High Heels
Part One
“Well how about this for accommodation!”
Dr Leonard McCoy whistled appreciatively as he cast his gaze over the opulent splendour of the suite of rooms which he, the Enterprise’s First Officer and its captain had been ushered into.
“The Detholatii certainly do have style,” remarked Jim as he dropped onto the couch biting into a fruit sample which he had grabbed from a display on the nearby table.
“I wonder where they have located Lieutenant Uhura.”
Spock glanced around the room; there had been something disconcerting about the planet that he had not yet been able place into a logical framework. The Captain would have laughed if he had articulated his thoughts accusing him of developing an intuition, nevertheless he was uneasy.
“This is a diplomatic mission may I remind you,” huffed McCoy, misinterpreting as usual.
“I am merely concerned that the Lieutenant has not had the opportunity to update us on the treaty negotiations”
“I must admit it is a little difficult dealing with the preference of out hosts when it comes to the gender of the negotiator, but it’s the treaty that matters I suppose,” commented Kirk echoing Spock’s misgivings.
“Well I don’t know about you two but I am going to use the facilities,” declared McCoy heading for the bathroom
A few seconds later the doorless bathroom resonated to the sound of southern expletives.
“What in tarnation….!.”
Kirk and Spock followed the voice finding themselves in the largest bathroom they had ever seen and the sight of the CMO pissing into a urinal bathed in blue light and from which clouds of vapour were issuing.
“Dry ice,” commented Spock.
“Ged-outa- here!” yelled the doctor.
Spock turned and headed back into the living room. He wondered if he should have corrected the doctor’s supposition that his concern regarding Lt Uhura’s location was personal; In fact they had ceased to be intimate some months ago. It was his observation of their hosts that was the cause for concern. He was surprised that the doctor and captain had not noticed the situation for themselves. There had been a distinct absence of men in the government offices, those he had noticed in the public areas of the city had been oddly attired, bare chested and wearing an odd harness affair that reminded him of the attire of the Roman gladiators of his crewmates’ home planet
The door opened and one of the women who had shown them to their accommodation entered carrying three boxes.
“You will prepare yourselves for selection.”
It was not a request.
“What do you mean prepare ourselves?” demanded Kirk rushing towards the door. The next thing he knew was that he was lying flat on his back, McCoy scanning him with a concerned look on his face.
“Fascinating, it appears that we are being held captive.”
“Yah don’t say,” remarked McCoy with his usual sarcasm.
“What happened?”
“You got hit by lightning.”
“Those staff thingies?”
Spock walked over to the boxes. “I suggest that we, ‘Prepare ourselves for selection,’ unless of course you desire a repeat of your recent experience.”
The boxes contained similar harnesses to the ones they had seen the male Detholatii wearing earlier. They left little to the imagination. Their quarters must have been under observation for as soon as they had donned the harnesses the guards reappeared with the Detholatii head of state and Uhura.
“Lieutenant, am I glad to see you!”
“Quiet insolent one!” ordered the attendant, pointing his rod at Kirk’s gonads.
“The Federation has been very generous, “commented the head of state to Uhura, I hope that our accommodation for your gift meets with your approval.”
“I thank you for allowing me to verify my charges are being well cared for, I hope that they will perform well. I can return to my ship to complete the documentation, if I could be escorted to your transporter area” commented Uhura, her voice sounded confident but her eyes told a different story.
After Uhura exited the Head of State perused her ‘Gifts.’
“Send that one to my sanctuary, he is well endowed and will perform well.” The Head of state pointed at Spock who was led from the chamber.
Jim paced the floor following Spock’s removal from the room. They were in trouble. Trying to exit was out of the question, overpowering their captors was a non-starter. He hoped that Spock would have the opportunity to try to escape, in frustration he sat down on the couch the comfort of which he had enjoyed only an hour ago.
“First mission and we end up in a harem,” groused McCoy. “We could be in the academy training video on how NOT to establish first contact.”
“Wonder if Vulcans can perform on demand?”
“Spock!”
“That is my name, captain.”
The two men leapt up as Spock entered, though they recognised him only by his voice as he was now dressed in the characteristic garb of a female Detholatii.
