JUMP; wireless {PART 2}
title: wireless
fandom: JE
rating: pg-13
warnings: potentially offending?
notes: I DON'T THINK THIS IS EVEN FIC ANYMORE.
❶
Yamada lost all respect for Yuto when Yuto got a Plurk account.
"How could you do this to me orz," Yamada tells him through Twitter. All the cool kids are doing it my ass, Yamada was cool, too!
Takaki does not even know what a Twitter is.
❷
After all these years (actually just seven months), Hasshi doesn't know why Yamada is more popular than he is. They entered the blogosphere at around the same time, they both post the same content, and he admits that Yamada's pictures on Facebook are only a notch away from looking as good as his own. Yamada makes typos as epic as his, too! Sometimes. So why doesn't anyone tell Yamada to go die in a fire?
"Because he's not as loud and obnoxious," Chinen points this out to him through voice chat, preoccupied with typing out another lengthly review on the latest episode of Ryuusei no Kizuna.
It doesn't matter, Hasshi reassures himself. He's still got more friends on MySpace.
❸
Ryutaro, using a dummy account, makes another fandom hate meme. Takaki posts, "first!" and all the wank starts pouring in afterward. By the sixth page there is already a bitchfight between Shintaro and Ryutaro, who keeps on deleting Shintaro's retorts and accusations (which consist of "GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY boobs") and Chinen keeps on replying to the anonymous Arashi haters. Hasshi gets some flamers, to whom he does not act kindly to. Kawai does another superb job at playing Guess The BNF, and the rest of A.B.C. reply with off-topic macros.
It is that time of the year again when Hikaru gathers all his online friends and together, they spam, "LOL PENIS."
❹
Shoon left this one fandom because despite the fact that they knew the difference between your and you're none of them had a goddamn personality. Now that he's moved on to greener pastures, he feels like his brain lost a few neurons along the way, because now, the only people he can talk to without losing any brain cells is Yabu and...
Well, there's Yabu.
❺
Shoon tried to keep his brother a fandom virgin. He would have been less of a bother that way, but all of his efforts went down the drain once Reon asked him, "Shoon, what's a lemon?"
❻
Writing slash is Yabu's dirty little secret. Reading slash was Takaki's. In fact, both of them don't know that the other is in the fandom, keeping the other in the dark about his online life. Yabu has never been bothered by not telling Takaki this. It wouldn't make a difference, Takaki would still troll him in real life. Besides, it's not like he'd give a damn anyway, right?
Yabu jolts up from his seat when the bell rings. He had fallen asleep in class again. If he'd stop working on that ficathon each night, maybe he could-
"So you write porn."
Takaki's hunches were never right, so Yabu figures he must have found out somehow. Yabu tries to go on the defensive.
"What are you talking about?" Yabu laughs, making sure he hides any sign of nervousness. "How can you be so sure? There's no way I'd-"
Takaki hovers over Yabu's shoulder to read his notebook. "Akanishi slides his-"
"Okay okay, I'm gross, we can't be friends anymore, I get it," Yabu shoves everything on his desk into his bag and stomps out the classroom.
"But it's pretty good porn!" Takaki calls out and stops Yabu mid-step.
❼
"I think Tamaki is more in love with the idea of being someone else's prince than with Haruhi herself," Inoo says, pulling out topic of another shoujo manga out of nowhere. "What do you think?"
He doesn't let Daiki answer, but he goes on without letting Daiki feign interest in the topic. "And aside from his twin brother, Hikaru didn't have any other friends when he was younger, that's why he's uncomfortable about the idea of sharing Haruhi with other people. It isn't love," Inoo explains. "It's selfishness."
"I don't think he's selfish, Inoo-chan," Daiki shrugs, busy reading a book. "You know, maybe he's the jealous type. I'm sure he'll understand once you sort it out." He lifts his eyes up from the book he was reading. "Wait, which Hikaru are we talking about again?"
Inoo then remembers that Daiki isn't in any fandom whatsoever. He pities him.
❽
Hikaru likes making fun of Hasshi's posts. He doesn't hate Hasshi-Hikaru thinks he's a little noobish, but he's an overall good guy-it's just that whenever Hasshi commits a typographical error and disgraces the English language on the internet, he can't help but go, "Lol fail." Last December, Hikaru linked Inoo to one of Hasshi's posts in which Hasshi asked for help on wrapping gifts. Hikaru figured he and Inoo were on the same wavelength, because Inoo replied, "lol show it to Chinen." Knowing how much of a grammar Nazi Chinen was, Hikaru was more than happy to oblige.
hikaru is awesome: http://xxhasshixx.livejournal.com/740324.html/
hikaru is awesome: do u no how to gift rape
hikaru is awesome: DO U NO HOW TO GIFT RAPE
hikaru is awesome: DO U NO HOW TO GIFT RAPE
i love ohno-kun: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
❾
Hikaru nags Daiki online on a daily basis because he is the only other person on his f-list that knows what he's talking about. (Keito only goes online on weekends, so he spams him with emails instead.) On certain occasions, Inoo joins in for the hell of it. He and Hikaru spam Daiki with emoji and "DESU DESU DESU DESU" until Daiki tells them to stfu, he is doing homework, don't they have anything else better to do?
"I guess I could look for Pokeporn on 4chan to spam you with..." Hikaru types. Daiki immediately logs off.
❿
When Inoo posts a cryptic, comments-disabled, one-liner post on his Livejournal, Hikaru is stumped.
"like wtf is he trying to say," Hikaru IMs Daiki on one of those rare days when he doesn't particularly feel like spamming the guy with Chuck Norris jokes. "and isn't this sth a girl would do? ¬_¬"
"Idiot, it means," Daiki looks for the right term to use before typing out the rest of his message and hitting Enter. "he's in love, duh."
