(no subject)
It's been a while since I've updated on here, but I think I need to start again. I have a lot of pent-up emotions that need let out.
Tonight is one of those nights where all the negative thoughts that plague you rise up to the surface and bubble over. Nothing in particular set me off tonight, but I find myself alone in my room crying and reflecting on the way my life is progressing at the moment.
I am frustrated. With life. I haven't heard back from my interview, so I've given up on that teaching position. It's so hard to KNOW what you want to do with your life and be qualified to do it, and then not be able to fulfill this goal. In the meantime, I've been thrust into a job that is completely overwhelming me. It was definitely a "sink or swim" situation and I'm afraid I'm drowning. I put long hours in and still feel like I've made no progress. I have a co-worker who belittles me to my face. I have other co-workers and a boss who keeps piling more and more onto my plate and I'm not sure I can keep up. There has to be a breaking point.
And I basically have no social life now. I interact with people at work and then come home and am alone. I have friends of course, but I never get to see them and I never go out and have fun anymore. And I have zero romantic prospects. None. I'm still holding on to my romanticized vision of love, but I can feel the poison from all my past experiences beginning to seep in.
I am wandering in the woods and I've lost my way.
Tonight is one of those nights where all the negative thoughts that plague you rise up to the surface and bubble over. Nothing in particular set me off tonight, but I find myself alone in my room crying and reflecting on the way my life is progressing at the moment.
I am frustrated. With life. I haven't heard back from my interview, so I've given up on that teaching position. It's so hard to KNOW what you want to do with your life and be qualified to do it, and then not be able to fulfill this goal. In the meantime, I've been thrust into a job that is completely overwhelming me. It was definitely a "sink or swim" situation and I'm afraid I'm drowning. I put long hours in and still feel like I've made no progress. I have a co-worker who belittles me to my face. I have other co-workers and a boss who keeps piling more and more onto my plate and I'm not sure I can keep up. There has to be a breaking point.
And I basically have no social life now. I interact with people at work and then come home and am alone. I have friends of course, but I never get to see them and I never go out and have fun anymore. And I have zero romantic prospects. None. I'm still holding on to my romanticized vision of love, but I can feel the poison from all my past experiences beginning to seep in.
I am wandering in the woods and I've lost my way.