Ficlet: Perpendicular
Title: Perpendicular
Author: sorrel_forbes
Beta: veritas03
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Harry misguidedly calls an angular git ‘perpendicular’. Pointed and provocative wordplay ensues. They square their differences in the end.
Warnings: suggestion, nerdy dad jokes, fluffy crack. Voldemort? Who is Voldemort? Assumed familiarity with some fundamental geometric Arithmantic terminology. Really, this is more like an unreserved effort to make angle puns than it is like a fic, so if that sort of thing pains you, you may prefer to look away.
Word Count: ~450
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and concepts that were created by JK Rowling, and the rights to which are owned by JK Rowling, her publishers and Warner Brothers.
* * * * *
‘Come on, Hermione! You never used to study this much,’ said Harry. ‘You do realise that you can’t actually do better than straight O’s, don’t you?’
‘It’s not like that at all - my Arithmancy configurations are due tomorrow! I thought I’d finished them ages ago, but I was just checking, and the equations are orthogonal, so the forms are all stupid and perpendicular!’
‘Perpendicular?’
‘Yes. They couldn’t possibly be any more annoying. You’ll have to go without me - I’ll see you at dinner.’
‘If you say so. I’ll see you later, then.’ Harry wandered off to find Ron.
* * * * *
‘She’s even more mental than usual this year,’ complained Ron. ‘She never has time to hang out with us anymore.’
‘I know,’ said Harry. ‘I don’t think she’s even doing it for fun. Arithmancy’s her favourite subject, and she just called it stupid and perpendicular.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Really bloody annoying, I think.’
‘Sounds like Malfoy,’ said Ron.
* * * * *
‘I can’t believe I have to be your partner for this project,’ grumbled Malfoy.
‘Shut up, you perpendicular git,’ said Harry.
‘What’s that?’
‘Just shut up.’
‘No, I think you said something else. Perpendicular? Are you saying that you think I’m perfectly straight?’
‘Perfectly bent, more like.’
‘I suppose that works, too. You think my angles are perfect? Why, thank you, Potter.’
Harry scowled at his desk, then snuck a peek at Malfoy out of the corner of his eye. He was surprised to see that Malfoy actually looked a little pleased. It was unusual, but not actually unpleasant - he almost looked appealing, and wasn’t that an odd thought? Harry made a mental note to check with Hermione if ‘perpendicular’ actually meant what he thought it meant.
Then Malfoy was talking again. ‘Not that I’m complaining, mind, but I’m actually more inclined to think of myself as being “acute”. Brains, too, you know.’
Harry didn’t know, but he didn’t let that stop him. ‘A cute prat, you mean?’
‘You really do think I’m cute!’ Malfoy beamed.
‘It must be the pointy elbows,’ interrupted Pansy. ‘Absolutely irresistible.’ Harry thought her eyes might actually roll right out of her head.
* * * * *
‘I can’t believe you thought I was giving you a compliment!’ said Harry
‘What else was I meant to think?’ asked Malfoy. ‘You said I was perfect and bent and cute.’
‘I called you a git and a prat, and told you to shut up!’
‘You know, we could go back to fighting if that’s what you really want.’
‘Don’t be obtuse, Malfoy!’
‘I’m really not. And I think if you bend over just a little further, you’ll find that it’s exactly the right angle.’
* * * * *
END
* * * * *
Now continued in: Celery Soup for the Sundered Soul
Author: sorrel_forbes
Beta: veritas03
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Harry misguidedly calls an angular git ‘perpendicular’. Pointed and provocative wordplay ensues. They square their differences in the end.
Warnings: suggestion, nerdy dad jokes, fluffy crack. Voldemort? Who is Voldemort? Assumed familiarity with some fundamental geometric Arithmantic terminology. Really, this is more like an unreserved effort to make angle puns than it is like a fic, so if that sort of thing pains you, you may prefer to look away.
Word Count: ~450
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and concepts that were created by JK Rowling, and the rights to which are owned by JK Rowling, her publishers and Warner Brothers.
* * * * *
‘Come on, Hermione! You never used to study this much,’ said Harry. ‘You do realise that you can’t actually do better than straight O’s, don’t you?’
‘It’s not like that at all - my Arithmancy configurations are due tomorrow! I thought I’d finished them ages ago, but I was just checking, and the equations are orthogonal, so the forms are all stupid and perpendicular!’
‘Perpendicular?’
‘Yes. They couldn’t possibly be any more annoying. You’ll have to go without me - I’ll see you at dinner.’
‘If you say so. I’ll see you later, then.’ Harry wandered off to find Ron.
* * * * *
‘She’s even more mental than usual this year,’ complained Ron. ‘She never has time to hang out with us anymore.’
‘I know,’ said Harry. ‘I don’t think she’s even doing it for fun. Arithmancy’s her favourite subject, and she just called it stupid and perpendicular.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Really bloody annoying, I think.’
‘Sounds like Malfoy,’ said Ron.
* * * * *
‘I can’t believe I have to be your partner for this project,’ grumbled Malfoy.
‘Shut up, you perpendicular git,’ said Harry.
‘What’s that?’
‘Just shut up.’
‘No, I think you said something else. Perpendicular? Are you saying that you think I’m perfectly straight?’
‘Perfectly bent, more like.’
‘I suppose that works, too. You think my angles are perfect? Why, thank you, Potter.’
Harry scowled at his desk, then snuck a peek at Malfoy out of the corner of his eye. He was surprised to see that Malfoy actually looked a little pleased. It was unusual, but not actually unpleasant - he almost looked appealing, and wasn’t that an odd thought? Harry made a mental note to check with Hermione if ‘perpendicular’ actually meant what he thought it meant.
Then Malfoy was talking again. ‘Not that I’m complaining, mind, but I’m actually more inclined to think of myself as being “acute”. Brains, too, you know.’
Harry didn’t know, but he didn’t let that stop him. ‘A cute prat, you mean?’
‘You really do think I’m cute!’ Malfoy beamed.
‘It must be the pointy elbows,’ interrupted Pansy. ‘Absolutely irresistible.’ Harry thought her eyes might actually roll right out of her head.
* * * * *
‘I can’t believe you thought I was giving you a compliment!’ said Harry
‘What else was I meant to think?’ asked Malfoy. ‘You said I was perfect and bent and cute.’
‘I called you a git and a prat, and told you to shut up!’
‘You know, we could go back to fighting if that’s what you really want.’
‘Don’t be obtuse, Malfoy!’
‘I’m really not. And I think if you bend over just a little further, you’ll find that it’s exactly the right angle.’
* * * * *
END
* * * * *
Now continued in: Celery Soup for the Sundered Soul