
Chapter: 5 of ?
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, 1st Person Narrative
Band: The GazettE
Pairing(s): Aoi x Reita/ Reita x Aoi (main) Uruha x Kai/ Uruha x Kai. Reita x Kai (one-sided)
WARNINGS: Strong language, depression, schizophrenia
Rating: R
DISCLAIMER: Yes, I own them and make Kai bake me muffins all day long... >D Sadly no, since I'm writing this, they obviously own me D:
Synopsis: "I moved away to escape my past. Foolishly I believed a new start would help me forget. Help me move on. What I hadn't realised... was that it will follow you wherever you go. No one can know about my past. No one. And that includes Yuu..."
Chapter Summary: Akira tries to uncover the truth from Yuu when a phone call from Kai has dramatic implications...
Notes: I realised with horror that I hadn't updated this since last year! *dies* So, now that summer's here, so is my inspiration (luckily!) so we're back on track! I hope you can all remember this series, and that you'll still enjoy it as much as I'm enjoying writing it for you all ^^
The previous chapters can be found in my Fanfic archive (HERE)
*
The next time I saw Yuu, it wasn’t behind the iron bars of school gates or the small, awkward space of my car.
It was in fact through the chilling mist of a foggy autumn afternoon the following week; me standing surprised at my front door with Yuu cowering timidly on my doorstep; mirroring his impression the first time we met.
Despite my fatigue over my sleepless night, I let my tired eyes wander over his complexion; perhaps searching for something new. Of what, exactly, I wasn’t sure.
Nothing had changed except for the bruise on his face, which was now a sickly shade of yellow. Other than that, Yuu dressed himself the same as always; from his assortment of dark blue jeans and a jumper tightly fitting his skinny little form. Only today he was wrapped tightly in a knitted grey scarf, holding his school bag with shivering hands in front of his knees.
His head was down to the floor as usual, and as he stood there trembling I stared at the brunette strands of his hair, damp and frail with the afternoon chill…
“I… didn’t know where else to go.” Yuu mumbles at last, his head tilting an inch my way, until I could almost see his eyes.
I’m touched for a moment. Today he seemed so fragile. More than the past times I’ve spoken with him… watched him. Like he was disintegrating before my eyes. But right now, he looked just as shy and scared as a tiny child, and I figured it was for that reason alone that I stepped forward swiftly and placed a warm hand on his shoulder.
I expected him to startle, only he didn’t, instead taking one of his trembling hands and reaching down deep inside his leather bag, producing a thick paperback book; some of the pages withered and ripped on the inside,
“I need help with this.” Yuu tells me, holding the book out to me so I could read the title,
“English language and Culture?” I blink, meeting his eyes at last; dark and hollow as he nods,
“My homework.”
*
I was back to our last routine; busying about making coffee while Yuu stood still as stone against the doorway to my kitchen.
Only this time I kept my eyes firmly on our mugs.
I watched the cream filter inside the cup as I poured it in, somehow a little disheartened that Yuu had only dropped by for a little homework help. When I’d first opened that door to him; his expression the perfect match to today’s weather, I had hoped that he’d thought my words through and returned to...
Apologise?
Foolish really. To think he would open up to me so soon… I mean, he’s just a kid. And whatever’s going on; be it with the note or not, I know it’s eating him up inside.
But he’s so damn defensive. The only thing left for me to do now is to let him open up on his own. If he ever will…
“Alright…” I breathe through my nose calmly, careful not to show my annoyance and I notice Yuu flinch as I let the teaspoon I’d been holding clatter on the counter with sharpening effect, “Show me what you need help with.”
Yuu comes to sit on the same stool as last time; both of us once again separated by the island of my kitchen counter.
His textbook was already set on the surface and I arranged our coffee cups around it. No pot of sugar this time; I’d learned from before that he only took one with his coffee and so had already taken the liberty,
“You’re not mad are you?” Yuu whispers into this uncomfortable air now surrounding our shoulders.
