Coming Out
Coming Out
By Mushroom
A/N: Based on a true story. I had a long conversation with a gay friend, which resulted in:
“Yes. YES. YEEEEESSS. OH GOD YES!!!! YEESSS!!!”
Carlo gaped at her in disbelief. He did not expect this at all. He expected something else. But this? This, this was just too weird. He watched in silence as his beloved older sister jumped on the bed and roared like a she-lion, pumping her seemingly delicate fists in the air and swaying her hips violently. I never knew Christine was a dancer, thought Carlo as various CDs and tapes crashed on the floor.
“YES!!! I WIN AT LIFE!!! I WIN THE UNIVERSE!!! I PAWN YOU ALL~! LOLLERS!!!” She gave another quite orgasmic squeal, which, without doubt, scandalized their next-door neighbours. WHACK! Came the high kick, a fatal move that knocked down the wall clock.
Okay, so she’s an awful dancer.
Several minutes later, Christine was still performing her dance of victory on the bed. Carlo tried to focus on his assigned readings, but his sister insisted on attention as she wiggled her ass on his face. Carlo looked up and read “SPANK ME” printed across her buttocks.
And so he promptly obeyed, which resulted in Christine falling face-flat on the sheets.
“Stop shoving your fashionable underwear on my face,” said Carlo in a monotone, “It’s beyond disturbing.”
“I hereby declare this day the Bestest-Among-The-Restest Day!” said Christine, happy face emerging from the blankets. She ignored her younger brother’s look of utter confusion and pinched his cheeks. There were no words to describe Carlo’s bewilderment, hence:
“God.”
“I’m so happy, you know?”
“No. I don’t know.” Carlo replied flatly. “You’re not supposed to be happy. You’re supposed to curl up in a corner and die.”
“But you just announced you’re GAY!” said Christine brightly, and her eyes literally sparkled with joy. “That’s great news!”
“G-great?” sputtered Carlo, running a hand over his dark hair. “H-how…you mean you’re actually cool with it?”
“COOL WITH IT?! You’re asking me if I’m ‘cool with it?!’” For a second Carlo thought that Christine’s dance of joy was only a joke, and that his sibling was truly outraged by the news. But then Christine gave him a hug, which felt awkward.
“I’m not just cool with it, Carlo. I’m really happy that you confessed to me. Totally,” she added cheerfully, whispering in his ear. Carlo felt a burst of light warm his anxious heart. His sister pulled back suddenly and grinned. “I mean, FINALLY! FINALLY!”
“Finally what?”
“Finally I know someone who’s gay! This is awesome! Now I have reference material!”
Carlo gave her a questioning look.
“Hold on,” Christine ruffled his hair and walked out of his bedroom. Carlo almost believed that his sister planned on phoning her friends for the ‘great’ news, but she returned, carrying her beloved laptop, one of the few things no other human being could touch. Carlo helped her set the laptop on his bed, and she tapped the keyboard impatiently as it opened. “Come on, come on…”
He bit his lip. Again, this was weird. He expected the worst. He expected his sister to either a) give him discomfited glances, b) interrogate him with piercing questions until he was left to bleed dry or c) burst into tears. But Christine was humming to herself, in a good mood, and it wasn’t the right reaction. It just wasn’t right. It was wrong, somehow, to see his sister so accepting, so…wait, why was he even complaining? His sister was being open-minded, and it was the most wonderful feeling, to be loved even if he was different.
“…What exactly are you showing me?” asked Carlo as Christine browsed the My Documents folder. She accessed a folder entitled History of Civilization, which contained random Word files and photos. Just when Carlo waited for a lecture on Adam and Eve (“Boy and girl, there was no boy and boy in the beginning, ask anyone”), Christine clicked on a folder named Calculus.
Numerous folders, texts, and pictures appeared, but the display images were too small so Carlo couldn’t see them properly. Besides, his glasses were broken, so he had to squint.
“Don’t tell me this is porn,” joked Carlo, who still couldn't see.
