(no subject)
Proof in the case of Jenn never writing again. Poor Dr. Seuss is probably turning over in his grave.
Written for the DA Blackmoor MMRPG...
How the Egg of Coot Stole Christmas
Every Thonian in Blackmoor
Liked Solstice a lot...
But the Egg,
Who lived just North of Blackmoor,
Did NOT!
The Egg hated Solstice!
The whole Solstice season!
Now, please don’t ask why.
No one quite knows the reason.
could be that this creature had no head at all.
could be, perhaps, that he hated his thralls.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that he wanted a magical wall.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His thoughts being tragic,
He stood there on Solstice Eve,
wanting some magic,
Staring down from his portal
with a hateful Eggy scowl
At any sorcerer or druid
that had a horned owl.
For he knew every man down
in Blackmoor beneath
Was busy now, hanging their swords
in their sheaths.
“And they’re lighting their orbs!”
he snarled with a sneer.
Tomorrow is Solstice! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled,
with his tentacles nervously twitching,
“I MUST find a way
to end all that’s bewitching!”
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the Halflings and Gnomes
Would wake up bright and early.
They’d rush for their tomes!
And then! Oh, the thoughts! Oh, the thoughts!
Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts!
That’s one thing he hated!
Free will and free thoughts!
Then wokan, young and old,
would sit down and they’d learn.
And they’d learn! And they’d learn!
And they’d LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN!
They would start on the flowers,
the earth and the beasts,
Which was something the Egg
couldn’t stand in the least!
And THEN
They’d do something he liked least of all!
Every Blackmoorian, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together,
with Solstice bells ringing.
They’d stand hand-in-hand.
And then all would start singing!
They’d sing! And they’d sing!
AND they’d SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Egg thought
of the Blackmoorian song
The more the Egg thought,
“I must stop this whole thing!
“Why for thousands of years
I’ve put up with it now!
I MUST stop Solstice from coming!
...But HOW?”
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE EGG GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
I know just what to do!”
The Egg Laughed as he spoke
And he quickly made a Cabal hat and cloak.
And he chuckled, and clucked,
“Oh how wonderfully sage!”
“With this coat and this hat,
I’ll look just like a mage!”
“All I need is a noble...”
The Egg looked around.
But since nobles are scarce,
there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Egg...?
No! The Egg simply said,
“If I can’t find a noble, I’ll make one instead!”
So he called one of his thralls.
Then he took some rare jewels
And he made him a crown to trick the poor fools!
-THEN
He loaded some scrolls
And some old empty sacks
Teleporting away
He covered his tracks
Then the Egg said, “Go Forth!”
And the noble made his speech
In front of the ruddy peasants
In the Common speech
All the people were silent. Only wind filled the air.
All the Blackmoorians wanted to know
what the noble would share
When he came to the first house in the square.
“Tomorrow is a work day!,” The false noble hissed
As he yelled at the peasants, shaking his fist.
Then locked up all the mages. Took all their rings.
Took all their wands, and their magical things.
He stopped only once, for a moment or two.
Then continued to yell, threaten, and stew
The Blackmoorians cried their holiday destroyed
Their magick was flung right off into the void.
The Egg slithered and slunk, with a smile and a laugh,
Around all of Blackmoor, he took all the staffs!
Anchors of Quall! Goggles of Night!
All the Ioun Stones of Pearly White!
And he devoured them all. Then the Egg, with no pity,
Disappeared into the blackness! Away from the cities.
Then he slunk to the forests. He took the elves’ scrolls!
He took all the water elementals summoned from bowls!
He ate all the robes as quick as a flash.
Why, that Egg even took their quickened healing sash!
Then he stuffed all the magic items in his form with glee.
“And NOW!” grinned the Egg “I will eat up their tree!”
And the Egg grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a loud sound coming from up above.
He turned around fast, and he saw quite a sight!
Hundreds of mages wreathed in magical light.
The Egg had been caught by the Wizard’s Cabal
Who weren’t very happy, not happy at all.
“You’re not a wizard!” the High Spellwise cried,
“Your stealing of magic we shall not abide!”
But, you know, that old Egg was so smart and so slick
He thought up a spell, and he thought it up quick!
“Why, my sweet little magelings,” the fake wizard lied,
“I’m really a Peshwah druid disguised.”
“I’m taking this tree to replant on the Hak,
“Where I ride with my wonderful steed named Malrock.”