I shrug back at him, pulling up a barstool as I sit across from him, “Why would I be?”
“It’s just that I…” Yuu runs a tongue over his bottom lip cautiously, one of his pale hands lifting to tug timidly on the scarf still wrapped tight around his neck, “I-I was a little rude last time I was here…”
I remember the middle finger he had poised mid-air to me as he stalked away from my house and suddenly sigh,
“Yeah, well. By now I should be used to your attitude.”
He stares at me while I sip my coffee nonchalantly, reaching for his textbook before we get into another argument like we did outside the school,
“So are you going to show me this or not?” I ask, flipping through the pages but honestly having no clue what I’m looking for,
“It’s page 63.” Yuu mumbles, somewhat forcibly, as though he was struggling to keep a calm composure. But then again, he couldn’t exactly provide anything to support his argument; he had treated me pretty roughly these past few weeks. And I, for some stupid reason, put up with it as usual.
I turn to the page he instructs and it rests on the subject of English verbs; a few of the answer boxes scribbled in by Yuu already, before, I assumed, he’d gotten stuck and failed to complete the rest,
“So this is what you’re having trouble with?” I sip my coffee again, letting it burn my tongue and I hiss noticeably,
“Yeah.” Yuu replies, his thumbs turning over themselves as he fiddles with them atop the counter, “Do you know much English? I mean, you write books so I just assumed…”
I nod as he trails off, flickering a glance at him for the first time in a while; at his tired, watering eyes and sorrowful gaze returning my own. Unnecessarily, I imagine how lovely it would be for me to see him smile,
“Of course.” I smile weakly, “I even translate my own books into the English language to be sold overseas.”
“Really?” he murmurs, a little laced with surprise, “That’s… really cool.”
I feel my head slanting to the side,
“How else do you think I can afford that Mustang?” I jerk a thumb over my shoulder and Yuu dips his head and almost laughs. It isn’t quite a laugh though; somewhere between that and a sigh. Still, no hint of a smile passes over his face,
“Okay…” I breathe, pulling open a drawer to my right, stacked with important letters I should have read months ago and I take out a pen,
“Let’s get started then hm?”
*
As I expected, it didn’t take me too long to have Yuu master the art of the English verb use and pairing it with subjective pronouns.
In fact, we were done within the hour and I suggested we have another coffee and a bite to eat to celebrate.
Yuu was, as ever, unsurprisingly timid throughout most of the afternoon; though he was a good student. I adored the way he bit his lip when he was concentrating on something I was explaining, or stuck out his tongue when scribbling away words in Latin typeset; concentrating intently. He was a very bright kid; and I felt a little guilty that upon my first impression of him, I’d taken him for a drug dealer lookalike,
“So do you enjoy studying English?” I call over my shoulder as I tilt the kettle towards our cups for a second time, hearing Yuu closing his books behind me and shuffling in his chair,
“It’s okay I guess…” he speaks shyly and I let a smile stretch my cheeks, “I mean, I’ve always wanted to learn it because I like to write songs so -“
He stops so sharply that I turn to face him; to find his lips pursed and his hands clenched into fists on his lap.
I regard him sadly; he really doesn’t like talking about himself. Not about the note, not about the bruise on his face… not about any part of his life at all,
“It’s okay, Yuu.” I say gently, “You don’t have to be shy.”
“Maybe…” Yuu breathes exasperatedly, staring at his hands with exaggerated interest.
That awkward silence that had been lingering in the background over our shoulders finally breaks into the atmosphere and I struggle with another word to say. I knew for certain that Yuu wasn’t the type to break silence. Instead I concentrate on adding sugar to our cups and stirring excessively. I wondered what to do once I stopped…
I bring our drinks over towards him, where I find his gaze diverted from his fingernails and fixated on something on the far wall; though there was only a white stone fireplace and a couple of paintings there to stare at; and in all honesty they weren’t that much of an interest,
“You kept it…” Yuu mumbles, almost inaudible and I strain to hear as he suddenly stands and rushes over to the fireplace like it’s a burning building,
“Yuu?” I place our coffees down carefully, eyeing him when he wafts the piece of paper he’d snatched towards me,
“You kept this?!”
