[Fanfiction - The GazettE] The Price Of Fame Aoi/Uruha 8/?
Title: The Price of Fame Part Eight
Author: sorrowofanangel
Genre: Romance, sex, angst, some humour,
Pairing/ Band: The GazettE Aoi x Uruha/ Uruha x Aoi, Ruki x Aoi (one-sided). Brief mention of Reita x Kai/ Kai x Reita
WARNINGS: Boy x boy relationships, strong language
DISCLAIMER: Pffft, no of course I don't own The Gaz- KAI PUT THAT DOWN!! (><)"
Rating: R
Synopsis: "Not everyone gets close to the star they adore. For Aoi, he's closer than he thinks . . ."
Summary: Ruki's plan sets in motion, but Aoi has his mind on other things.
Notes: Sorry for late update. I've been feeling ill this past week. I'm worrying too much hahaa~ Please enjoy and forgive me if some parts aren't as good as others . . .
The rest of the series can be found in my fanfic archive ~ (HERE)
*
“Oh God, what are we going to do . . . what are we going to do?!”
“Aoi, honey calm down,” Uruha murmured softly, holding his shoulders firmly while the brunette shook violently under his grasp, Ruki sighing in the corner of the staff room heavily; patiently nibbling on a kiwi fruit,
“Sweetie, breathe, just breathe,” Uruha urged, his lover’s hands clasped tight over his face the more he panicked.
Only moments before he had almost collapsed, pacing back and forth out there in the lobby before Ruki had found them, leading the two men into the staff room before anyone else had chance to locate them,
“B-But th-they’re going to ask us all sorts of questions a-and what if they find out w-we’re lying?!” Aoi almost sobbed.
Uruha glances to Ruki for help, the blonde merely shrugging and shaking his head; more interested on where next to bite into his kiwi,
“Aoi, look at me, that’s not going to happen,” Uruha promised, his gentle fingers rubbing at Aoi’s shoulders slowly, the brunette hating himself for overreacting, but at the same time unable to help it.
There was no doubt that the media coverage on Akai Kodou was highly recognised. Anything the newspapers wrote, people believed, including the fans and it made Aoi feel sick. Sick at the thought of what could happen if undercover reporters spotted a flaw in their story or caught Aoi with Uruha somewhere.
It was that very fear that had reduced Aoi into the shivering mess he was now; Ruki, on the other hand, so confident in his plan that he had been as cool as a cucumber all afternoon,
“Deep breaths, Aoi,” Uruha told him, the brunette’s breathing becoming laboured with each passing second, “Look at me, honey, breathe like this,”
To Ruki’s amusement Uruha began to puff in and out as a demonstration, Aoi removing his hands from his face to glare at him through watering eyes,
“Uruha, I am NOT in labour!” he cried, Uruha’s face falling and he let his cheeks deflate of air,
“Alright, but you need to calm down,” he mumbled, “You’re getting so worked up over this, Aoi, they only want to ask a few questions, that’s all,”
“Ahh, this is nothing,” Ruki waves a hand, “He’s always been this emotional, ever since college. You know, one time, he cried for hours just because he couldn’t open a bottle of Coca Cola,”
“It was a hot day and I was thirsty!” Aoi cries in defence, Uruha sighing and pulling him closer, pushing his head to rest on the blonde’s shoulder, “And the rest of you wouldn’t help me, you just kept laughing while I suffered!” Aoi moans against Uruha’s collarbone,
“Oh knock it off, Aoi,” Ruki smiles wryly, “The point is, you’re overreacting. Do you remember the facts we agreed on?”
Aoi hesitated, then nodded into Uruha’s coat,
“Alright, so let’s review,” Ruki threw his finished kiwi into the waste bin, licking the remaining juice from his fingers, “Tell me how we got together,”
Uruha patted his back gently for encouragement, and Aoi screwed his eyes up as he thought of the answer,
“Was it . . . I had a crush on you since school and only recently managed to admit my feelings to you on a night out?”
“Bob’s your uncle,” Ruki grinned, “Only we met in college not school,”
Aoi sighed heavily, “Oh . . . This is hopeless!”
