[Private]
Huh.
I went to see the doctor today, another head cold. He... wasn't very happy to see me back again. I've been down there a lot lately. Always headaches and being sick. I thought it was just a funny period or something... Anyway he started asking me a load of questions and suddenly I was blurting out how much I hate my mother and how weird things are amongst my friends, how worried I am about everyone (and I think, perhaps, I may have mentioned Biyomon, but he made no comment - he probably thinks I'm just referring to a friend) and how I actually contemplated walking out in front of a car the other day, just to see if it would hurt that bad.
Um, yeah.
He's put me on antidepressants. Nothing heavy, but all the same... I guess it kind of explains a lot. He said he wants me to go talk to someone too, he doesn't want it getting worse or something. I don't really remember, it's a bit of a scary thought to be honest about it. He even signed me off work and university for two weeks. I don't see how this is going to help lower my stress; I mean, I'll be two weeks behind on my coursework, how is that supposed to destress me? And I'm not even going into how worried I am about these damn ports! I'm scared something bad is going to happen if Kou and Miya fiddle with them too much...
I don't know whether or not to tell anyone. I mean, I don't have to, but I think I'd feel kind of bad not telling my parents or Jyou (especially as he may see them lying around if I'm clumsy).
...I won't tell anyone yet. I mean, it'll probably just make someone worry (oh my god, what would Jyou be like? He's paranoid enough as it is!) and no one needs that right now.
...Someone wake me up when this is all over.
I went to see the doctor today, another head cold. He... wasn't very happy to see me back again. I've been down there a lot lately. Always headaches and being sick. I thought it was just a funny period or something... Anyway he started asking me a load of questions and suddenly I was blurting out how much I hate my mother and how weird things are amongst my friends, how worried I am about everyone (and I think, perhaps, I may have mentioned Biyomon, but he made no comment - he probably thinks I'm just referring to a friend) and how I actually contemplated walking out in front of a car the other day, just to see if it would hurt that bad.
Um, yeah.
He's put me on antidepressants. Nothing heavy, but all the same... I guess it kind of explains a lot. He said he wants me to go talk to someone too, he doesn't want it getting worse or something. I don't really remember, it's a bit of a scary thought to be honest about it. He even signed me off work and university for two weeks. I don't see how this is going to help lower my stress; I mean, I'll be two weeks behind on my coursework, how is that supposed to destress me? And I'm not even going into how worried I am about these damn ports! I'm scared something bad is going to happen if Kou and Miya fiddle with them too much...
I don't know whether or not to tell anyone. I mean, I don't have to, but I think I'd feel kind of bad not telling my parents or Jyou (especially as he may see them lying around if I'm clumsy).
...I won't tell anyone yet. I mean, it'll probably just make someone worry (oh my god, what would Jyou be like? He's paranoid enough as it is!) and no one needs that right now.
...Someone wake me up when this is all over.