The Lube Song
Starfleet Drinking Song
What’s the use of wearing Red Shirts?
Toting phasers, you’re just dead shirts
Blue or Gold, better said shirts
When you’re beaming down
What's the use of shirts of satin?
Studs that always get forgott’n
State affairs are simply rott’n
Better far is lube
Lube’s the stuff to show men
Lube to scare your yeomen
Squeeze it out, spread it about
And rub it on your prick or your asshol’n
Youthful Ensigns won’t get hit on
Wi-ith-out lube to let it fit in
Make sure that there’s no longer shit in
When you’re go-in’ down
Captain came across a ‘channel’
All dressed up in bright blue flannel
Half a pint of lube, young man'll
Ease the passage in
Doctor save your stitches
Exams for crew in britches
We have lube to help us, which is
What’s the use of wearing Red Shirts?
Toting phasers, you’re just dead shirts
Blue or Gold, better said shirts
When you’re beaming down
What's the use of shirts of satin?
Studs that always get forgott’n
State affairs are simply rott’n
Better far is lube
Lube’s the stuff to show men
Lube to scare your yeomen
Squeeze it out, spread it about
And rub it on your prick or your asshol’n
Youthful Ensigns won’t get hit on
Wi-ith-out lube to let it fit in
Make sure that there’s no longer shit in
When you’re go-in’ down
Captain came across a ‘channel’
All dressed up in bright blue flannel
Half a pint of lube, young man'll
Ease the passage in
Doctor save your stitches
Exams for crew in britches
We have lube to help us, which is