new york, my abusive lover
dear new york,
by the time you read this, i will be gone. i hope you will not hate me for leaving, but understand that you left me no choice. with you, i was always on my guard, to the point that i forget what it is to relax, lower defenses and yield, yield, yield! i admit, i will miss your enormous cock and the way your nipple piercing makes your left areola twice the size as your right one. but even if i enjoyed it sometimes, the fact is you never stopped ass-raping me, even when i was trying to work on my thesis or make new friends. i know what you're going to say, i moaned whenever you punched me in the throat and grunted whenever you salted wound and licked it clean. i won't deny that your sadism turned me on, and it's true that when you pointed out all my friends' flaws whenever they left, i'd laugh and share in your malice. but you were wrong about one thing: compassion is not weakness. i'm going west to stay with someone i can trust for a while. i know you think i'll come crawling back, like i always have done and all your bitches eventually do. maybe i will come back, but i will not crawl. i will stride toward you with confidence, look you in your shifty blue-green eyes and kick you square in the nuts.
suck it.
jon
p.s. hanging out with young hipsters doesn't make you seem younger, by the way, it makes you seem older. your age is showing with every patch of pigeon-shit grey you would probably call "salt and pepper." whatever will you do when you're ugly and unpopular? your fat cousin new jersey will probably end up changing your diapers and stealing your medication. he'll suck it right out of the IV you son of a bitch. like a fucking caprisun.
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why the awkwardly expressed anger?
new york is an abusive spouse who protests most when you try to leave. after all the craziness and the DONENESS of it all (thesis, swim test, packing, shipping, goodbyes, etc.) i got to the airport 2 hours before my flight but it took THREE hours to even check in. today is one of the busiest travel days of the year, apparently, and i missed my flight through no fault of my own. fucking delta. this didn't stress me as much as it would have, but after the week i've had, the prospect of waiting, and not RUSHING is not a big deal. long story short, the only ticket to SF from NY in the next 24 hours was a single first class ticket. i subtracted the difference, and my parents decided that it was worth $400 to get me home tonight. i mean, i have no place in ny to go back to, and two more taxis plus a hotel would cost about $300. so i have no complaints, i'm sitting pretty in the elite business lounge drinking tea and wondering how dirty the showers are. the man next to me in the business center is looking at gay porn. he is old and breathes heavily, occassionally sending a charged look my way.
i have relocated.
i also have to finish xmas shopping extremely quickly.
i should get in tonight around 9 or so. probably will not go out though.
should i have a new year's party at my place? do we all want to be in the city or just sleep over and swim in my pool? i can also just have a graduation party sometime over break. when does everyone go back?
i am so excited to be home. fuck this limbo shit. don't even ask how low i can go. tragically low.
Below:
"Again and again, the East prevails over the West in launching rockets aimed at outer space."
by the time you read this, i will be gone. i hope you will not hate me for leaving, but understand that you left me no choice. with you, i was always on my guard, to the point that i forget what it is to relax, lower defenses and yield, yield, yield! i admit, i will miss your enormous cock and the way your nipple piercing makes your left areola twice the size as your right one. but even if i enjoyed it sometimes, the fact is you never stopped ass-raping me, even when i was trying to work on my thesis or make new friends. i know what you're going to say, i moaned whenever you punched me in the throat and grunted whenever you salted wound and licked it clean. i won't deny that your sadism turned me on, and it's true that when you pointed out all my friends' flaws whenever they left, i'd laugh and share in your malice. but you were wrong about one thing: compassion is not weakness. i'm going west to stay with someone i can trust for a while. i know you think i'll come crawling back, like i always have done and all your bitches eventually do. maybe i will come back, but i will not crawl. i will stride toward you with confidence, look you in your shifty blue-green eyes and kick you square in the nuts.
suck it.
jon
p.s. hanging out with young hipsters doesn't make you seem younger, by the way, it makes you seem older. your age is showing with every patch of pigeon-shit grey you would probably call "salt and pepper." whatever will you do when you're ugly and unpopular? your fat cousin new jersey will probably end up changing your diapers and stealing your medication. he'll suck it right out of the IV you son of a bitch. like a fucking caprisun.
-----------
why the awkwardly expressed anger?
new york is an abusive spouse who protests most when you try to leave. after all the craziness and the DONENESS of it all (thesis, swim test, packing, shipping, goodbyes, etc.) i got to the airport 2 hours before my flight but it took THREE hours to even check in. today is one of the busiest travel days of the year, apparently, and i missed my flight through no fault of my own. fucking delta. this didn't stress me as much as it would have, but after the week i've had, the prospect of waiting, and not RUSHING is not a big deal. long story short, the only ticket to SF from NY in the next 24 hours was a single first class ticket. i subtracted the difference, and my parents decided that it was worth $400 to get me home tonight. i mean, i have no place in ny to go back to, and two more taxis plus a hotel would cost about $300. so i have no complaints, i'm sitting pretty in the elite business lounge drinking tea and wondering how dirty the showers are. the man next to me in the business center is looking at gay porn. he is old and breathes heavily, occassionally sending a charged look my way.
i have relocated.
i also have to finish xmas shopping extremely quickly.
i should get in tonight around 9 or so. probably will not go out though.
should i have a new year's party at my place? do we all want to be in the city or just sleep over and swim in my pool? i can also just have a graduation party sometime over break. when does everyone go back?
i am so excited to be home. fuck this limbo shit. don't even ask how low i can go. tragically low.
Below:
"Again and again, the East prevails over the West in launching rockets aimed at outer space."