“Even better.” She selected a picture, and Carlo’s jaw dropped. “Gay porn.”
The enlarged picture featured a comic with two men having sex. The muscular man had the tiny boy’s legs on his shoulders, and was thrusting inside him. The thrust seemed really forceful, since the boy’s face was contorted with pain and pleasure.
“Calculus, huh.” Carlo said weakly after a lengthy pause. Where are their dicks?
“I call this the defiling process,” His sister informed, swishing her ponytail from left to right. “It usually disturbs the stupid people, but since you’re already a homo, you probably know all this stuff, don’t you?”
“You like these things.” It was not a question.
“…Yeah,” said Christine fondly. “You see? That’s why it’s cool with me! I’m a big slash fan! Gay sex is just awesome, isn’t it? I mean, watching a girl and a boy doing it is just waaaay too boring, I mean, you see it in TV and in the theatres all the time, and they’re just doing the same things! The plotlines are the same too; even the forbidden love thing gets boring when played by heterosexual characters, but homosexual couples have more laws and templates to break, so it’s really hard for them, therefore making their situation more romantic. And, last of all, I think anal penetration is fabulous. Such an adventurous way of having sex, not the usual inserting here and there, and they could jack each other off…”
Carlo was weakened by the sudden influx of information, so his voice became hoarse. He was caught completely off-guard. “W-wait a minute…since when…?”
“…and I write gay sex and post in the net, where other slashers read it. Not to sound like a braggart, but I’m quite famous in the net,” Christine chattered on excitedly, “My online pseudonym, Hot-Underscore-Iron, is known by virtually everyone, and my fic journal gets like, more than a hundred hits a day. And now, your being gay is absolutely a plus, since I can ask you important questions about what it feels like for a man and incorporate them in my writings! You can help me improve, Carlo! YOU’RE THE BEST BROTHER IN THE WORLD!”
“Christine, Christine…listen to me.” Carlo said firmly, grasping her shoulders and looking into her awestruck eyes. “Since when did you start getting into this whole…gay thing?”
“Since grade school.” Christine declared, rather proudly at that.
“What-WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!”
She looked at him as if he were knocked in the head. “He-llo? I showed you the doujinshi I drew! The ones in my clear books!”
“But the other guy...he looked like a girl…”
She snickered. “No, he’s not!” She opened another picture in the laptop and pointed at the squirming boy on the screen. “If you look closely, the girly-looking boy has no boobs.”
“Yeah, and he has no dick, either.” Carlo snorted.
“It’s called Leaving It To The Viewers’ Imagination,” She held a finger at the air. “Artists do it loads of times. And they have dicks, for your information. They are merely translucent.”
“…And you post those stuff in the internet? For millions of people to consume?” Carlo felt light-headed. This was too shocking for him; he always thought that his older sister was a bookworm and a college freak. Christine spent most of her days studying and being active in her extracurricular duties; it was impossible for her to have another identity in the endless sea of the net…and an identity famous for her odd works, even…
“Yeah, and there are loads of slash fic writers, too.”
“WHAT-THERE ARE MORE OF YOU?!”
Christine nodded absently, smiling at the laptop screen as if remembering special memories of girly men with no male genitalia and their large, domineering partners. Carlo could do nothing but stare at his sister as if she sprouted long and pointy horns on her head. Surreal. His sister was not homophobic nor an advocate of gay rights…she was actually a fan of gay couples. A fan. An obsessive fan.
What?
“Oh my god,” Christine repeated giddily, placing her palms on her reddening cheeks. “Since you like men, then tell me your experiences. I can even write a story about you and your sexual encounters!”
Carlo fiercely pulled the windows shut for fear of scarring the neighbours forever and gritted his teeth. “I don’t like men.”
“Heeeeey, you said-“
“I said, I don’t like men.”
Christine’s face fell. She almost looked like she wanted to cry; so crumpled her form seemed, so miserable. Carlo felt guilty, and incoherent sounds escaped his quivering mouth. He hated hurting his older sister.