“How did you manage to escape?”
“I gave our hostess what I believe you refer to as a, ‘Night to remember.” She is sleeping.”
McCoy’s eyebrows disappeared into his ragged hairline. “Ah figur’d that ther’d be missions where one of us would be takin’ it for the Federation, but ah never figur’d that Spock would be first in line.”
“I have obtained our communication devices, however the structure of the palace is heavy in tritanium alloy, he cannot beam us out from the location, we must locate ourselves in an open area.”
All three men pulled the female clothing on over the revealing attire of the male Detholatii. Spock raised his brows disapprovingly as he observed the captain and doctor wobbling around in the elevated shoes that he had snatched from the head of state’s wardrobe. He had made a grave miscalculation there was no way that his colleagues could escape in female clothing. Fortunately the Captain and doctor had come to the same conclusion.
“Spack this aint gonna work.” Said McCoy struggling out of the harem pants, his southern accent became annoyingly evident at times of significant emotional stress, Spock noted.
“If we are to safely exit this facility may I suggest you remove your clothing.” and follow me”
“I’m not going anywhere in this harness.”
“No matter doctor, I am sure that the head of state will enjoy your company.”
That was enough to bring McCoy to his senses; he reluctantly followed Spock and Kirk towards the door.
“Why have you not changed Spock?” asked Jim, curious as to Spock’s plans. The Vulcan was unrecognisable covered from head to foot in the purdah like coverings of the palace guards.
“Unaccompanied males are unlikely to be able to move very far within the complex unless accompanied by a female,” remarked Spock as he led the way into the corridor area towards an external door.
“How is he managing?” whispered Jim pointing at Spock who sashayed confidently before them despite the precarious height of the heels on his footwear.
“I do not know, but I like it!” Bones eyed Spock’s posterior appreciatively.
“Bones!”
As they rounded the corner another of the Chief Minister’s guards appeared.
“Where is the large eared Federatii?”
“Her Excellency has worn him out, he rests still. Though she was pleased with his stamina, his smell was disconcerting and his surface fur an annoyance, I am instructed to take these new additions for preparation.”
“It is deserved!” laughed the guard. “That one was most unruly earlier today, he will not be quite so jovial after preparation, though he will be more attractive.” She pointed to Kirk’s crotch in an obviously lascivious manner.
“We must take our leave; the Chief Minister does not like to be kept waiting.”
The trio traversed the courtyard, it was fortunate that the Detholatii female vocal pitch was low otherwise Spock’s voice would have given them away. It was also fortunate that he had actually chosen to have his universal translator modulated for the Detholatii language.
“Preparation,” hissed McCoy, “What the hell is that?”
Spock pointed towards a small door on the far side of the courtyard. Two males were exiting, their gait a little slow. One look at their groins revealed all, or rather it was what it didn’t reveal that made the Captain and CMO wince.”
“You cannot be serious!” squealed a horrified McCoy.
“Why doctor, as you are so fond of saying, ‘This will not hurt at all’”
“No way! Absolutely no way.”
At that moment the characteristic buzzing and tingle of the transporter beam removed them from the palace grounds.
“Scotty, Keenser! Am I glad to see you.” yelled McCoy.
Keenser’s beedy black eyes were almost popping out on stalks as the terrible trio materialised.
Uhura and the Chief Minister’s aide entered the transporter room. The aide was visibly shocked to see the two men. Captain James T. Kirk drew himself up, attempting to create a commanding presence despite the detracting effect of his revealing attire.
“It seems that the Detholatii government neglected to inform us about the split nature of your society. I am afraid that your acceptance of our ‘gift’ has demonstrated that you have not yet reached the standards required of Federation members. We are however authorised to discuss trade agreements should your ministers consider this advantageous.”
Kirk was sure that hubris would prevent further dialogue; the last thing he wanted was to spend any more time than necessary orbiting Detholatii.
“I assume that this individual was accidentally beamed aboard,” commented the Aide having found her tongue and indicating that the Detholatii ‘female’ beside Kirk mount the transporter pad with her.
“On the contrary, she has asked for political asylum.” Kirk stated, “Mr Scott I am sure that the Detholatii Chief Minister will be requiring a report, let us not further delay its provision.