“Oi, Shiroyama, grow a pair before I kick your sorry ass!” Ruki scolded angrily, “Now next question. How long have we been going out?”
Aoi winced at his tone, cold and teacher-like, and he clung to Uruha a little tighter,
“I . . . umm -“
“- Aoi!” Ruki blared, banging a fist on the table he was sat on, “Come on, you know this!”
“4-4 months!!” Aoi moaned, feeling Uruha turn his head slightly against his shoulder,
“Jesus, Ruki, what did you do, put him through army camp?” he frowned, “There’s no need to shout at him,”
“Do I bollocks,” Ruki pouted, pointing in Aoi’s direction, “Look at him, it’s working,”
“Not when you’re making him cry like this it’s not,” Uruha glowered, increasing his hold that little bit tighter, “What’s everyone going to think when he goes to the reporters all red faced and puffy eyed huh? That’s gonna give ‘em more questions than you’ve even prepared for!”
Ruki opened his mouth to argue, but soon closed his lips when he found nothing to return with,
“Alright,” he breathed, calmly this time, “Aoi, tell me what our relationship status is. And if you dare say sexual I really will rip your balls off,” he added with a scowl.
Aoi hiccupped against Uruha’s shoulder, eventually deciding to pull away and wipe his eyes, “We don’t know where it’s going and we haven’t planned a future together yet,” he murmured,
“That’s my boy!” Ruki clapped his hands together, Uruha looking concerned as Aoi’s shoulders still shake a little, his eyes red just like Uruha predicted,
“S-Sorry,” Aoi whispered, “I just don’t want anything to go wrong. I hate being in front of cameras and I hate being interviewed so . . . I-I’m just nervous,”
Uruha simply smiles in understanding, holding Aoi’s face to bring him closer and kiss his forehead,
“Nothing’s going to go wrong,” Uruha promised, “Just look at the cameras, smile, and . . . act like you’re in love with Ruki,”
Aoi laughed at the face he pulled, “It’s alright, I’ll just imagine it’s you . . .” he smiled,
“I am still here you know,” Ruki waved a hand in front of them, “Besides, I think I would make an excellent gay lover -”
“- Why’s that?” Uruha cut in, “Because you’re already halfway there with that hairstyle?”
He and Aoi giggled quietly as they were faced with a glare fit to kill,
“You want me to kiss you?!” he threatened, shaking his fist and Aoi wiped his tears away with a smile; now feeling a little more at ease.
They were right, it was just one interview. All he had to do was answer the questions, moreover, let Ruki do all the talking if things got complicated,
“Aoi, you’re going to be fine,” Uruha murmurs into his hair, sneaking a look through the blinds to kiss the strands softly, “It’s just one interview,”
*
Just one interview . . .
Aoi told himself the same thing over and over going down the stairs to main reception; though the more he could hear the snaps and flashes of clicking cameras, the blended voices of hundreds of reporters, the words became increasingly useless.
Just one interview . . .
Aoi swallowed as he followed Ruki and a media representative towards the lobby, feeling a cool sensation of sweat tickle his chest underneath his shirt.
He understood now why Uruha hated the press. Blinded by white flashes and screams and shouts calling his name over and over, it was enough to make Aoi’s stomach do somersaults.
But Ruki beside him was still putting on a cool front; though that did little to help Aoi do the same. He saw the big horde of reporters and TV cameras waiting for them by the reception desk, holding out microphones and tape recorders in a large sea of hands; Aoi partly thought they belonged at a rock concert. The way they were pushing and shoving each other was fit for a riot.
Aoi winced as a camera flashed in his face and he and Ruki were made to stand in front of the expecting media crowd, most of them already blaring out questions before the interview had actually begun.
To Aoi’s discomfort, it seemed Atsushi had joined them as well, putting an arm briefly around Aoi’s shoulder as he came to stand with them.
Aoi wanted to shrug him off; it was all because of his blabbermouth that this was even happening,
“Mr. Atsushi is it true that there is a hidden romance behind the scenes of Akai Kodou?!”
