Last Breath, Last Chance, No end.
The light glares from the alarm clock. The menacing outlines make out 6:50 a.m. I arise out of bed. Sleep trys to overwhelm me. But I fight it off with each step towards the restroom. The light in the hallway glares off the tiling off the floor. As if its laughing, just knowing whats going to happen today. That should have gaven it all away. I do my business and return to my chambers. I begin to dress. One leg at a time. A undershirt followed by a poloshirt to be concealed by a hoodie. I glance at the window, its covered in its last length of frost.
Fifteen minutes later I arrive downstairs. Light my cigerette off the stove and preceed my way to the bus stop. I linger at the stop. The cold bites my body. Wrapping it in that sense of loathing. On the brink of ice. My feet cheel. My heart throbs. The cold overwhelms me. I take another draw off of my cigerette and begin to stomp the ashes. The cherrys falls, and crumbles. The fire fades off leaving nothing but greyish remains. Like a skeleton revealing its secrets of a past life. Almost muttering to itself "Why. why did things end like this. Did I not live. Did I deserve this."
I take it all in. When Suddenly it seems the clouds part and all weight is off my shoulders. The complete and secure feeling of perfect nirvana. Like a warm sunny day with friends at a lake. One of those moments were your just hanging your feet off a side of the boat and letting the sun warm you. Yes I was bathing in my own sun. The center of the nirvana I had created for myself. The one place where happiness always could be found. In the subconcious of my mind. Just that one moment of living.
Then there was no light. I had blinked myself into a white paradox. No walls, no creases just plain lineless white as far as the eyes could see. "Where am I" I Thought to myself. There was an old man with specticals. Sitting in a wicker chair. He looked as though he had been waiting on me. He rolled up his white sleeve and looked down at his watch and nodded. He proceeded towards me with a book. A grey book with the letter T on it. The book was massive and I was amazed that such an elderly man could carry such an object.
"James, is it" muttered the man looking from behind his specticals. "Yes" I replied shocked that he knew my name. "James, do you know why you are here. You are here because you have failed". What the fuck I thought. What did I fail at. It gave me that feeling you get when you know you flunked a chemistry test and you just know your going to catch hell from it. "I do as I pleased. I did no wrong." was my answer. But I should have known there was no right answer for this quiz. "You have been sentenced to an eternal limbo. You will live forever in the day of your funeral. Each day you wake you will wonder into your own funeral. This is your punishment."
God only knows when your word isnt pure. I seen my coffin. Laying there surronded by my friends, relatives and all of those who knew of me. I looked so pale. My hair parted to the side. My eyes closed and a look of solitude fixed on my face. I still wake up everyday to that last day. I fade to my funeral. This is my life. This is what I made of it.
Fifteen minutes later I arrive downstairs. Light my cigerette off the stove and preceed my way to the bus stop. I linger at the stop. The cold bites my body. Wrapping it in that sense of loathing. On the brink of ice. My feet cheel. My heart throbs. The cold overwhelms me. I take another draw off of my cigerette and begin to stomp the ashes. The cherrys falls, and crumbles. The fire fades off leaving nothing but greyish remains. Like a skeleton revealing its secrets of a past life. Almost muttering to itself "Why. why did things end like this. Did I not live. Did I deserve this."
I take it all in. When Suddenly it seems the clouds part and all weight is off my shoulders. The complete and secure feeling of perfect nirvana. Like a warm sunny day with friends at a lake. One of those moments were your just hanging your feet off a side of the boat and letting the sun warm you. Yes I was bathing in my own sun. The center of the nirvana I had created for myself. The one place where happiness always could be found. In the subconcious of my mind. Just that one moment of living.
Then there was no light. I had blinked myself into a white paradox. No walls, no creases just plain lineless white as far as the eyes could see. "Where am I" I Thought to myself. There was an old man with specticals. Sitting in a wicker chair. He looked as though he had been waiting on me. He rolled up his white sleeve and looked down at his watch and nodded. He proceeded towards me with a book. A grey book with the letter T on it. The book was massive and I was amazed that such an elderly man could carry such an object.
"James, is it" muttered the man looking from behind his specticals. "Yes" I replied shocked that he knew my name. "James, do you know why you are here. You are here because you have failed". What the fuck I thought. What did I fail at. It gave me that feeling you get when you know you flunked a chemistry test and you just know your going to catch hell from it. "I do as I pleased. I did no wrong." was my answer. But I should have known there was no right answer for this quiz. "You have been sentenced to an eternal limbo. You will live forever in the day of your funeral. Each day you wake you will wonder into your own funeral. This is your punishment."
God only knows when your word isnt pure. I seen my coffin. Laying there surronded by my friends, relatives and all of those who knew of me. I looked so pale. My hair parted to the side. My eyes closed and a look of solitude fixed on my face. I still wake up everyday to that last day. I fade to my funeral. This is my life. This is what I made of it.