Rose and the Beach
Rose stared harder as if the TARDIS would screech its way back to the spot on the beach. She sighed loudly in a huff. From her seat on the sand, she tried to imagine a life a little different: the universe open to her, the Doctor’s hand in her, and the opportunity to stand up for what’s right.
And this isn’t right, she told herself. Her heart was in shock, and would take a long time to fathom the great loss of that better life. Once the Doctor had asked her to live a fantastic life-- just live for the moment and grow old with people who love you near. Only thing was, the one she loved was in another universe. How could she live life without that?
And here she was again. Same beach, for God’s sake! She wanted to be a good little Rose and take his “no” for an answer, but she felt overwhelming anger.
The last time had been on her terms. The walls closed again in her mind; she vanished and pounded the white surface, screamed for the days of wonder and love.
That stupid kiss had a consequence, taking time and lending a misunderstanding that she was in love with this humanoid. Fascinated at first, Rose had taken one eye from her real desire and lost it in a whir of haze and blue. One moment that had stranded her for good.
The kiss had been good. She kept her hold on the human man, searching for the connection that would keep her heart in this universe, and she had almost believed this would work. But just after their lips met Rose knew she couldn’t accept this fate.
He’d told her what she wanted to hear, but the whisper was only from his memory, not a response to his feeling. What she needed was the real Doctor, the Time Lord standing next to her, the man she’d made better.
“Doctor,” she whispered. No, he couldn’t hear her. He couldn’t read her thoughts. He never could discern what others really wanted, and he sure as hell never let her decide for herself.
Now she sat on the beach, broken and inflamed. Waves and tides pulled her devastation and pushed her to realization.
Rose didn’t want this fantastic life.
And this isn’t right, she told herself. Her heart was in shock, and would take a long time to fathom the great loss of that better life. Once the Doctor had asked her to live a fantastic life-- just live for the moment and grow old with people who love you near. Only thing was, the one she loved was in another universe. How could she live life without that?
And here she was again. Same beach, for God’s sake! She wanted to be a good little Rose and take his “no” for an answer, but she felt overwhelming anger.
The last time had been on her terms. The walls closed again in her mind; she vanished and pounded the white surface, screamed for the days of wonder and love.
That stupid kiss had a consequence, taking time and lending a misunderstanding that she was in love with this humanoid. Fascinated at first, Rose had taken one eye from her real desire and lost it in a whir of haze and blue. One moment that had stranded her for good.
The kiss had been good. She kept her hold on the human man, searching for the connection that would keep her heart in this universe, and she had almost believed this would work. But just after their lips met Rose knew she couldn’t accept this fate.
He’d told her what she wanted to hear, but the whisper was only from his memory, not a response to his feeling. What she needed was the real Doctor, the Time Lord standing next to her, the man she’d made better.
“Doctor,” she whispered. No, he couldn’t hear her. He couldn’t read her thoughts. He never could discern what others really wanted, and he sure as hell never let her decide for herself.
Now she sat on the beach, broken and inflamed. Waves and tides pulled her devastation and pushed her to realization.
Rose didn’t want this fantastic life.