Aoi scans the crowd for a clue to where the reporter was, but he couldn’t see her; most likely blocked by the boom mics and heavy TV equipment. Not to mention the many muscular looking men holding them,
“Currently, two of our cameramen are involved in an intimate relationship,” Atsushi nodded slightly, using his hand to gesture to Aoi and Ruki beside him; Aoi’s cheeks flushing a deeper shade of red,
“Is this likely to affect on-screen relations?” Another reporter blares, a man this time, and once more Aoi can’t see a damn thing past the bright lights and fat camera lenses,
“Not at all,” Atsushi smiles, Aoi flinching when Ruki’s hand snakes down to grip his own, linking their fingers tightly.
It makes his blood boil and when he turns to glare, Ruki only winks in reply,
“In fact, the relationship between the cast and crew couldn’t be stronger,” Atsushi adds, one of the media representatives to Aoi’s right pointing at someone shaking a notepad high in the air,
“Mr. Shiroyama, how do you feel about your gay relationship being revealed among the media?”
Aoi’s heart races; what kind of a question is that?
“I-I don’t have a problem with it,” his voice breaks, and Aoi suddenly reminds himself to swallow, the nervousness making him feel sick within moments, “In fact, I would appreciate it if we had privacy on the matter,”
“But sir!” Another hand waves on his left, further to the back of the crowd, and a small brunette’s head pops up behind a cameraman’s shoulder, “Is this relationship between you and Ruki-san intimate?!”
Ruki’s thumb strokes the back of Aoi’s hand for encouragement as he sets about answering through nervous stutters, trying to remember what he had discussed with the blonde just moments ago in the staff room. Unfortunately his memory failed him, too overwhelmed by the exaggerated attention to think clearly,
“No, we haven’t discussed anything as of yet,” Ruki answers for him after a while, Aoi’s hand beginning to shake against his own.
He couldn’t handle this; the interrogations, the attention, the questions . . . this wasn’t who he was.
He just wanted to get out of here,
“So is it fair to say this relationship is just casual?”
Ruki nods, “Although, who knows? It may turn into something more . . .”
That had every pen in the room scribbling down in excitement, approving whispers and murmurs erupting deep within the group.
Aoi on the other hand, sought the opportunity to shoot a sinister glare Ruki's way, who in turn, either didn’t or couldn’t meet his gaze.
Aoi squeezed his hand until his nails dug into Ruki’s knuckles, the blonde grimacing against the pain, but Aoi didn’t care.
They weren’t supposed to admit to anything intimate. Nor encourage the matter and that was what was making him angry,
“It’s all part of the plan, Aoi, don’t worry!” Ruki hissed, Aoi’s grip so tight against his skin that Aoi could see him struggle not to cry out,
“So, is there hope of a new off screen romance at Christmas?”
Ruki twitched his eyebrows once Aoi slackened his grip, the blonde’s tongue running over his teeth as he glanced cheekily into a TV camera,
“Yeah, I guess you could say that. Right Aoi?”
The brunette grimaced as Ruki nudged him in the ribs,
“Y-Yeah. We’re going to see how things go,” he mumbled,
“So, Atsushi-san, because of this new romance, will this stir feelings up among the actors and actresses on set?”
Atsushi puts up a hand in apology, “I really can’t say . . .”
Aoi frowns inside, his inner voice seething; And yet, you think it’s alright to tell them about me . . .
“Atsushi-san, do you think this will prompt Kouyou-san to reveal his relationship plans?”
Aoi’s eyes lowered to the floor, knowing full well the answer to that question,
“Unfortunately I don’t think so,” Atsushi answers, once more apologetic and Aoi almost suspects he enjoys feeding the media such information. It probably makes him a favourite among them,
“But hasn’t there been allegations of him catching a ride home with a colleague?!” Another reporter speaks up and Aoi’s knees almost collapse underneath him.
The only person Uruha has ridden home with is me . . .
Ruki seems to look troubled as well, breaking off his hold on Aoi’s hand to run his own through his hair,
“Well, I surely don’t know about that,” Atsushi laughs a little, “But if that is true, I’m sure he would appreciate you respect his privacy. If hear anything, I’ll be able to give you more. Providing Kouyou agrees of course,”
Aoi’s head started to spin; what was Atsushi, some kind of private detective now?!