“Doctor McCoy, please take our Detholatii friend for the necessary ‘examinations’ I am going to change.”
By this time Keenser had come to his senses and located two sheets for the Captain and doctor to cover their modesty. Uhura watched as McCoy and his female companion exited.
“How are we going to locate Mr Spock?” asked Uhura, “Was he not held with you?”
Purposely ignoring her Kirk glanced after the retreating doctor and his charge.
“Nice hips!” he commented.
“What did you promise her to gain your freedom!” Uhura asked, irritated by his lack of concern as to Spock’s wereabouts. “Your hand in marriage.”
“Nah, cost me more than that, she wanted to be my right hand man.”
“What!”
“Yeh, had to promise her Spock’s job, nothing else would work.”
Scotty, understanding male humour was quicker off the mark than Nyota.
“Nay that isna…Is it?”
“Got it in one Scotty!”
The command team sat around the briefing table reviewing the Detholatii mission. They were a young crew, wet behind the ears, and Captain James T Kirk was conscious of their need to accrue knowledge and experience fast. Debriefing sessions were an ideal forum to explore the highs and lows of a mission. They had been through the official report and were taking a break before the routine command review.
“As I said, I didn’t think it would be our Vulcan friend taking one for the team.”
“I am afraid I do not understand this idiom?”
“Oh come on Spock, don’t give me that. You said you gave the chief minister a, “Night to remember” did you not.”
“This is true.”
“Well that’s the same as taking one for the team, painting the town red, doin’ the horizontal tango.”
“You refer to coitus?”
“Damn right I do,” laughed McCoy.
“Then you are under a misapprehension, I did indeed give the chief minister a, “Night to remember,” However it took the form of a metal suggestion following a nerve pinch.”
“Oh,” remarked the doctor somewhat deflated. “However you can’t explain away how you managed to become such a skilled drag artiste, you must have been practicing for a long time.”
“Since I was fourteen point three five solar years.”
McCoy’s coffee, which he inadvertently inhaled at that point, was coughed violently over the table.
“There is a logical explanation for everything; however I believe I have shocked you too much for one day doctor.” Spock exited the briefing room.
“Damn pointy eared bastard, he did that deliberately, He knows I will be festering for days to hear his so called explanation.
McCoy festered
He festered for a whole week until the next staff briefing when he could stand it no longer.
“Jim this is torture, that pointy eared hobgoblin is playing us and you’re letting him.”
Jim’s failure to respond further annoyed the doctor. “Come on stop pretending that you aren’t a tad curious to hear his so called logical explanation? “
“Nah Bones, but I am curious as to how long it takes you to crack.”
Jim did not have to wait long McCoy was itching for that explanation. By the end of the meeting he was rocking on his heels, impatient for the junior members of the command team to exit so he could corner the Vulcan.”
“Now not so fast Mister Spock, as my Mammy would have said you got some ‘splainin’ to do.”
“It is a simple matter, requiring the application of elementary physics and geometry.”
“Which you have been practicing since your teenage years. “
“Not practicing, however it was a skill I acquired during my fourteenth year, using Terran calendar calculations, the result of youthful indiscretion.”
“You were experimenting?”
“If by that comment you surmise a particular sexual orientation no; that is not considered an indiscretion in Vulcan society.”
“Then what does constitute an indiscretion in Vulcan society?”
“In this case disorganisation. I was accompanying my parents on a diplomatic mission and in my excitement at the privilege, in itself a failing. I did not ensure the purchase of new formal footwear. The result was that the formal robes, necessary for diplomatic receptions dragged on the floor. My father would have noticed this, and I would have shamed him. The only route available to avoid such opprobrium was to use an alternative source of footwear, allowing clearance from the floor.”
“So you did what exactly.”
“It was fortunate that my hybrid physiology had delayed the hormonal growth spurt, thus I was able to utilise my mother’s footwear. It was of course difficult to balance initially, but after observing the female Terrans working in the embassy I was able to calculate the physical and mathematical principles required to perambulate without succumbing to gravitational forces.”
“You mean you spent the time ogling space girls.”
“Crudely put but essentially correct.”