“I-I mean, I don’t like men, but I do like…I like just one person,” and he sighed, almost inaudibly. Dreamily, even. “…Just John.”
“Just John?!” she perked up, happy and bright once again. “Who’s Just John?! Yikeeee!” she squealed, in typical feminine behaviour when faced with romantic potential.
“John’s this guy…I met…” Carlo was blushing furiously then, and he began waving his arms in what he hoped to be a dismissive manner. “But it’s nothing, we just got together three weeks ago…”
And so Carlo told his older sister how he first met ‘Just John’. Carlo and John knew each other in high school, but they weren’t in the same circle and they did not have similar interests so they ignored each other-they only talked during class activities. Among their batch mates, they were the only two who managed to get into the top university, and they shared the same course at that, so they relied on each other to survive college life. Christine listened fervently and screamed enthusiastically at the sappy parts. When Carlo was done, he was flushed but relieved that he told his sister the truth at last.
“…and one day, romance blossomed.” Christine remarked, clapping her hands. “It always starts with friendship! So, who tops?”
“E-Excuse me?” Carlo turned pale.
His older sister rolled her eyes dramatically. “Who tops? Who dominates? Who pushes who down the bed and acts all demanding for hot summer lovin’?”
Before the snobby part of him pointed out that it was December, he started stuttering again. “I-I’m not sure I understand you.” Sweat started to form at his temples. If he interpreted correctly, it seemed like his sister was inquiring about…
“God Carlo, if you’re a major bottom then you don’t have to be embarrassed, haha!” She whacked him on the back and began chuckling vehemently. "Remember this: There's a woman in every man!"
“I’m not a bottom!” Carlo insisted loudly. “We haven’t even-“
Christine’s gasp of alarm was louder than all her past screaming combined that Carlo practically jumped from his bed and stayed in midair for more than a second.
“-you know.” Carlo hid his face with his hands and blushed with a shy smile on his lips.
“No fucking way.” Now it was Christine’s turn to look at her brother in disbelief; she even had a hand over her heart, the perfect picture of total shock.
“Although we did hold hands last Friday…” He mumbled softly, looking at his hands and imagining fingers entwined with his. “We were wrestling, and he punched my nose and it bled real bad, I thought I was going to die. I tried kicking him on the stomach, but there was blood on my clothes. John was so devastated; he took me to the infirmary and stayed by my side, and he…he held my hand, like this…” He lifted his fingers and stared at them with a gentle smile.
“YOU’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR THREE WEEKS AND ALL YOU DID WAS HAND-HOLDING?!”
Carlo nodded. “I told him I wasn’t ready yet, and it was fine with him. We’ll do it when the time is right. But for now, we’re working on it slowly. Maybe after college. Besides,” he looked at Christine with utmost seriousness. “I love John. I’m not after his body. It’s okay if we don’t have sex at all, as long as he is with me. We can cuddle, maybe, and hold hands during dates…and after two years we can do a French…”
Christine’s face was purple, and she was struggling to keep her composure.
“…but no sex. We must remain pure, until the time is right. I hope you understand that we truly love each other. John…he…told me that he doesn’t want to violate me. It’s the most romantic thing he’s said… ”
“T-That means you can’t help me with my slash fics!”
Carlo blinked.
Christine threw a pillow at him. “You’re useless. Get out of the room.”
***
When Carlo entered the apartment unit John stood up and clasped his shoulder nervously. “C-Carlo, what…?”
His dejected face told him volumes. John closed his eyes tightly and bowed his head. “So, your sister doesn’t want us to be together, and you have to follow what she says…I understand. I love you Carlo, but I understand…”
“Quite the contrary.” Carlo gently pushed him, and they both fell on the couch. “She’s happy. She’s overjoyed. She’s pro-gay. She even has pictures of gay men having sex in her laptop, living in peace with her Calculus homework.”
“Wow, she told you that?” John exclaimed. “Your sister is to be admired. What a bold confession!”
They held hands and cuddled and exchanged sweet-nothings all night long.
