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So, personal drama, feel free to skip.
My ex-boyfriend, the one I broke up with in September of '09, (I actually had to check my lj to remember which month it was) has spent this entire year and five months avoiding me like the plague. By which I mean, of course, that he has been treating me like I have the plague. Which, you know, is his right. I did break up with him. But we have a lot of mutual friends ( a LOT) and they've been totally stuck in the middle of this increasingly awkward and ridiculous situation, and it has been getting totally beyond the point of all reason. This summer he skipped the wedding of two good friends. He's ducked the Saturday brunch all of us do every single week, and he was even skipping all the regular parties, including the ones held by a guy who's been one of his best friends since high school. Yeah.
Three times, in the past year and a half, have we been vaguely in each other's space. Once this fall, when two other good friends got married and he was not only at the wedding, but we were stuck at the same table (through a improbable chain of circumstances) at a restaurant where some of us were getting lunch after the reception. (I consider this the most awkward half-hour of my life, no lie.) Then a Christmas party, where he showed up three hours late, in a suit (we are none of us suit-wearing people by nature) and sat on the floor, two feet away from me, and never made eye contact. Okay. This was all very silly, but I recognized that he can be the kind of person who gets caught up in the spiral of awkward, so, you know, I lamented and made silly faces when talking with friends, and mostly wasn't bothered.
Then this Friday night, I'm at a local bar getting drinks with a friend from out-of-town and I happen to see the ex's good friend in the bar. This is not unusual, since said good friend hangs out with a lot of hospital people, including the ex, and this bar is right across the street from the hospital. (I know.) And I wonder if my ex is going to show up, and sure enough, forty minutes later he does. He gets three steps inside, spots me sitting at the bar, and then does an about-face and walks out.
What the fuck. This man is over thirty years old. And yet.
I wasn't angry, really, just caught somewhere between incredulous and amused and exasperated, but it's all just so ridiculous. And I was prepared to hit the point where I would never feel guilty for making fun of him again, because, seriously, what the actual fuck, and then tonight he sends me this really sweet and thoughtful email about him and his issues and stuff and how he thinks the world of me and he's sorry for the awkward and he wants to get lunch or something. Jesus Christ, talk about getting cut off at the knees, you know? I was working up a righteous mock, and then nothing. Man.
Now I'm going to have to woman up and actually deal with the situation. Damn.
Also I may, or may not, have gone on two dates this weekend. Before you start judging me, it really could have just been him asking me to hang out in a friendly kind of way, we met through mutual pools of friends and we've group-hung out a few times, so it could be that. On the other hand, he came into town, asked me out for drinks, talked for five hours, and then the next night texted to say that he was going to be at the VMFA the next day after brunch, would I like to join? And continued his invitation after being warned that I'm fucking horrible at museums. So that was this afternoon. And I had a great time! I would not be averse if they were dates, though I am fine if it was just friendly, too. And then today one of our mutual friends who was there at the bar and said hello saw me at work during shift changeover and was all smirky and "how was your daaaaate" because he's a bit of a dick, but he was sort of serious so that didn't help. I just don't know the etiquette for this situation!
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My ex-boyfriend, the one I broke up with in September of '09, (I actually had to check my lj to remember which month it was) has spent this entire year and five months avoiding me like the plague. By which I mean, of course, that he has been treating me like I have the plague. Which, you know, is his right. I did break up with him. But we have a lot of mutual friends ( a LOT) and they've been totally stuck in the middle of this increasingly awkward and ridiculous situation, and it has been getting totally beyond the point of all reason. This summer he skipped the wedding of two good friends. He's ducked the Saturday brunch all of us do every single week, and he was even skipping all the regular parties, including the ones held by a guy who's been one of his best friends since high school. Yeah.
Three times, in the past year and a half, have we been vaguely in each other's space. Once this fall, when two other good friends got married and he was not only at the wedding, but we were stuck at the same table (through a improbable chain of circumstances) at a restaurant where some of us were getting lunch after the reception. (I consider this the most awkward half-hour of my life, no lie.) Then a Christmas party, where he showed up three hours late, in a suit (we are none of us suit-wearing people by nature) and sat on the floor, two feet away from me, and never made eye contact. Okay. This was all very silly, but I recognized that he can be the kind of person who gets caught up in the spiral of awkward, so, you know, I lamented and made silly faces when talking with friends, and mostly wasn't bothered.
Then this Friday night, I'm at a local bar getting drinks with a friend from out-of-town and I happen to see the ex's good friend in the bar. This is not unusual, since said good friend hangs out with a lot of hospital people, including the ex, and this bar is right across the street from the hospital. (I know.) And I wonder if my ex is going to show up, and sure enough, forty minutes later he does. He gets three steps inside, spots me sitting at the bar, and then does an about-face and walks out.
What the fuck. This man is over thirty years old. And yet.
I wasn't angry, really, just caught somewhere between incredulous and amused and exasperated, but it's all just so ridiculous. And I was prepared to hit the point where I would never feel guilty for making fun of him again, because, seriously, what the actual fuck, and then tonight he sends me this really sweet and thoughtful email about him and his issues and stuff and how he thinks the world of me and he's sorry for the awkward and he wants to get lunch or something. Jesus Christ, talk about getting cut off at the knees, you know? I was working up a righteous mock, and then nothing. Man.
Now I'm going to have to woman up and actually deal with the situation. Damn.
Also I may, or may not, have gone on two dates this weekend. Before you start judging me, it really could have just been him asking me to hang out in a friendly kind of way, we met through mutual pools of friends and we've group-hung out a few times, so it could be that. On the other hand, he came into town, asked me out for drinks, talked for five hours, and then the next night texted to say that he was going to be at the VMFA the next day after brunch, would I like to join? And continued his invitation after being warned that I'm fucking horrible at museums. So that was this afternoon. And I had a great time! I would not be averse if they were dates, though I am fine if it was just friendly, too. And then today one of our mutual friends who was there at the bar and said hello saw me at work during shift changeover and was all smirky and "how was your daaaaate" because he's a bit of a dick, but he was sort of serious so that didn't help. I just don't know the etiquette for this situation!
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comments)