His voice breaks and I realise I’d probably placed his note there absentmindedly one night and not thought about it.
But for him to get so worked up about it…
“Yuu…” I begin gently, holding out my hands as he glares at me coldly, “I just put it there randomly, I’ve barely thought about it!”
Lie number one,
“Yeah right!” Yuu scoffs, gazing at his own handwriting shaking in his fingers, “I bet you we-were gonna call the police again weren’t you?!”
“No, I swear I didn’t even think about calling the police!!” I feel like wringing his neck, and I feel my face grow hot as I shout at him,
“What is it with you Yuu huh?!” The words are out before I can stop them, and Yuu quickly scrunches the note he’d written tight in his trembly palm, “You’re terrified of the police, I know you’re in some kind of trouble because of that fucking note! Plus the fact you wrote to a stranger to help you!”
Yuu’s gaze drops to the floor, and I catch a few tears running down his cheeks, which makes me stop and rethink my tone of voice and the way I was projecting it. Yuu seemed already too used to volatile circumstances, and I knew better than to lose my temper and fall weak to the frustration my emotions were kicking my knees towards,
“Okay… I’m sorry I shouted.” I murmur gently, as Yuu stands still as stone in the centre of my living room; our coffee cups steaming inches away from us, “I didn’t mean to scare you or…” Another tear falls to the carpet beneath our feet, “… Make you feel terrible.” I finish dryly, “But Yuu, can’t you understand that I just want the truth from you?”
I watch miserably as Yuu’s shoulders heave and he struggles to control it,
“Yuu, come on…” I extend a hand in his direction, so desperately wanting him to take it, “Just tell me what it is. Tell me what’s wrong… come on.”
Yuu barely has time to open his lips as I’m cut off by the far off blare of a phone ringing, and I sigh as I debate briefly whether to answer it or not,
“Just wait here.” I unintentionally growl in Yuu’s direction, catching the way his eyes water as I stomp frustratedly into my hallway, snatching the receiver off its hook with a fiery hand.
I was so close…
“Yes?” I hiss impatiently, only for that to dissipate immediately the minute I heard Kai’s voice greet mine like a solemn ballad,
“Is this a bad time?”
I sigh, “Oh, Kai… I’m sorry. I really am...” I feel my stomach drop; the emotions from mine and Yuu’s argument tripping over themselves inside me and I knew I was going to have trouble controlling them, “How are you?”
His voice sounds hollow when he starts to speak… strange. I didn’t like it, and an unknown unsettlement rested deep in my stomach; immediately sending my anger away,
“Not good, Aki. It’s… It’s not good.” Kai’s tune was barely that of a whisper,
“What do you mean?” I talk back to him as softly as I could, “Kai, has something happened, are you okay?”
There was a really long pause, and I hear Yuu’s foreign footsteps come closer behind my shoulder, feeling him peer at me in simple curiosity. Though I knew there was no time to finish arguing with him,
“Kai…” I encourage slowly, hearing a long intake of breath on the other end of the line and the distant chatter of nobody’s behind him,
“Aki, it’s… it’s U-Uruha...” Kai struggles to say at last, and the very battle of which he is trying to face with himself renders my heart completely,
“… He’s been in a car accident.”
*
A/N: A bit of a slow chapter, just to ease me back into it again ~ apologies for that guys ^^" But I'm hoping the next will be a lot more exciting now that I know for certain where it's heading! (^o^*)
Sooo on another note!!!! LE DRAMAAAAA! *shot* What do you think guys? Will Uruha be dead? Alive? WIll Akira take advantage of Kai at this moment?? (O////O) All shall be revealed soon!! *skips off* Your comments are much appreciated lovelies!! *gives basket of luffles*
Author: sorrowofanangel
Chapter: 5 of ?
Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama, 1st Person Narrative
Band: The GazettE
Pairing(s): Aoi x Reita/ Reita x Aoi (main) Uruha x Kai/ Uruha x Kai. Reita x Kai (one-sided)
WARNINGS: Strong language, depression, schizophrenia
Rating: R
DISCLAIMER: Yes, I own them and make Kai bake me muffins all day long... >D Sadly no, since I'm writing this, they obviously own me D:
Synopsis: "I moved away to escape my past. Foolishly I believed a new start would help me forget. Help me move on. What I hadn't realised... was that it will follow you wherever you go. No one can know about my past. No one. And that includes Yuu..."
Chapter Summary: Akira tries to uncover the truth from Yuu when a phone call from Kai has dramatic implications...
Notes: I realised with horror that I hadn't updated this since last year! *dies* So, now that summer's here, so is my inspiration (luckily!) so we're back on track! I hope you can all remember this series, and that you'll still enjoy it as much as I'm enjoying writing it for you all ^^
The previous chapters can be found in my Fanfic archive (HERE)
*
The next time I saw Yuu, it wasn’t behind the iron bars of school gates or the small, awkward space of my car.
It was in fact through the chilling mist of a foggy autumn afternoon the following week; me standing surprised at my front door with Yuu cowering timidly on my doorstep; mirroring his impression the first time we met.
Despite my fatigue over my sleepless night, I let my tired eyes wander over his complexion; perhaps searching for something new. Of what, exactly, I wasn’t sure.
Nothing had changed except for the bruise on his face, which was now a sickly shade of yellow. Other than that, Yuu dressed himself the same as always; from his assortment of dark blue jeans and a jumper tightly fitting his skinny little form. Only today he was wrapped tightly in a knitted grey scarf, holding his school bag with shivering hands in front of his knees.
His head was down to the floor as usual, and as he stood there trembling I stared at the brunette strands of his hair, damp and frail with the afternoon chill…
“I… didn’t know where else to go.” Yuu mumbles at last, his head tilting an inch my way, until I could almost see his eyes.
I’m touched for a moment. Today he seemed so fragile. More than the past times I’ve spoken with him… watched him. Like he was disintegrating before my eyes. But right now, he looked just as shy and scared as a tiny child, and I figured it was for that reason alone that I stepped forward swiftly and placed a warm hand on his shoulder.
I expected him to startle, only he didn’t, instead taking one of his trembling hands and reaching down deep inside his leather bag, producing a thick paperback book; some of the pages withered and ripped on the inside,
“I need help with this.” Yuu tells me, holding the book out to me so I could read the title,
“English language and Culture?” I blink, meeting his eyes at last; dark and hollow as he nods,
“My homework.”
*
I was back to our last routine; busying about making coffee while Yuu stood still as stone against the doorway to my kitchen.
Only this time I kept my eyes firmly on our mugs.
I watched the cream filter inside the cup as I poured it in, somehow a little disheartened that Yuu had only dropped by for a little homework help. When I’d first opened that door to him; his expression the perfect match to today’s weather, I had hoped that he’d thought my words through and returned to...
Apologise?
Foolish really. To think he would open up to me so soon… I mean, he’s just a kid. And whatever’s going on; be it with the note or not, I know it’s eating him up inside.
But he’s so damn defensive. The only thing left for me to do now is to let him open up on his own. If he ever will…
“Alright…” I breathe through my nose calmly, careful not to show my annoyance and I notice Yuu flinch as I let the teaspoon I’d been holding clatter on the counter with sharpening effect, “Show me what you need help with.”
Yuu comes to sit on the same stool as last time; both of us once again separated by the island of my kitchen counter.
His textbook was already set on the surface and I arranged our coffee cups around it. No pot of sugar this time; I’d learned from before that he only took one with his coffee and so had already taken the liberty,
“You’re not mad are you?” Yuu whispers into this uncomfortable air now surrounding our shoulders.
