I wonder what it's supposed to feel like...
What am I doing? What happened? How did I get here? My hair is bad, my fingernails are dirty, I have cuts on my forearms and thighs, I have nothing to show for it. I wish everything would stop. I wish I could go backwards. I want to push everything away. I can't show affection, love, anger, jealousy, saddness, it just all blends into a goopy off white mess. I'm not trying to be dramatic. In fact I have never thought that my feelings are less poignent and original than i do right now.
Things that always happen:
the pretty girsl with their side swept bangs and thier dyed red hair.
the way I can still remember what you smelled like even though it's been a year since I've heard your voice.
school doesn't matter and it never has.
studio. work. home. work. home. studio. home. work. bed.
I can't write. I can't draw. Every thought I have just leads to another and another and another until I'm thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.
I remeber what it was like to be at your parties. I remember waht it was like to fight.
Make good art=get bad grades
make good art=have a crappy relationship
hurt people=make good art
hurt yourself=make good art
rot in your own putrid smell with netflix and no time to do anything but sleep=make crappy art
I'm cold, I'm tired, I'm dirty, I'm too loud, I'm too quiet, I'm not happy, I'm not sad enough to make art about it. I am nothing, and everything and it just all feels very wrong and very stunted.
Things that always happen:
the pretty girsl with their side swept bangs and thier dyed red hair.
the way I can still remember what you smelled like even though it's been a year since I've heard your voice.
school doesn't matter and it never has.
studio. work. home. work. home. studio. home. work. bed.
I can't write. I can't draw. Every thought I have just leads to another and another and another until I'm thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.
I remeber what it was like to be at your parties. I remember waht it was like to fight.
Make good art=get bad grades
make good art=have a crappy relationship
hurt people=make good art
hurt yourself=make good art
rot in your own putrid smell with netflix and no time to do anything but sleep=make crappy art
I'm cold, I'm tired, I'm dirty, I'm too loud, I'm too quiet, I'm not happy, I'm not sad enough to make art about it. I am nothing, and everything and it just all feels very wrong and very stunted.