(no subject)
Yes I am wasted. ANd yes I know you wont read this. You, fuck you! I hate what you have done to me. how is this fair? no, I am not blaming you, how could i ever blame you for anything? except that i do blame you... for breaking me. This bitch who claimed to be my friend used to say to me that i was broken, but she had no idea how together i was compared to now. she didnt know how much was still left to break. NOW, yeah, now I might be broken.
So I keep drinking because I keep thinking that it will help me get my mind of of you, but i can never drink enough for that to happen because it only makes me think of you more. And since I'm not allowed to call you when I'm drunk, I wont. I will just cry for days on end and tell myself that it's PMS.
God i fucking HATE you and I only use the word hate because I know how close to LOVE it is. If i didnt love you so desperately i wouldnt be able to say I hate you. in which case i hate you with every fiber of my being and would give anything to hold you right now.
So I keep drinking because I keep thinking that it will help me get my mind of of you, but i can never drink enough for that to happen because it only makes me think of you more. And since I'm not allowed to call you when I'm drunk, I wont. I will just cry for days on end and tell myself that it's PMS.
God i fucking HATE you and I only use the word hate because I know how close to LOVE it is. If i didnt love you so desperately i wouldnt be able to say I hate you. in which case i hate you with every fiber of my being and would give anything to hold you right now.