018 ~ [Action]

[soreplaceable]

[The Malnosso weren't known for their kindness, and perhaps that's why Ion was returned to the village so far from House One. He was tired and all he wanted to do was curl up somewhere and sleep... which was something he was now very capable of doing seeing as he's been transformed into a soadoptable. Those little paws of his can only walk so fast, but he

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[faterecanted]

[Well here's someone the Nyan Master probably hoped to never run into. No such luck. Van watches the little kitten's progress for a bit (even though he'd honestly be perfectly happy never seeing another cat ever again...) and really, it's not making very much. Such a small thing really shouldn't be left to fend for itself.

Can he pick it up without it turning into nothing but a whirl of sharp parts, is the question?]

[soadoptable]

[Even if Ion wanted to try and claw his way free from Van's hands, his tiny class aren't capable of very much damage. He will flail quite a bit though, especially when he sees who it is.]

[Really, Luceti? Really? His luck is just terrible.]

[faterecanted]

[Ion didn't think that flailing would get him put back down, did it? What it does get him is held closer to Van's chest, so Van doesn't do something like drop him.]

Stop that. [Why is he even talking to it it is a kitten]

[soadoptable]

[Oh, now he's being held close against Van's manchest. NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS OKAY.]

[But hey, he stops flailing almost as soon as Van tells him too. At the very least, this kitten obedient.]

[faterecanted]

[Hey, it's better than being dropped.

Once the flailing stops, Van holds the kitten up to get a better look at it. It's kind of...] Tear would like you. ...If she remembered me.

[Surely that wasn't a hint of melancholy; not from Commandant Lifewrecker, Destroyer of Worlds and Young Boys. Surely not.]

[soadoptable]

[Hey, even Destroyers of Worlds have feelings! If he's saying something like that, the he must have run into her while she was still affected by the Malnosso's experiments. And so soon after arriving... that must've hurt.]

[Yes, he's feeling pity for Van. This is Ion, after all. Somewhere beneath all the crazy, there's still a human in there! ...er, in theory, at least.]

[faterecanted]

[Ion would even forgive the person who- oh. Right.

Van looks around, trying to spot a potential owner of this tiny kitten, but there doesn't seem to be anyone. Then he looks at Ion again. What is he going to do with you, little fuzzball?

Surely he's not considering taking you home or anything...]

[soadoptable]

[At this point, Ion has no idea that he'll still be spontaneously changing back and forth, so he figures he'd have ample time to escape unharmed if something like that were to happen. Perhaps that's why he isn't trying to struggle his way free just yet.]

[faterecanted]

[Welp. Nothing for it, looks like he's taking the kitten home for a bit. Which means Ion gets the privilege of being held up against chest again as he walks away from House 1.

As a kitten, he's so small Van really only needs one hand to hold him like this. After a few steps, the other hand occupies itself with absentmindedly skritching him behind the ears.]

I almost wonder if you're a young monster. I've never heard of a green-

[Uh oh.]

[soreplaceable]

[O-O-P-S. Van said the magic word.]

[There's a poof of smoke and suddenly the kitten Van was holding is no more. Instead, he is now holding one (1) mortified Fon Master tightly against his chest KEYWORDS APPLY.]

[faterecanted]

[The worst part of this is definitely that Van was holding that kitten by a hand under its rear. Definitely.

For a moment, Van is honestly, genuinely nonplussed. How does one respond to SUDDENLY, FON MASTER?

It's not as though this is some golden opportunity, fallen into his arms, either. He could hold Ion hostage, for old times' sake, but really, what would that accomplish? And besides, there is no us and a lot of them and he is currently putting a lot of thought into reevaluating his immediate priorities.

So, though it pains his hardened, opportunistic, kidnapping heart to do it, he puts the Fon Master down. Awkwardly. So awkwardly.]

Fon Master, I- [...Seriously? Cat ears? Is this a thing here?]

[soreplaceable]

[Oh. Well in that case, Ion would have most certainly been making this face. Master Badtouch, indeed.]

[The moment he's on the ground, he takes a small step back -- which honestly has little to do with the whole this-is-Van thing and much more to do with the whole most-awkward-embrace thing they were just doing.]

[Honestly. Of all the things he thought could happen with Van here in Luceti, this was definitely not one of them.]

[There's a rather lengthy awkward pause before Ion even tries to say something.]

...h-hello, Van.

[Sob.]

[faterecanted]

[IT WAS COMPLETELY AN ACCIDENT.

For once.

That alarming thing that Van sometimes does, where he just sort of stares at a person; twisted, inscrutable thoughts racing through his head behind those creepy unreadable eyes? It's happening now. Oh, is it ever happening now.]

... You have cat ears. [As a former sufferer of the same, courtesy dictates this be pointed out in the bluntest manner possible.]

[soreplaceable]

I-- what?

[Ion's expression is pretty much just frozen in shock-mode right now, but his eyes do widen a bit as he reaches up to the top of his head to feel that, Van's right, there are two fuzzy cat ears tucked in with his hair. They even twitch a bit at this realization.]

[His hands lower back to his side. Hopefully Van can't see the tail twitching ever so slightly behind him either.]

I suppose... the malnosso's effects haven't entirely worn off yet...

[gdmit malnosso.]

[faterecanted]

[WOULD HE LIE TO-

...

...Would he lie to you about something like-

...

Oh nevermind.]

Is this... the only oddity you're suffering? [Not that Van's sure how he'd tell 'compelled to do the bidding of others' Fon Replica from the regular Fon Replica, but... worth a shot, surely?]

[soreplaceable]

[Oh come on it's not like Ion's some super nice guy who'll do whatever you ask him to as long as you sound since-- oh. Right.]

I certainly hope so. [Though he wouldn't put it past the Malnosso to make this even worse somehow. Perhaps he shouldn't stick around, just in case things get any worse. Then maybe he can just pretend this didn't happen. He takes another tentative step backwards.]

If you'll excuse me, I really should be going...