“And Sarek never found out?”
“Unfortunately that was not the case; a member of the paparazzi obtained an image of the footwear at one of the receptions. My father was bothered little by the headlines; however he was most displeased that I had displayed a lack of logic in my failure to request that his staff replicate the necessary foot-covering.”
“And the headlines”
“I am sure that you do not need me to tell you what you have already intimated yourself. I trust that your puerile curiosity has now been satiated, Dr McCoy.”
Dr McCoy exited the briefing room in a huff. If he had been expecting salacious revelations he had been disappointed. Spock was right the explanation had been perfectly logical. Though the thought of Spock watching the posteriors of Terran females for the purposes of mimicking their gait was he admitted a little amusing.
Jim, however was a little more discerning.
“I am intrigued Spock, that Vulcan society does not take issue with same sex relationships, certainly on Earth there are those who would consider a non reproductive relationship illogical from the biological standpoint.”
“An erroneous assumption, same sex relationships are not as frequent as to alter the population reproductive rate, furthermore current cloning and surrogacy techniques remove such a consideration. Moreover for a telepathic race the primary issue is compatibility of mind not gender.”
“Still, wasn’t it an irritation that the media were wrong?”
To Jim’s surprise, Spock’s response was initially non-verbal; the man scanned him, or had he?Surely he was mistaken.
“Were they?”
He was not mistaken, but before Kirk could clarify Spock had exited the ready room leaving Kirk to ponder the final comment and its implications and to formulate his response.
It didn’t take long for doctor McCoy’s research to locate the image Spock had described. At the start of the following week’s staff meeting he bounced into the briefing room waving his PADD at Kirk.
“Boy have I a revelation for you, Jim-boy,” the doctor was bouncing on his heels like a teenage girl with a juicy titbit of gossip. He pushed the pad across the desk to Kirk
“Is He Gay?”
Vulcan ambassador’s son prefers High Heels to standard footwear!
To McCoy’s surprise, Jim Kirk leaded nonchalantly across the shoulder of his seated first officer and pushed the button to delete the image.
“Bones, tell me something I don’t know.”
“Well how about this for accommodation!”
Dr Leonard McCoy whistled appreciatively as he cast his gaze over the opulent splendour of the suite of rooms which he, the Enterprise’s First Officer and its captain had been ushered into.
“The Detholatii certainly do have style,” remarked Jim as he dropped onto the couch biting into a fruit sample which he had grabbed from a display on the nearby table.
“I wonder where they have located Lieutenant Uhura.”
Spock glanced around the room; there had been something disconcerting about the planet that he had not yet been able place into a logical framework. The Captain would have laughed if he had articulated his thoughts accusing him of developing an intuition, nevertheless he was uneasy.
“This is a diplomatic mission may I remind you,” huffed McCoy, misinterpreting as usual.
“I am merely concerned that the Lieutenant has not had the opportunity to update us on the treaty negotiations”
“I must admit it is a little difficult dealing with the preference of out hosts when it comes to the gender of the negotiator, but it’s the treaty that matters I suppose,” commented Kirk echoing Spock’s misgivings.
“Well I don’t know about you two but I am going to use the facilities,” declared McCoy heading for the bathroom
A few seconds later the doorless bathroom resonated to the sound of southern expletives.
“What in tarnation….!.”
Kirk and Spock followed the voice finding themselves in the largest bathroom they had ever seen and the sight of the CMO pissing into a urinal bathed in blue light and from which clouds of vapour were issuing.
“Dry ice,” commented Spock.
“Ged-outa- here!” yelled the doctor.
Spock turned and headed back into the living room. He wondered if he should have corrected the doctor’s supposition that his concern regarding Lt Uhura’s location was personal; In fact they had ceased to be intimate some months ago. It was his observation of their hosts that was the cause for concern. He was surprised that the doctor and captain had not noticed the situation for themselves. There had been a distinct absence of men in the government offices, those he had noticed in the public areas of the city had been oddly attired, bare chested and wearing an odd harness affair that reminded him of the attire of the Roman gladiators of his crewmates’ home planet
The door opened and one of the women who had shown them to their accommodation entered carrying three boxes.