“Aoi, calm down,” Ruki murmurs beside him, and Aoi wonders why he’s looking at him so strangely.
I don’t look that bad do I?
It seemed the questions were over sooner than he thought, the crowd suddenly dispersing and picking up their belongings; packing film equipment away and preparing to leave. Aoi could even hear some of them mumbling under their breath at the lack of information from an on-screen perspective; something which makes Aoi’s heart pound.
The three men don’t move just yet though, Aoi himself felt like he was rooted to the spot, proving more worrying when Atsushi took hold of his arm,
“Aoi, are you alright?” he asks, concerned, Ruki leaning his head to look too, “You seem really pale . . .”
“I’m-I’m fine,” Aoi said shakily, even though deep inside he knew he wasn’t. His legs were still quivering beneath him and he was sweating twice the normal rate under his clothes,
“Come on, let’s get you sat down,” Ruki adds, leading the shaken brunette over to a chair located in the waiting area, Atsushi excusing himself after being assured Ruki could handle the situation,
“Aoi, everything went fine,” Ruki tells him, his eyes looking concerned as he kneels in front of his friend, “Look, no one suspects a thing -“
“- But they do though don’t they?!” Aoi hisses back, running a trembling hand through the strands of his hair, “Ruki, they saw him get in my car! They just . . . they just didn’t see me,”
Ruki watches him sadly, “Aoi, would it be so bad for the media to know anyway?”
“What do you think?” Aoi moans lowly, closing his eyes as the room begins to spin, “They’ll know me and you have been lying and that Uruha is gay, and that is gonna cause no end of grief for the guy. Not to mention what the fans could do . . .”
“Aoi, they’re not going to slam him for being gay -“
“- You don’t know that, Ru!” Aoi almost snaps, his breathing becoming a shaky mess the more he thinks about it; flashes of Uruha beaten and blooded in a dark alleyway somewhere making him whimper out loud, “Look at what they did to Yui, his girlfriend, a couple of years ago! Do you see her laughing about it now, Ru? Do you see them together now after what they did to her?!”
Ruki shrugs, “Well, no, but -“
Aoi’s panting by now, and he flicks a glance at his watch, “Oh God, this is a mess. I need get back up there and tell Uruha what they know -!“
“- Whoa, slow down, you’re not going anywhere!” Ruki called out, grabbing the other man’s arm and pulling him back as he stands, “You don’t look well, Aoi. Have you eaten anything yet?”
Aoi shakes his head, swaying a little and he ends up leaning against Ruki heavily, “I need . . . to see him,” he whispers sluggishly, his eyesight tinting black at the edges and he misses the words Ruki tries to speak to him,
“- Down, Aoi,” he calls pleadingly, “Please, I’m telling you, just rest here . . . before you hurt yourself,”
Aoi’s heart races in his chest, and he watches as the ceiling grows farther in distance, his hands reaching out to grab Ruki as he falls.
He doesn’t feel the impact as he hits the floor, too succumbed my numbness to register the pain and even Ruki’s shouts beside him seem distant and far away.
Aoi watches as everything fades to darkness . . .
*
Aoi finds he wakes up somewhat dazed, the back of his head and one of his hips aching considerably from the impact.
He notices he’s back in the staff room, a blanket used as a prop for one of the hospital beds draped across his form, from where he’s lying on the sofa.
His eyes flutter as he tries to regain full consciousness, something warm stroking his hand gently,
“Hey there,” someone murmurs, and Aoi’s eyes widen once he recognises who the voice belongs to, turning his head to see Uruha sitting beside him, holding one of Aoi’s hands in his lap,
“U-Uru-ru-“ he starts, the blonde shaking his head and pressing a finger against Aoi's lips,
“Don’t say anything just yet,” he smiles, “You need to rest,”
Aoi pinches the bridge of his nose as all the memories fall into place from this afternoon. Judging by the lighting quality it had turned early evening now and he suddenly sat up with a gasp, remembering the reporters’ words at the interview,
“Aoi, slow down . . .” Uruha murmurs gently, “Just take it easy, honey,”
Aoi shakes his head as he tries to pull him into his arms, “No, I have to tell you something -!”