END
By Mushroom
A/N: Based on a true story. I had a long conversation with a gay friend, which resulted in:
“Yes. YES. YEEEEESSS. OH GOD YES!!!! YEESSS!!!”
Carlo gaped at her in disbelief. He did not expect this at all. He expected something else. But this? This, this was just too weird. He watched in silence as his beloved older sister jumped on the bed and roared like a she-lion, pumping her seemingly delicate fists in the air and swaying her hips violently. I never knew Christine was a dancer, thought Carlo as various CDs and tapes crashed on the floor.
“YES!!! I WIN AT LIFE!!! I WIN THE UNIVERSE!!! I PAWN YOU ALL~! LOLLERS!!!” She gave another quite orgasmic squeal, which, without doubt, scandalized their next-door neighbours. WHACK! Came the high kick, a fatal move that knocked down the wall clock.
Okay, so she’s an awful dancer.
Several minutes later, Christine was still performing her dance of victory on the bed. Carlo tried to focus on his assigned readings, but his sister insisted on attention as she wiggled her ass on his face. Carlo looked up and read “SPANK ME” printed across her buttocks.
And so he promptly obeyed, which resulted in Christine falling face-flat on the sheets.
“Stop shoving your fashionable underwear on my face,” said Carlo in a monotone, “It’s beyond disturbing.”
“I hereby declare this day the Bestest-Among-The-Restest Day!” said Christine, happy face emerging from the blankets. She ignored her younger brother’s look of utter confusion and pinched his cheeks. There were no words to describe Carlo’s bewilderment, hence:
“God.”
“I’m so happy, you know?”
“No. I don’t know.” Carlo replied flatly. “You’re not supposed to be happy. You’re supposed to curl up in a corner and die.”
“But you just announced you’re GAY!” said Christine brightly, and her eyes literally sparkled with joy. “That’s great news!”
“G-great?” sputtered Carlo, running a hand over his dark hair. “H-how…you mean you’re actually cool with it?”
“COOL WITH IT?! You’re asking me if I’m ‘cool with it?!’” For a second Carlo thought that Christine’s dance of joy was only a joke, and that his sibling was truly outraged by the news. But then Christine gave him a hug, which felt awkward.
“I’m not just cool with it, Carlo. I’m really happy that you confessed to me. Totally,” she added cheerfully, whispering in his ear. Carlo felt a burst of light warm his anxious heart. His sister pulled back suddenly and grinned. “I mean, FINALLY! FINALLY!”
“Finally what?”
“Finally I know someone who’s gay! This is awesome! Now I have reference material!”
Carlo gave her a questioning look.
“Hold on,” Christine ruffled his hair and walked out of his bedroom. Carlo almost believed that his sister planned on phoning her friends for the ‘great’ news, but she returned, carrying her beloved laptop, one of the few things no other human being could touch. Carlo helped her set the laptop on his bed, and she tapped the keyboard impatiently as it opened. “Come on, come on…”
He bit his lip. Again, this was weird. He expected the worst. He expected his sister to either a) give him discomfited glances, b) interrogate him with piercing questions until he was left to bleed dry or c) burst into tears. But Christine was humming to herself, in a good mood, and it wasn’t the right reaction. It just wasn’t right. It was wrong, somehow, to see his sister so accepting, so…wait, why was he even complaining? His sister was being open-minded, and it was the most wonderful feeling, to be loved even if he was different.
“…What exactly are you showing me?” asked Carlo as Christine browsed the My Documents folder. She accessed a folder entitled History of Civilization, which contained random Word files and photos. Just when Carlo waited for a lecture on Adam and Eve (“Boy and girl, there was no boy and boy in the beginning, ask anyone”), Christine clicked on a folder named Calculus.
Numerous folders, texts, and pictures appeared, but the display images were too small so Carlo couldn’t see them properly. Besides, his glasses were broken, so he had to squint.
“Don’t tell me this is porn,” joked Carlo, who still couldn't see.