“You will prepare yourselves for selection.”
It was not a request.
“What do you mean prepare ourselves?” demanded Kirk rushing towards the door. The next thing he knew was that he was lying flat on his back, McCoy scanning him with a concerned look on his face.
“Fascinating, it appears that we are being held captive.”
“Yah don’t say,” remarked McCoy with his usual sarcasm.
“What happened?”
“You got hit by lightning.”
“Those staff thingies?”
Spock walked over to the boxes. “I suggest that we, ‘Prepare ourselves for selection,’ unless of course you desire a repeat of your recent experience.”
The boxes contained similar harnesses to the ones they had seen the male Detholatii wearing earlier. They left little to the imagination. Their quarters must have been under observation for as soon as they had donned the harnesses the guards reappeared with the Detholatii head of state and Uhura.
“Lieutenant, am I glad to see you!”
“Quiet insolent one!” ordered the attendant, pointing his rod at Kirk’s gonads.
“The Federation has been very generous, “commented the head of state to Uhura, I hope that our accommodation for your gift meets with your approval.”
“I thank you for allowing me to verify my charges are being well cared for, I hope that they will perform well. I can return to my ship to complete the documentation, if I could be escorted to your transporter area” commented Uhura, her voice sounded confident but her eyes told a different story.
After Uhura exited the Head of State perused her ‘Gifts.’
“Send that one to my sanctuary, he is well endowed and will perform well.” The Head of state pointed at Spock who was led from the chamber.
Jim paced the floor following Spock’s removal from the room. They were in trouble. Trying to exit was out of the question, overpowering their captors was a non-starter. He hoped that Spock would have the opportunity to try to escape, in frustration he sat down on the couch the comfort of which he had enjoyed only an hour ago.
“First mission and we end up in a harem,” groused McCoy. “We could be in the academy training video on how NOT to establish first contact.”
“Wonder if Vulcans can perform on demand?”
“Spock!”
“That is my name, captain.”
The two men leapt up as Spock entered, though they recognised him only by his voice as he was now dressed in the characteristic garb of a female Detholatii.
“How did you manage to escape?”
“I gave our hostess what I believe you refer to as a, ‘Night to remember.” She is sleeping.”
McCoy’s eyebrows disappeared into his ragged hairline. “Ah figur’d that ther’d be missions where one of us would be takin’ it for the Federation, but ah never figur’d that Spock would be first in line.”
“I have obtained our communication devices, however the structure of the palace is heavy in tritanium alloy, he cannot beam us out from the location, we must locate ourselves in an open area.”
All three men pulled the female clothing on over the revealing attire of the male Detholatii. Spock raised his brows disapprovingly as he observed the captain and doctor wobbling around in the elevated shoes that he had snatched from the head of state’s wardrobe. He had made a grave miscalculation there was no way that his colleagues could escape in female clothing. Fortunately the Captain and doctor had come to the same conclusion.
“Spack this aint gonna work.” Said McCoy struggling out of the harem pants, his southern accent became annoyingly evident at times of significant emotional stress, Spock noted.
“If we are to safely exit this facility may I suggest you remove your clothing.” and follow me”
“I’m not going anywhere in this harness.”
“No matter doctor, I am sure that the head of state will enjoy your company.”
That was enough to bring McCoy to his senses; he reluctantly followed Spock and Kirk towards the door.
“Why have you not changed Spock?” asked Jim, curious as to Spock’s plans. The Vulcan was unrecognisable covered from head to foot in the purdah like coverings of the palace guards.
“Unaccompanied males are unlikely to be able to move very far within the complex unless accompanied by a female,” remarked Spock as he led the way into the corridor area towards an external door.
“How is he managing?” whispered Jim pointing at Spock who sashayed confidently before them despite the precarious height of the heels on his footwear.
“I do not know, but I like it!” Bones eyed Spock’s posterior appreciatively.
“Bones!”
As they rounded the corner another of the Chief Minister’s guards appeared.
“Where is the large eared Federatii?”
“Her Excellency has worn him out, he rests still. Though she was pleased with his stamina, his smell was disconcerting and his surface fur an annoyance, I am instructed to take these new additions for preparation.”