“- Ruki already did,” the blonde smiles softly, halting Aoi’s words on his tongue, “Aoi, I’m not concerned about who saw us that night. And you shouldn’t be either,”
“That’s not the point!” Aoi moaned, “Uruha, what if they’re following your every move? If they saw us in the car park where else are they gonna catch us huh? What about when you come to my place? Or if we go out somewhere together? If that happens then . . . then . . .”
Aoi breaks off and sighs heavily, unable to even contemplate what could possibly happen. In fact, before he could even come up with possible scenarios, his head ached as a warning,
“Aoi, that’s not going to happen . . .” Uruha murmurs, trying again to take Aoi into his arms; of which he succeeds,
“Now, I want to know why you passed out after the interview,” he demands softly, Aoi trembling against his shoulder, “Was it because of what that reporter said? Aoi, you don’t have to be scared . . .”
“As a matter of fact, I do!” Aoi sniffs, pulling back with a startle as the staff room door opens, Atsushi’s head peeking round the corner,
“Ah, Aoi, you’re awake,” he says brightly, although Aoi doesn’t feel like matching up to his mood, “How are you feeling? Any better?”
“Yeah, a lot thanks,” Aoi scratches the back of his head, “I skipped lunch earlier. My bad . . .”
He wondered how often it takes people to get good at lying. For Aoi, it seemed they had been rolling off his tongue these past few days. Perhaps he should have been afraid of that,
“Aoi, you should have said,” the producer frowns, tapping his fingers against the doorframe, “Well, thank God you didn’t faint in front of those cameras!” he starts to chuckle, “Goodness knows what would have ended up in the newspapers!”
Aoi sighs inwardly; that’s all he ever seems to give a shit about these days . . .
“Yeah well, I’m fine,” he grimaced as he shuffled on the sofa, “It was just a little light headedness, that’s all,”
“Well, use your day off tomorrow to rest,” Atsushi tells him, almost sternly, “And come back on Tuesday fully refreshed hm? Kouyou, can you make sure Aoi gets home alright?”
Uruha nods in answer before the producer leaves them alone again, and Aoi leans forward to slump his head into his knees,
“We really need to be more careful . . .” he mumbles quietly, feeling Uruha’s soft fingers come to entangle in his hair, stroking the back of his head gently,
“We are, aren’t we?” the blonde whispers, “Aoi, it’s all we’ve been doing for the past week, how much more do you want?”
Aoi stays silent, instead preferring the blissful silence in his cocoon. His head was still throbbing from earlier and in truth he just wanted to take a hot bath and try as best as he can to forget all about the interview,
“Alright, well, I’ll drive you home,” Uruha says after a while, and the couch dips as he gets to his feet, Aoi hearing him open the door and disappear behind it.
He’s left alone for a brief moment while Uruha collects his things; using the solitude to keep his eyes closed and ignore the outside.
Aoi couldn’t help but wonder how his lover had managed to remain so calm and collected like this; when inside, Aoi knew full well that it would be the end of them if they were spotted. Of course he’d made a promise to the actor; to be with him no matter what the consequences were, but somehow Aoi felt that promise may be a little harder to keep.
Harder than he intended it to be.
Aoi was living a dream he thought he’d never have; being together with the one man he had admired for the past two years, having everything he could have desired for.
Aoi supposed good things come at a price. And this was his.
He sighed as the door opened again; once again feeling Uruha take a seat beside him,
“I hope you realise you scared the fucking shit out of me,”
Aoi’s head lifted at record speed,
“R-Ruki?” he blinked, witness to the other man’s most crude stare, a pout fully formed on his lips,
“Do you know how long it took me to carry your lanky butt all the way up here?!” Ruki folded his arms and slumped back against the sofa, bringing his legs up to his chest sulkily, “Jeez, Aoi, you could have at least collapsed in the elevator. It sure would have made my job a lot easier!”