“Even better.” She selected a picture, and Carlo’s jaw dropped. “Gay porn.”
The enlarged picture featured a comic with two men having sex. The muscular man had the tiny boy’s legs on his shoulders, and was thrusting inside him. The thrust seemed really forceful, since the boy’s face was contorted with pain and pleasure.
“Calculus, huh.” Carlo said weakly after a lengthy pause. Where are their dicks?
“I call this the defiling process,” His sister informed, swishing her ponytail from left to right. “It usually disturbs the stupid people, but since you’re already a homo, you probably know all this stuff, don’t you?”
“You like these things.” It was not a question.
“…Yeah,” said Christine fondly. “You see? That’s why it’s cool with me! I’m a big slash fan! Gay sex is just awesome, isn’t it? I mean, watching a girl and a boy doing it is just waaaay too boring, I mean, you see it in TV and in the theatres all the time, and they’re just doing the same things! The plotlines are the same too; even the forbidden love thing gets boring when played by heterosexual characters, but homosexual couples have more laws and templates to break, so it’s really hard for them, therefore making their situation more romantic. And, last of all, I think anal penetration is fabulous. Such an adventurous way of having sex, not the usual inserting here and there, and they could jack each other off…”
Carlo was weakened by the sudden influx of information, so his voice became hoarse. He was caught completely off-guard. “W-wait a minute…since when…?”
“…and I write gay sex and post in the net, where other slashers read it. Not to sound like a braggart, but I’m quite famous in the net,” Christine chattered on excitedly, “My online pseudonym, Hot-Underscore-Iron, is known by virtually everyone, and my fic journal gets like, more than a hundred hits a day. And now, your being gay is absolutely a plus, since I can ask you important questions about what it feels like for a man and incorporate them in my writings! You can help me improve, Carlo! YOU’RE THE BEST BROTHER IN THE WORLD!”
“Christine, Christine…listen to me.” Carlo said firmly, grasping her shoulders and looking into her awestruck eyes. “Since when did you start getting into this whole…gay thing?”
“Since grade school.” Christine declared, rather proudly at that.
“What-WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!”
She looked at him as if he were knocked in the head. “He-llo? I showed you the doujinshi I drew! The ones in my clear books!”
“But the other guy...he looked like a girl…”
She snickered. “No, he’s not!” She opened another picture in the laptop and pointed at the squirming boy on the screen. “If you look closely, the girly-looking boy has no boobs.”
“Yeah, and he has no dick, either.” Carlo snorted.
“It’s called Leaving It To The Viewers’ Imagination,” She held a finger at the air. “Artists do it loads of times. And they have dicks, for your information. They are merely translucent.”
“…And you post those stuff in the internet? For millions of people to consume?” Carlo felt light-headed. This was too shocking for him; he always thought that his older sister was a bookworm and a college freak. Christine spent most of her days studying and being active in her extracurricular duties; it was impossible for her to have another identity in the endless sea of the net…and an identity famous for her odd works, even…
“Yeah, and there are loads of slash fic writers, too.”
“WHAT-THERE ARE MORE OF YOU?!”
Christine nodded absently, smiling at the laptop screen as if remembering special memories of girly men with no male genitalia and their large, domineering partners. Carlo could do nothing but stare at his sister as if she sprouted long and pointy horns on her head. Surreal. His sister was not homophobic nor an advocate of gay rights…she was actually a fan of gay couples. A fan. An obsessive fan.
What?
“Oh my god,” Christine repeated giddily, placing her palms on her reddening cheeks. “Since you like men, then tell me your experiences. I can even write a story about you and your sexual encounters!”
Carlo fiercely pulled the windows shut for fear of scarring the neighbours forever and gritted his teeth. “I don’t like men.”
“Heeeeey, you said-“
“I said, I don’t like men.”
Christine’s face fell. She almost looked like she wanted to cry; so crumpled her form seemed, so miserable. Carlo felt guilty, and incoherent sounds escaped his quivering mouth. He hated hurting his older sister.