And his fib fooled the mages. Then he cast a quick spell
And he disappeared to the plains
where he thought he’d be well.
And when the Cabal left with swollen chests preened,
The Egg went to gobble a demonic fiend!”
Then the last thing he took
Was the egg of a dragon.
Then he took a quick break and relaxed in a wagon.
When he noticed that something had blocked out the sun!
And oh how ferocious
Was the dragon in flight!
Twas Tsartha the Grey come to set things aright!
Then
Tsartha she raged
Through the day and the night!
Slashing and
Clawing and
Biting that blight!
It was quarter past dawn...
All Blackmoor, still a-bed
All Blackmoor, still a-snooze
When the Egg of Coot said,
“I’m tired of fighting! Take back your egg!
This place isn’t worth my arms or my legs!”
Three thousand feet up!
From the mounts to the barrens,
From the hills, to the Hak, to many deep Cairns!
The winds blew. They gusted!
They blasted and blustered!
That old Egg of Coot he went back to his Isle.
There he waited for strife, and no sign of smiles.
But all that he saw was a bright, golden glow...
The noble had fallen,
Pulled down by the wronged
Straight back down to where he belonged.
And that Egg of Coot saw a frightening thing.
He shuddered as he heard the Solstice bells ring...
The mages used their Solstice magic!
This wasn’t sad! This wasn’t tragic!
It couldn’t be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Blackmoor!
The Egg popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Thonian in Blackmoor, the tall and the small,
Was Willing Without any magic at all!
And that MADE the MAGIC!
IT STILL CAME!
Somehow or other, it was there just the same!
And the Egg, with his tentacles twitching in ire,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How is there fire?”
How is there air and earth elementals!
“How can they have dweomer fundamentals?!”
And he puzzled three decades, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Egg thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Magic,” he thought, “can’t be devoured.
“Maybe Solstice...perhaps...has its own special power?!”
And what happened then...?
Well...in Blackmoor they say
That the great Egg of Coot
Pouted that day!
And for that one day he stopped his conniving
His making of thralls and his undead reviving!
And all of Blackmoor cheered, indeed all of the North!
And they...
...all of them...!
Thanked that Goddess for coming forth!
Written By: Jennifer and Tim Barth
Written for the DA Blackmoor MMRPG...
How the Egg of Coot Stole Christmas
Every Thonian in Blackmoor
Liked Solstice a lot...
But the Egg,
Who lived just North of Blackmoor,
Did NOT!
The Egg hated Solstice!
The whole Solstice season!
Now, please don’t ask why.
No one quite knows the reason.
could be that this creature had no head at all.
could be, perhaps, that he hated his thralls.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that he wanted a magical wall.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His thoughts being tragic,
He stood there on Solstice Eve,
wanting some magic,
Staring down from his portal
with a hateful Eggy scowl
At any sorcerer or druid
that had a horned owl.
For he knew every man down
in Blackmoor beneath
Was busy now, hanging their swords
in their sheaths.
“And they’re lighting their orbs!”
he snarled with a sneer.
Tomorrow is Solstice! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled,
with his tentacles nervously twitching,
“I MUST find a way
to end all that’s bewitching!”
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the Halflings and Gnomes
Would wake up bright and early.
They’d rush for their tomes!
And then! Oh, the thoughts! Oh, the thoughts!
Thoughts! Thoughts! Thoughts!
That’s one thing he hated!
Free will and free thoughts!
Then wokan, young and old,
would sit down and they’d learn.
And they’d learn! And they’d learn!
And they’d LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN!
They would start on the flowers,
the earth and the beasts,
Which was something the Egg
couldn’t stand in the least!
And THEN
They’d do something he liked least of all!
Every Blackmoorian, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together,
with Solstice bells ringing.
They’d stand hand-in-hand.
And then all would start singing!
They’d sing! And they’d sing!
AND they’d SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Egg thought
of the Blackmoorian song
The more the Egg thought,
“I must stop this whole thing!
“Why for thousands of years
I’ve put up with it now!
I MUST stop Solstice from coming!
...But HOW?”
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE EGG GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
I know just what to do!”
The Egg Laughed as he spoke
And he quickly made a Cabal hat and cloak.
And he chuckled, and clucked,
“Oh how wonderfully sage!”
“With this coat and this hat,
I’ll look just like a mage!”
“All I need is a noble...”
The Egg looked around.