I shrug back at him, pulling up a barstool as I sit across from him, “Why would I be?”
“It’s just that I…” Yuu runs a tongue over his bottom lip cautiously, one of his pale hands lifting to tug timidly on the scarf still wrapped tight around his neck, “I-I was a little rude last time I was here…”
I remember the middle finger he had poised mid-air to me as he stalked away from my house and suddenly sigh,
“Yeah, well. By now I should be used to your attitude.”
He stares at me while I sip my coffee nonchalantly, reaching for his textbook before we get into another argument like we did outside the school,
“So are you going to show me this or not?” I ask, flipping through the pages but honestly having no clue what I’m looking for,
“It’s page 63.” Yuu mumbles, somewhat forcibly, as though he was struggling to keep a calm composure. But then again, he couldn’t exactly provide anything to support his argument; he had treated me pretty roughly these past few weeks. And I, for some stupid reason, put up with it as usual.
I turn to the page he instructs and it rests on the subject of English verbs; a few of the answer boxes scribbled in by Yuu already, before, I assumed, he’d gotten stuck and failed to complete the rest,
“So this is what you’re having trouble with?” I sip my coffee again, letting it burn my tongue and I hiss noticeably,
“Yeah.” Yuu replies, his thumbs turning over themselves as he fiddles with them atop the counter, “Do you know much English? I mean, you write books so I just assumed…”
I nod as he trails off, flickering a glance at him for the first time in a while; at his tired, watering eyes and sorrowful gaze returning my own. Unnecessarily, I imagine how lovely it would be for me to see him smile,
“Of course.” I smile weakly, “I even translate my own books into the English language to be sold overseas.”
“Really?” he murmurs, a little laced with surprise, “That’s… really cool.”
I feel my head slanting to the side,
“How else do you think I can afford that Mustang?” I jerk a thumb over my shoulder and Yuu dips his head and almost laughs. It isn’t quite a laugh though; somewhere between that and a sigh. Still, no hint of a smile passes over his face,
“Okay…” I breathe, pulling open a drawer to my right, stacked with important letters I should have read months ago and I take out a pen,
“Let’s get started then hm?”
*
As I expected, it didn’t take me too long to have Yuu master the art of the English verb use and pairing it with subjective pronouns.
In fact, we were done within the hour and I suggested we have another coffee and a bite to eat to celebrate.
Yuu was, as ever, unsurprisingly timid throughout most of the afternoon; though he was a good student. I adored the way he bit his lip when he was concentrating on something I was explaining, or stuck out his tongue when scribbling away words in Latin typeset; concentrating intently. He was a very bright kid; and I felt a little guilty that upon my first impression of him, I’d taken him for a drug dealer lookalike,
“So do you enjoy studying English?” I call over my shoulder as I tilt the kettle towards our cups for a second time, hearing Yuu closing his books behind me and shuffling in his chair,
“It’s okay I guess…” he speaks shyly and I let a smile stretch my cheeks, “I mean, I’ve always wanted to learn it because I like to write songs so -“
He stops so sharply that I turn to face him; to find his lips pursed and his hands clenched into fists on his lap.
I regard him sadly; he really doesn’t like talking about himself. Not about the note, not about the bruise on his face… not about any part of his life at all,
“It’s okay, Yuu.” I say gently, “You don’t have to be shy.”
“Maybe…” Yuu breathes exasperatedly, staring at his hands with exaggerated interest.
That awkward silence that had been lingering in the background over our shoulders finally breaks into the atmosphere and I struggle with another word to say. I knew for certain that Yuu wasn’t the type to break silence. Instead I concentrate on adding sugar to our cups and stirring excessively. I wondered what to do once I stopped…
I bring our drinks over towards him, where I find his gaze diverted from his fingernails and fixated on something on the far wall; though there was only a white stone fireplace and a couple of paintings there to stare at; and in all honesty they weren’t that much of an interest,
“You kept it…” Yuu mumbles, almost inaudible and I strain to hear as he suddenly stands and rushes over to the fireplace like it’s a burning building,
“Yuu?” I place our coffees down carefully, eyeing him when he wafts the piece of paper he’d snatched towards me,
“You kept this?!”