"O RLY."
fandom: JE
rating: pg-13
warnings: potentially offending?
notes: I DON'T THINK THIS IS EVEN FIC ANYMORE.
❶
Yamada lost all respect for Yuto when Yuto got a Plurk account.
"How could you do this to me orz," Yamada tells him through Twitter. All the cool kids are doing it my ass, Yamada was cool, too!
Takaki does not even know what a Twitter is.
❷
After all these years (actually just seven months), Hasshi doesn't know why Yamada is more popular than he is. They entered the blogosphere at around the same time, they both post the same content, and he admits that Yamada's pictures on Facebook are only a notch away from looking as good as his own. Yamada makes typos as epic as his, too! Sometimes. So why doesn't anyone tell Yamada to go die in a fire?
"Because he's not as loud and obnoxious," Chinen points this out to him through voice chat, preoccupied with typing out another lengthly review on the latest episode of Ryuusei no Kizuna.
It doesn't matter, Hasshi reassures himself. He's still got more friends on MySpace.
❸
Ryutaro, using a dummy account, makes another fandom hate meme. Takaki posts, "first!" and all the wank starts pouring in afterward. By the sixth page there is already a bitchfight between Shintaro and Ryutaro, who keeps on deleting Shintaro's retorts and accusations (which consist of "GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY boobs") and Chinen keeps on replying to the anonymous Arashi haters. Hasshi gets some flamers, to whom he does not act kindly to. Kawai does another superb job at playing Guess The BNF, and the rest of A.B.C. reply with off-topic macros.
It is that time of the year again when Hikaru gathers all his online friends and together, they spam, "LOL PENIS."
❹
Shoon left this one fandom because despite the fact that they knew the difference between your and you're none of them had a goddamn personality. Now that he's moved on to greener pastures, he feels like his brain lost a few neurons along the way, because now, the only people he can talk to without losing any brain cells is Yabu and...
Well, there's Yabu.
❺
Shoon tried to keep his brother a fandom virgin. He would have been less of a bother that way, but all of his efforts went down the drain once Reon asked him, "Shoon, what's a lemon?"
❻
Writing slash is Yabu's dirty little secret. Reading slash was Takaki's. In fact, both of them don't know that the other is in the fandom, keeping the other in the dark about his online life. Yabu has never been bothered by not telling Takaki this. It wouldn't make a difference, Takaki would still troll him in real life. Besides, it's not like he'd give a damn anyway, right?
Yabu jolts up from his seat when the bell rings. He had fallen asleep in class again. If he'd stop working on that ficathon each night, maybe he could-
"So you write porn."
Takaki's hunches were never right, so Yabu figures he must have found out somehow. Yabu tries to go on the defensive.
"What are you talking about?" Yabu laughs, making sure he hides any sign of nervousness. "How can you be so sure? There's no way I'd-"
Takaki hovers over Yabu's shoulder to read his notebook. "Akanishi slides his-"
"Okay okay, I'm gross, we can't be friends anymore, I get it," Yabu shoves everything on his desk into his bag and stomps out the classroom.
"But it's pretty good porn!" Takaki calls out and stops Yabu mid-step.
❼
"I think Tamaki is more in love with the idea of being someone else's prince than with Haruhi herself," Inoo says, pulling out topic of another shoujo manga out of nowhere. "What do you think?"
He doesn't let Daiki answer, but he goes on without letting Daiki feign interest in the topic. "And aside from his twin brother, Hikaru didn't have any other friends when he was younger, that's why he's uncomfortable about the idea of sharing Haruhi with other people. It isn't love," Inoo explains. "It's selfishness."
"I don't think he's selfish, Inoo-chan," Daiki shrugs, busy reading a book. "You know, maybe he's the jealous type. I'm sure he'll understand once you sort it out." He lifts his eyes up from the book he was reading. "Wait, which Hikaru are we talking about again?"
Inoo then remembers that Daiki isn't in any fandom whatsoever. He pities him.
❽
Hikaru likes making fun of Hasshi's posts. He doesn't hate Hasshi-Hikaru thinks he's a little noobish, but he's an overall good guy-it's just that whenever Hasshi commits a typographical error and disgraces the English language on the internet, he can't help but go, "Lol fail." Last December, Hikaru linked Inoo to one of Hasshi's posts in which Hasshi asked for help on wrapping gifts. Hikaru figured he and Inoo were on the same wavelength, because Inoo replied, "lol show it to Chinen." Knowing how much of a grammar Nazi Chinen was, Hikaru was more than happy to oblige.
hikaru is awesome: http://xxhasshixx.livejournal.com/740324.html/
hikaru is awesome: do u no how to gift rape
hikaru is awesome: DO U NO HOW TO GIFT RAPE
hikaru is awesome: DO U NO HOW TO GIFT RAPE
i love ohno-kun: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
❾
Hikaru nags Daiki online on a daily basis because he is the only other person on his f-list that knows what he's talking about. (Keito only goes online on weekends, so he spams him with emails instead.) On certain occasions, Inoo joins in for the hell of it. He and Hikaru spam Daiki with emoji and "DESU DESU DESU DESU" until Daiki tells them to stfu, he is doing homework, don't they have anything else better to do?
"I guess I could look for Pokeporn on 4chan to spam you with..." Hikaru types. Daiki immediately logs off.
❿
When Inoo posts a cryptic, comments-disabled, one-liner post on his Livejournal, Hikaru is stumped.
"like wtf is he trying to say," Hikaru IMs Daiki on one of those rare days when he doesn't particularly feel like spamming the guy with Chuck Norris jokes. "and isn't this sth a girl would do? ¬_¬"
"Idiot, it means," Daiki looks for the right term to use before typing out the rest of his message and hitting Enter. "he's in love, duh."
"O RLY."