Power Outage (Kirk/McCoy--PG)
Title: Power Outage
Author: sororexitium
Pairing/Characters: Kirk/McCoy, Sam Kirk, Peter Kirk, mentions of Aurelan Kirk.
Rating: PG
Summary: Jim doesn't like pity. He's only blind.
Disclaimer: I'm just floating through someone else's dream. I own nothing.
Notes: This is part 13 of Only With The Heart. I really have nothing else to say...'cept maybe I love you all so much for continuing to read this and leave such wonderful comments. They really do fill my soul with joy.
Jim’s been in a mood since about ten minutes after they arrived at Winona’s farmhouse. Winona isn’t there. She won’t be home for another eight months. However, Sam and his family are back on Earth and there’s really no room at the Kirk-McCoy apartment for two adults and two little kids, and Jim doesn’t like to make them stay in a hotel. So he and Leonard took the week off to come back to Iowa.
Leonard’s in the kitchen, and Sam and Aurelan’s older boy, Peter, is sitting on the floor next to the old-fashioned stove, leaning most of his weight against Leonard’s leg. He doesn’t know how it happened, but Peter has taken a great liking to ‘Uncle Len’. Then all of a sudden Jim comes stomping in, startling both Peter and Leonard as he stumbles over a chair.
“Jesus, motherf-“
“Jim,” Leonard cuts in quickly. “Peter’s in the room.” He gives a quick glance to the little boy looking up at him with wide innocent brown eyes that come straight from Aurelan, but then he looks back up to Jim, who looks to literally be biting his tongue to keep from cursing up a storm in front of his nephew.
He takes a deep breath and pushes the chair under the table with only a little more force than necessary. “Sorry, Petey.”
“S’ok, Uncle Jim.” He takes a look at the admiral, critical of him in much the same way Leonard is. “R’you okay?”
Jim nods. “I’m fine, champ. Just a little angry.”
Peter stands from his place against Leonard’s legs to move over to Jim. Jim hears him easily, but he waits until his nephew is in front of him, tugging on his shirt in the kid’s way of saying ‘don’t kick me.’ “Are you mad at daddy again?” he asks, because Jim and Sam have been fighting like cats and dogs for nearly three days straight.
Sam can’t seem to stop hovering around Jim, guiding him, babying him, moving things out of his way, and Jim gets pissed off at it, which makes Sam pissed off at him. It’s a lovely circular pattern that’s been going on since Jim lost his sight. Leonard and Aurelan have the duty of making sure their respective Kirk doesn’t go attacking the other, and for the most part it works.
But Aurelan has her baby and that’s more demanding than squabbling siblings who both seem to have an ego issue. And Leonard…well, he loves Jim but he’s not gonna keep intervening. Nothing will get solved that way.
Jim sighs and runs his hand through Peter’s blond hair. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just what we do.”
That’s probably not the best thing to say to a four-year-old boy who just received a baby brother into his own life, but Jim’s thoughtless words to the little boy are better than some of the others that he’s heard come flying from Jim’s mouth. Jim takes a deep breath and looks down in the direction of his nephew. “Can I steal Uncle Len for a few minutes?”
Peter looks to seriously be considering this, but finally nods, saying, “Jus’ have him back by movie time.”
After he’s galloped out of the kitchen, Jim calls for him.
“I’m over by the stove, darlin’.”
Jim walks over to him, his hand out in front of him until he brushes against Leonard’s arm. He sighs and steps closer, hovering in Leonard’s personal space and staring towards the ground with a frown on his face. They stand in silence for a few seconds, and then Jim says, “It’s really not terrible…being blind.”
“I know that, Jim,” he responds, ignoring the wiggle in his heart when he hears those words.
The admiral nods shortly. “I know you know. You’re the only person that does, but I can’t make Sam or Aurelan or hell anyone understand that, so I’m going to tell someone who actually listens.” Leonard leans back against the counter, dragging Jim closer to him by his belt loops. “It’s dark,” Jim continues. “That’s really the only thing. I can still do everything I used to do. I can still cook; still read, still go on walks by myself…I just do it in the dark. I’m not broken, and I don’t need constant supervision, and if I stumble into something it isn’t as if I didn’t do it when I could see. Trees are sort of becoming my enemy, but compared to Klingons most people would say that’s a vast improvement. I know you would.”
He gives Leonard a small smile, which he can’t help but return even though it’s not seen.
“It’s just dark,” Jim says again. “Nobody pities people when they walk across the room when the power’s out. Nobody should pity me just because the power’s never coming back on.”
The power’s never coming back on…Leonard sighs, putting his hands on Jim’s narrow hips. “I don’t think Sam even realizes he’s doing it, and while I agree that’s not any good excuse, I think he’s just worried about you.”
Jim snorts. “When my brother, my very emotionally challenged brother, is out worrying you something is very wrong. This is the guy who didn’t even flinch when I broke my leg. Suddenly I can’t see and he equates it with the idea that I’m dying.”
Leonard grips a little harder. “I know, but you only see him maybe two weeks every year. Maybe keeping that in mind will make it a little easier to bear.”
Jim snorts but rests his head gently against the doctor’s. “Depends on if he tries convincing me that Peter needs to go on my walk with me.”
He smiles. “I’m pretty sure that was to get his kid out of his hair for a few minutes.”
Later, they sit down in the family room and Peter is missing for a few seconds, but he finally crawls into the room on all fours, which is odd for the boy because he’s been up and going since he learned to walk. However, the cause of this is because he has his mother’s sleeping mask on over his eyes.
“What’re you doing, son?” Sam asks from his place on the floor. “Why’re you wearing that mask?”
Peter shrugs as he makes contact with the couch an crawls up slowly and sitting beside Jim. Jim does something he doesn’t ordinarily do, and reaches with his hand to see what Peter is doing this time. When he feels the mask, he smiles.
Peter bats at his hand, pushing it away as he answers his father. “I wanted to see like Uncle Jim.” He pauses, thinking hard for a moment with his bottom lip pushed out. “It ain’t so bad. Kinda dark, but I’m not scared of the dark.”
Jim’s eyebrows rise up, as does one of Leonard’s. They wonder if perhaps he didn’t wander too far away when they were talking in the kitchen. It doesn’t matter though. It’s…really kinda sweet and Leonard can see Jim’s face relaxing as he holds his nephew a little closer to him.
Sam looks between Peter and Jim, sighing and shaking his head. The pity is still in his eyes, but there must be something quite momentous in this moment, because he smiles too.
Between them, Leonard takes Jim’s hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.