But since nobles are scarce,
there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Egg...?
No! The Egg simply said,
“If I can’t find a noble, I’ll make one instead!”
So he called one of his thralls.
Then he took some rare jewels
And he made him a crown to trick the poor fools!
-THEN
He loaded some scrolls
And some old empty sacks
Teleporting away
He covered his tracks
Then the Egg said, “Go Forth!”
And the noble made his speech
In front of the ruddy peasants
In the Common speech
All the people were silent. Only wind filled the air.
All the Blackmoorians wanted to know
what the noble would share
When he came to the first house in the square.
“Tomorrow is a work day!,” The false noble hissed
As he yelled at the peasants, shaking his fist.
Then locked up all the mages. Took all their rings.
Took all their wands, and their magical things.
He stopped only once, for a moment or two.
Then continued to yell, threaten, and stew
The Blackmoorians cried their holiday destroyed
Their magick was flung right off into the void.
The Egg slithered and slunk, with a smile and a laugh,
Around all of Blackmoor, he took all the staffs!
Anchors of Quall! Goggles of Night!
All the Ioun Stones of Pearly White!
And he devoured them all. Then the Egg, with no pity,
Disappeared into the blackness! Away from the cities.
Then he slunk to the forests. He took the elves’ scrolls!
He took all the water elementals summoned from bowls!
He ate all the robes as quick as a flash.
Why, that Egg even took their quickened healing sash!
Then he stuffed all the magic items in his form with glee.
“And NOW!” grinned the Egg “I will eat up their tree!”
And the Egg grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a loud sound coming from up above.
He turned around fast, and he saw quite a sight!
Hundreds of mages wreathed in magical light.
The Egg had been caught by the Wizard’s Cabal
Who weren’t very happy, not happy at all.
“You’re not a wizard!” the High Spellwise cried,
“Your stealing of magic we shall not abide!”
But, you know, that old Egg was so smart and so slick
He thought up a spell, and he thought it up quick!
“Why, my sweet little magelings,” the fake wizard lied,
“I’m really a Peshwah druid disguised.”
“I’m taking this tree to replant on the Hak,
“Where I ride with my wonderful steed named Malrock.”
And his fib fooled the mages. Then he cast a quick spell
And he disappeared to the plains
where he thought he’d be well.
And when the Cabal left with swollen chests preened,
The Egg went to gobble a demonic fiend!”
Then the last thing he took
Was the egg of a dragon.
Then he took a quick break and relaxed in a wagon.
When he noticed that something had blocked out the sun!
And oh how ferocious
Was the dragon in flight!
Twas Tsartha the Grey come to set things aright!
Then
Tsartha she raged
Through the day and the night!
Slashing and
Clawing and
Biting that blight!
It was quarter past dawn...
All Blackmoor, still a-bed
All Blackmoor, still a-snooze
When the Egg of Coot said,
“I’m tired of fighting! Take back your egg!
This place isn’t worth my arms or my legs!”
Three thousand feet up!
From the mounts to the barrens,
From the hills, to the Hak, to many deep Cairns!
The winds blew. They gusted!
They blasted and blustered!
That old Egg of Coot he went back to his Isle.
There he waited for strife, and no sign of smiles.
But all that he saw was a bright, golden glow...
The noble had fallen,
Pulled down by the wronged
Straight back down to where he belonged.
And that Egg of Coot saw a frightening thing.
He shuddered as he heard the Solstice bells ring...
The mages used their Solstice magic!
This wasn’t sad! This wasn’t tragic!
It couldn’t be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Blackmoor!
The Egg popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Thonian in Blackmoor, the tall and the small,
Was Willing Without any magic at all!
And that MADE the MAGIC!
IT STILL CAME!
Somehow or other, it was there just the same!
And the Egg, with his tentacles twitching in ire,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How is there fire?”
How is there air and earth elementals!
“How can they have dweomer fundamentals?!”
And he puzzled three decades, `till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Egg thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Magic,” he thought, “can’t be devoured.
“Maybe Solstice...perhaps...has its own special power?!”
And what happened then...?
Well...in Blackmoor they say
That the great Egg of Coot
Pouted that day!
And for that one day he stopped his conniving
His making of thralls and his undead reviving!
And all of Blackmoor cheered, indeed all of the North!
And they...
...all of them...!
Thanked that Goddess for coming forth!
Written By: Jennifer and Tim Barth