His voice breaks and I realise I’d probably placed his note there absentmindedly one night and not thought about it.
But for him to get so worked up about it…
“Yuu…” I begin gently, holding out my hands as he glares at me coldly, “I just put it there randomly, I’ve barely thought about it!”
Lie number one,
“Yeah right!” Yuu scoffs, gazing at his own handwriting shaking in his fingers, “I bet you we-were gonna call the police again weren’t you?!”
“No, I swear I didn’t even think about calling the police!!” I feel like wringing his neck, and I feel my face grow hot as I shout at him,
“What is it with you Yuu huh?!” The words are out before I can stop them, and Yuu quickly scrunches the note he’d written tight in his trembly palm, “You’re terrified of the police, I know you’re in some kind of trouble because of that fucking note! Plus the fact you wrote to a stranger to help you!”
Yuu’s gaze drops to the floor, and I catch a few tears running down his cheeks, which makes me stop and rethink my tone of voice and the way I was projecting it. Yuu seemed already too used to volatile circumstances, and I knew better than to lose my temper and fall weak to the frustration my emotions were kicking my knees towards,
“Okay… I’m sorry I shouted.” I murmur gently, as Yuu stands still as stone in the centre of my living room; our coffee cups steaming inches away from us, “I didn’t mean to scare you or…” Another tear falls to the carpet beneath our feet, “… Make you feel terrible.” I finish dryly, “But Yuu, can’t you understand that I just want the truth from you?”
I watch miserably as Yuu’s shoulders heave and he struggles to control it,
“Yuu, come on…” I extend a hand in his direction, so desperately wanting him to take it, “Just tell me what it is. Tell me what’s wrong… come on.”
Yuu barely has time to open his lips as I’m cut off by the far off blare of a phone ringing, and I sigh as I debate briefly whether to answer it or not,
“Just wait here.” I unintentionally growl in Yuu’s direction, catching the way his eyes water as I stomp frustratedly into my hallway, snatching the receiver off its hook with a fiery hand.
I was so close…
“Yes?” I hiss impatiently, only for that to dissipate immediately the minute I heard Kai’s voice greet mine like a solemn ballad,
“Is this a bad time?”
I sigh, “Oh, Kai… I’m sorry. I really am...” I feel my stomach drop; the emotions from mine and Yuu’s argument tripping over themselves inside me and I knew I was going to have trouble controlling them, “How are you?”
His voice sounds hollow when he starts to speak… strange. I didn’t like it, and an unknown unsettlement rested deep in my stomach; immediately sending my anger away,
“Not good, Aki. It’s… It’s not good.” Kai’s tune was barely that of a whisper,
“What do you mean?” I talk back to him as softly as I could, “Kai, has something happened, are you okay?”
There was a really long pause, and I hear Yuu’s foreign footsteps come closer behind my shoulder, feeling him peer at me in simple curiosity. Though I knew there was no time to finish arguing with him,
“Kai…” I encourage slowly, hearing a long intake of breath on the other end of the line and the distant chatter of nobody’s behind him,
“Aki, it’s… it’s U-Uruha...” Kai struggles to say at last, and the very battle of which he is trying to face with himself renders my heart completely,
“… He’s been in a car accident.”
*
A/N: A bit of a slow chapter, just to ease me back into it again ~ apologies for that guys ^^" But I'm hoping the next will be a lot more exciting now that I know for certain where it's heading! (^o^*)
Sooo on another note!!!! LE DRAMAAAAA! *shot* What do you think guys? Will Uruha be dead? Alive? WIll Akira take advantage of Kai at this moment?? (O////O) All shall be revealed soon!! *skips off* Your comments are much appreciated lovelies!! *gives basket of luffles*