Aoi smiles softly as his lips scrunch to the side, turning his face away with a sigh, only turning back again when Aoi jabbed a finger in his stomach playfully,
“Okay, I’m sorry,” the older said genuinely, “I never meant to scare you. But with all respect, Ruki, I didn’t exactly plan on fainting today,”
“Yeah I know,” Ruki mumbled lowly, unfolding his arms to hug his knees tight to him, “So why did you?”
Aoi let his eyes linger on an inconvenient spot on the floor, “You know why,”
“You’re that worried about some little newspaper report that you fainted?”
“It’s not as simple as that, Ru . . .”
“Yes, it is, Aoi,” the blonde persisted, returning the favour and poking Aoi on the shoulder, “Look, this plan of mine is going to work! No one suspects you anyway, since you’re supposed to be with me. And above that, despite the fame, and despite the riches, despite everything Aoi, do you like him?”
Aoi stared, taken aback, “W-What?”
Ruki’s head slants to one side, his eyes narrowed, “It’s not something you should have to think about, Aoi,”
Aoi gives him a cold stare, wondering faintly where this conversation was going, “Of course I like him,”
“Do you want to be with him?” Ruki asks, with a tone that told Aoi he was completely serious and for once, he was actually trying to help; to make Aoi see sense,
“Of course I do,” Aoi scowled,
“Then, what is your fucking problem?” Ruki rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, “Aoi, you’ve been pining for this guy for almost three years now, and you let a little media attention get to you. So what if people know the truth! So what if they know he’s gay! I mean look at Elton John!!”
Aoi sighs, somehow unable to rid the image of Yui from his mind, “It’s not just about that Ru,”
“Then tell me, Aoi,” the blonde huffs, “Tell me what’s wrong! You finally get what you want, and you still can’t be happy. So tell me why, so that I can better understand the nature of your twisted gay mind,”
Aoi’s eyes well up for a second, letting Ruki slump back against the couch with a heavy sigh, once again caught up between the couple’s problems.
But of course, Aoi knew that there would always be problems. What relationship doesn’t?
But this, could Aoi really make Uruha happy? Even when they’re being watched and snooped and speculated on day in day out, could they put that aside and be happy?
Aoi didn’t know. But there was one thing he knew for sure.
And it terrified him more than anything,
“Because I’m scared for him, Ru,” Aoi whispers after a while, “I’m scared of what’s going to happen to him if people knew,”
Ruki releases his legs and inches closer, “Aoi, what happened to Yui was a onetime thing. They were just rumours, and they’d hardly been going out so I doubt that -“
“- Exactly,” Aoi cuts him off, his voice somewhat dark and disillusioned, “And look what happened to her. Look what might happen to me . . .”
“Aoi . . .” Ruki says quietly, the sentence left unfilled, though Aoi knew there wasn’t much more to say on his side of the argument,
“I don’t want to cause that, Ru,” Aoi says tearfully, feeling a lump grow hard and stubborn in his throat, “I don’t want to make him unhappy. I-I don’t want to make things worse . . . He’s already had so much to deal with. What if everything he knew and loved was taken away from him?”
Ruki lay a hand on his knee, “Aoi, you know that won’t happen. You both knew what you were letting yourselves in for. Don’t you care for each other?”
Aoi nods, a tear sliding down his cheek to match the coldness growing in his heart, “Of course we do,”
Ruki watches him, his fingers rubbing against the denim of Aoi’s jeans as a small comfort, though Aoi knew what he was about to say couldn’t be reassured,
“And maybe that’s why it has to end,” Aoi cries gently, his chest heaving as he tries to control it; not wanting this at all but at the same time knowing it might just save Uruha from the consequences that will follow in the near future,
“Ru, I have to end it. Before someone else ends him,”
*
A/N: Once again, I'm sorry for the late update. I've been told to calm down and not get stressed/worried about university because I'm making myself literally worried sick (><)" haha anyway, I'm okay, so don't worry about me or anything.
Comments are loved my dears. And as promised, Aoi has put himself forward to be your bitch date if you do
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