“It is deserved!” laughed the guard. “That one was most unruly earlier today, he will not be quite so jovial after preparation, though he will be more attractive.” She pointed to Kirk’s crotch in an obviously lascivious manner.
“We must take our leave; the Chief Minister does not like to be kept waiting.”
The trio traversed the courtyard, it was fortunate that the Detholatii female vocal pitch was low otherwise Spock’s voice would have given them away. It was also fortunate that he had actually chosen to have his universal translator modulated for the Detholatii language.
“Preparation,” hissed McCoy, “What the hell is that?”
Spock pointed towards a small door on the far side of the courtyard. Two males were exiting, their gait a little slow. One look at their groins revealed all, or rather it was what it didn’t reveal that made the Captain and CMO wince.”
“You cannot be serious!” squealed a horrified McCoy.
“Why doctor, as you are so fond of saying, ‘This will not hurt at all’”
“No way! Absolutely no way.”
At that moment the characteristic buzzing and tingle of the transporter beam removed them from the palace grounds.
“Scotty, Keenser! Am I glad to see you.” yelled McCoy.
Keenser’s beedy black eyes were almost popping out on stalks as the terrible trio materialised.
Uhura and the Chief Minister’s aide entered the transporter room. The aide was visibly shocked to see the two men. Captain James T. Kirk drew himself up, attempting to create a commanding presence despite the detracting effect of his revealing attire.
“It seems that the Detholatii government neglected to inform us about the split nature of your society. I am afraid that your acceptance of our ‘gift’ has demonstrated that you have not yet reached the standards required of Federation members. We are however authorised to discuss trade agreements should your ministers consider this advantageous.”
Kirk was sure that hubris would prevent further dialogue; the last thing he wanted was to spend any more time than necessary orbiting Detholatii.
“I assume that this individual was accidentally beamed aboard,” commented the Aide having found her tongue and indicating that the Detholatii ‘female’ beside Kirk mount the transporter pad with her.
“On the contrary, she has asked for political asylum.” Kirk stated, “Mr Scott I am sure that the Detholatii Chief Minister will be requiring a report, let us not further delay its provision.
“Doctor McCoy, please take our Detholatii friend for the necessary ‘examinations’ I am going to change.”
By this time Keenser had come to his senses and located two sheets for the Captain and doctor to cover their modesty. Uhura watched as McCoy and his female companion exited.
“How are we going to locate Mr Spock?” asked Uhura, “Was he not held with you?”
Purposely ignoring her Kirk glanced after the retreating doctor and his charge.
“Nice hips!” he commented.
“What did you promise her to gain your freedom!” Uhura asked, irritated by his lack of concern as to Spock’s wereabouts. “Your hand in marriage.”
“Nah, cost me more than that, she wanted to be my right hand man.”
“What!”
“Yeh, had to promise her Spock’s job, nothing else would work.”
Scotty, understanding male humour was quicker off the mark than Nyota.
“Nay that isna…Is it?”
“Got it in one Scotty!”
The command team sat around the briefing table reviewing the Detholatii mission. They were a young crew, wet behind the ears, and Captain James T Kirk was conscious of their need to accrue knowledge and experience fast. Debriefing sessions were an ideal forum to explore the highs and lows of a mission. They had been through the official report and were taking a break before the routine command review.
“As I said, I didn’t think it would be our Vulcan friend taking one for the team.”
“I am afraid I do not understand this idiom?”
“Oh come on Spock, don’t give me that. You said you gave the chief minister a, “Night to remember” did you not.”
“This is true.”
“Well that’s the same as taking one for the team, painting the town red, doin’ the horizontal tango.”
“You refer to coitus?”
“Damn right I do,” laughed McCoy.
“Then you are under a misapprehension, I did indeed give the chief minister a, “Night to remember,” However it took the form of a metal suggestion following a nerve pinch.”
“Oh,” remarked the doctor somewhat deflated. “However you can’t explain away how you managed to become such a skilled drag artiste, you must have been practicing for a long time.”
“Since I was fourteen point three five solar years.”
McCoy’s coffee, which he inadvertently inhaled at that point, was coughed violently over the table.