“I-I mean, I don’t like men, but I do like…I like just one person,” and he sighed, almost inaudibly. Dreamily, even. “…Just John.”
“Just John?!” she perked up, happy and bright once again. “Who’s Just John?! Yikeeee!” she squealed, in typical feminine behaviour when faced with romantic potential.
“John’s this guy…I met…” Carlo was blushing furiously then, and he began waving his arms in what he hoped to be a dismissive manner. “But it’s nothing, we just got together three weeks ago…”
And so Carlo told his older sister how he first met ‘Just John’. Carlo and John knew each other in high school, but they weren’t in the same circle and they did not have similar interests so they ignored each other-they only talked during class activities. Among their batch mates, they were the only two who managed to get into the top university, and they shared the same course at that, so they relied on each other to survive college life. Christine listened fervently and screamed enthusiastically at the sappy parts. When Carlo was done, he was flushed but relieved that he told his sister the truth at last.
“…and one day, romance blossomed.” Christine remarked, clapping her hands. “It always starts with friendship! So, who tops?”
“E-Excuse me?” Carlo turned pale.
His older sister rolled her eyes dramatically. “Who tops? Who dominates? Who pushes who down the bed and acts all demanding for hot summer lovin’?”
Before the snobby part of him pointed out that it was December, he started stuttering again. “I-I’m not sure I understand you.” Sweat started to form at his temples. If he interpreted correctly, it seemed like his sister was inquiring about…
“God Carlo, if you’re a major bottom then you don’t have to be embarrassed, haha!” She whacked him on the back and began chuckling vehemently. "Remember this: There's a woman in every man!"
“I’m not a bottom!” Carlo insisted loudly. “We haven’t even-“
Christine’s gasp of alarm was louder than all her past screaming combined that Carlo practically jumped from his bed and stayed in midair for more than a second.
“-you know.” Carlo hid his face with his hands and blushed with a shy smile on his lips.
“No fucking way.” Now it was Christine’s turn to look at her brother in disbelief; she even had a hand over her heart, the perfect picture of total shock.
“Although we did hold hands last Friday…” He mumbled softly, looking at his hands and imagining fingers entwined with his. “We were wrestling, and he punched my nose and it bled real bad, I thought I was going to die. I tried kicking him on the stomach, but there was blood on my clothes. John was so devastated; he took me to the infirmary and stayed by my side, and he…he held my hand, like this…” He lifted his fingers and stared at them with a gentle smile.
“YOU’VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR THREE WEEKS AND ALL YOU DID WAS HAND-HOLDING?!”
Carlo nodded. “I told him I wasn’t ready yet, and it was fine with him. We’ll do it when the time is right. But for now, we’re working on it slowly. Maybe after college. Besides,” he looked at Christine with utmost seriousness. “I love John. I’m not after his body. It’s okay if we don’t have sex at all, as long as he is with me. We can cuddle, maybe, and hold hands during dates…and after two years we can do a French…”
Christine’s face was purple, and she was struggling to keep her composure.
“…but no sex. We must remain pure, until the time is right. I hope you understand that we truly love each other. John…he…told me that he doesn’t want to violate me. It’s the most romantic thing he’s said… ”
“T-That means you can’t help me with my slash fics!”
Carlo blinked.
Christine threw a pillow at him. “You’re useless. Get out of the room.”
***
When Carlo entered the apartment unit John stood up and clasped his shoulder nervously. “C-Carlo, what…?”
His dejected face told him volumes. John closed his eyes tightly and bowed his head. “So, your sister doesn’t want us to be together, and you have to follow what she says…I understand. I love you Carlo, but I understand…”
“Quite the contrary.” Carlo gently pushed him, and they both fell on the couch. “She’s happy. She’s overjoyed. She’s pro-gay. She even has pictures of gay men having sex in her laptop, living in peace with her Calculus homework.”
“Wow, she told you that?” John exclaimed. “Your sister is to be admired. What a bold confession!”
They held hands and cuddled and exchanged sweet-nothings all night long.
END