Friend Zoning.
So there's a few things we need to clarify first, Please bear with me and actually read this before I'm flooded with comments from rage feminists, dude bros, or sensitive new age douche bags claiming that I don't understand.
I've keep noticing this pattern of people trying to win arguments over the internet- because that is where people argue these days- by simply taking the stance that what the other person is talking about "doesn't exist." I've seen this tactic used on everything from the friend zone and rape culture, to white privilege, and reverse racism. What happens when we do this is we stop listening to each other. We become intransigent in our own point of view, and frankly we get bitter, snarky, and mean. So let's stop that.
The term Friend Zone made its way into popular culture by way of the sitcom Scrubs in 2001. I'm pretty sure it was the second episode. The idea that was established in the show was that a guy had 24 hours to establish himself as a potential dating partner before he's put in "The Friend Zone," where she mentally places all her platonic male friends.
In a sense, it's not bullshit. Most men have had the unfortunate experience of developing a growing attraction for a woman only to be rejected in the standard manner of, "I like you as a friend." If the guy is really unfortunate, the woman will extol his virtues. "You're a really great guy." "You're my best friend" "You're like my best girlfriend." or whatever. Sometimes she really feels that way. Sometimes she's just trying to spare his feelings. Sometimes the woman has lousy taste in men and would rather date a verbally abusive asshole. Sometimes it's just matter of bad timing. It sucks. It happens. The only thing there is to do is raise you right hand, and recite The Pledge. "I am a schmuck. I can not win."
Now here's why dwelling on it is a waste of your time. If she doesn't like you in "that way", being bitter about it is not going to help your cause. Assuming for a moment that she really put you through the emotional ringer, if she does suddenly requite your feelings of love assuming that your intentions aren't just wanting to bang, any relationship you have is going to be extremely lopsided and most likely doomed to failure.
She probably doesn't like it any more than you do. Whether your intentions were honest or not, the feeling she's going to walk away from is that on some level conscious or not, you were pretending to be her friend in order to get into her pants.
Bottomline. Be honest with yourself about what you want. If a woman is interested in you, she'll tell you. If don't pick up on the hints, she'll tell you again. If you can't handle being the Friend Zone, maybe you should stop being friends with women.
I've keep noticing this pattern of people trying to win arguments over the internet- because that is where people argue these days- by simply taking the stance that what the other person is talking about "doesn't exist." I've seen this tactic used on everything from the friend zone and rape culture, to white privilege, and reverse racism. What happens when we do this is we stop listening to each other. We become intransigent in our own point of view, and frankly we get bitter, snarky, and mean. So let's stop that.
The term Friend Zone made its way into popular culture by way of the sitcom Scrubs in 2001. I'm pretty sure it was the second episode. The idea that was established in the show was that a guy had 24 hours to establish himself as a potential dating partner before he's put in "The Friend Zone," where she mentally places all her platonic male friends.
In a sense, it's not bullshit. Most men have had the unfortunate experience of developing a growing attraction for a woman only to be rejected in the standard manner of, "I like you as a friend." If the guy is really unfortunate, the woman will extol his virtues. "You're a really great guy." "You're my best friend" "You're like my best girlfriend." or whatever. Sometimes she really feels that way. Sometimes she's just trying to spare his feelings. Sometimes the woman has lousy taste in men and would rather date a verbally abusive asshole. Sometimes it's just matter of bad timing. It sucks. It happens. The only thing there is to do is raise you right hand, and recite The Pledge. "I am a schmuck. I can not win."
Now here's why dwelling on it is a waste of your time. If she doesn't like you in "that way", being bitter about it is not going to help your cause. Assuming for a moment that she really put you through the emotional ringer, if she does suddenly requite your feelings of love assuming that your intentions aren't just wanting to bang, any relationship you have is going to be extremely lopsided and most likely doomed to failure.
She probably doesn't like it any more than you do. Whether your intentions were honest or not, the feeling she's going to walk away from is that on some level conscious or not, you were pretending to be her friend in order to get into her pants.
Bottomline. Be honest with yourself about what you want. If a woman is interested in you, she'll tell you. If don't pick up on the hints, she'll tell you again. If you can't handle being the Friend Zone, maybe you should stop being friends with women.