“There is a logical explanation for everything; however I believe I have shocked you too much for one day doctor.” Spock exited the briefing room.
“Damn pointy eared bastard, he did that deliberately, He knows I will be festering for days to hear his so called explanation.
McCoy festered
He festered for a whole week until the next staff briefing when he could stand it no longer.
“Jim this is torture, that pointy eared hobgoblin is playing us and you’re letting him.”
Jim’s failure to respond further annoyed the doctor. “Come on stop pretending that you aren’t a tad curious to hear his so called logical explanation? “
“Nah Bones, but I am curious as to how long it takes you to crack.”
Jim did not have to wait long McCoy was itching for that explanation. By the end of the meeting he was rocking on his heels, impatient for the junior members of the command team to exit so he could corner the Vulcan.”
“Now not so fast Mister Spock, as my Mammy would have said you got some ‘splainin’ to do.”
“It is a simple matter, requiring the application of elementary physics and geometry.”
“Which you have been practicing since your teenage years. “
“Not practicing, however it was a skill I acquired during my fourteenth year, using Terran calendar calculations, the result of youthful indiscretion.”
“You were experimenting?”
“If by that comment you surmise a particular sexual orientation no; that is not considered an indiscretion in Vulcan society.”
“Then what does constitute an indiscretion in Vulcan society?”
“In this case disorganisation. I was accompanying my parents on a diplomatic mission and in my excitement at the privilege, in itself a failing. I did not ensure the purchase of new formal footwear. The result was that the formal robes, necessary for diplomatic receptions dragged on the floor. My father would have noticed this, and I would have shamed him. The only route available to avoid such opprobrium was to use an alternative source of footwear, allowing clearance from the floor.”
“So you did what exactly.”
“It was fortunate that my hybrid physiology had delayed the hormonal growth spurt, thus I was able to utilise my mother’s footwear. It was of course difficult to balance initially, but after observing the female Terrans working in the embassy I was able to calculate the physical and mathematical principles required to perambulate without succumbing to gravitational forces.”
“You mean you spent the time ogling space girls.”
“Crudely put but essentially correct.”
“And Sarek never found out?”
“Unfortunately that was not the case; a member of the paparazzi obtained an image of the footwear at one of the receptions. My father was bothered little by the headlines; however he was most displeased that I had displayed a lack of logic in my failure to request that his staff replicate the necessary foot-covering.”
“And the headlines”
“I am sure that you do not need me to tell you what you have already intimated yourself. I trust that your puerile curiosity has now been satiated, Dr McCoy.”
Dr McCoy exited the briefing room in a huff. If he had been expecting salacious revelations he had been disappointed. Spock was right the explanation had been perfectly logical. Though the thought of Spock watching the posteriors of Terran females for the purposes of mimicking their gait was he admitted a little amusing.
Jim, however was a little more discerning.
“I am intrigued Spock, that Vulcan society does not take issue with same sex relationships, certainly on Earth there are those who would consider a non reproductive relationship illogical from the biological standpoint.”
“An erroneous assumption, same sex relationships are not as frequent as to alter the population reproductive rate, furthermore current cloning and surrogacy techniques remove such a consideration. Moreover for a telepathic race the primary issue is compatibility of mind not gender.”
“Still, wasn’t it an irritation that the media were wrong?”
To Jim’s surprise, Spock’s response was initially non-verbal; the man scanned him, or had he?Surely he was mistaken.
“Were they?”
He was not mistaken, but before Kirk could clarify Spock had exited the ready room leaving Kirk to ponder the final comment and its implications and to formulate his response.
It didn’t take long for doctor McCoy’s research to locate the image Spock had described. At the start of the following week’s staff meeting he bounced into the briefing room waving his PADD at Kirk.
“Boy have I a revelation for you, Jim-boy,” the doctor was bouncing on his heels like a teenage girl with a juicy titbit of gossip. He pushed the pad across the desk to Kirk
“Is He Gay?”
Vulcan ambassador’s son prefers High Heels to standard footwear!
To McCoy’s surprise, Jim Kirk leaded nonchalantly across the shoulder of his seated first officer and pushed the button to delete the image.
“Bones, tell me something I don’t know.”