... 'CAUSE MICKEY LOVES YOU
alright. so if someone were to come up to you and say, "look. i've been designated to cause some sort of harm to you and there are only two methods in which i can go about doing so. option a is giving you a root canal and option b is giving you papercuts all over your body and then pushing you in a kiddy pool filled with rubbing alcohol," choose option b. honestly, i'm pretty sure it will be far less painful than the root canal. just the name "root canal" sounds foul and nasty and just superfuckingawful. if a root canal were a person it would probably be that dirty, smelly kid that no one ever wanted to sit next to on field trips because he would burp up cool ranch doritos and blow that shit in your face. that kid who knew the raunchiest jokes and always tried to flash you with his wee-wee. just like this kid, root canals will make you cry. just like this kid, root canals are bad news. bad, bad news.