Birth story, at long last
Well i'm a mummy at last <3
Joshua Daniel Archie Smith.
They had told us at the scan we had at 39 weeks it was a boy :)
i'm gonna split this entry into sections so if you dont want to read the gory/detailed/yukky bits you dont have to :)
Laura came round to watch the BB final (thank god eugene didnt win!), and my sister turned up too. Apparently my dad was meant to be looking after her and was just crashed out on the sofa so my mum brought her round to me for the night. My mum works nights at the hospital for those of you who dont know. So yes, we all watched BB, ate pizza and drank shandy, was fun :)
So i got to bed around midnight or so. Then i woke up when mithy came in from work, and i couldnt get back to sleep for ages. So i reckon i was awake from like 2.30 til 5. not good.
Woke up at 6am with tummy ache. I know its all cliched to say it, but i knew it was the real thing. It was sort of like period pains i guess. Quite painful, (obviously!), but bearable. I tried to get back to sleep and couldnt, cos every time i had almost dropped off, i got another pain. Mithy woke up and asked me what was wrong, i told him i'd woken up with tummy ache, he sort of went 'uh huh' and rolled back over and went back to sleep. I decided to try getting in the bath, seeing as thats what they kept banging on about at parentcraft. So i got in the bath, it didnt really help the pain. I almost nodded off in there but the pain stopped me every time. I was in there for an hour, and i got almost 20 contractions. Now the thing they tell you is 5 minutes apart, a minute long means time to go to labour ward. Well, from that they were 5 minutes apart, but they were only around 30 seconds long. So i get out the bath and my sister is up, i tell her the baby is coming and she looks a bit worried, shes only 11. I just put my nightie back on, i didnt want to faff about getting dressed. I was starving though, so i tried to have some cereal. 4 more contractions in the time it took me to eat the bowl of cereal. I discovered it was more bearable if i knelt on the sofa and leant forward over the back, or if i stood up at the end of our bed and leant on it. So i was doing that when i got one. My mum was coming to get beth at 8, so when she arrived my sister let her in and she could tell it was it when she saw me. Told her how close and stuff, and we decided that she would go home and get some kip, and i would ring her when i wanted to go in - either when they were lasting a minute or when i wanted some pain killers. So my mum and sister left, i tried again with no luck to go back to sleep.Did some walking around to try and ease the pain but it didnt really help that much. nicer than lying down though, i could sort of press against the bed end when i was standing to counter the pain. i woke mithy up at 10.30 because by now some of them were so painful i was crying, and they were lasting about 45 seconds, and he was like, whats going on, i was like, the baby is coming, go get dressed. he had a bit of a flap and asked if i wanted him to ring his dad (no, my mum is coming), and why isnt my mum already on her way? I had a few more contractions before i managed to make my way to the phone for my mum, and then some more while i was on the phone to her that were so bad i couldnt speak to her. She wanted me to ring labour ward before i went in so it was agreed that i'd ring them and she would ring back in 5 minutes to see what they had said.
So i tried to ring them, and it was engaged. Bloody typical. But i went to the loo then and i'd had a show. So, something was definately happening. Told my mum that when she rang and she said she'd be on her way as soon as she'd woken up and sorted herself out. Mithy wasnt impressed 'anyone else would be round in 5 minutes', true, but my waters still hadnt broken so it was no major rush really... Think my mum arrived around 11, and i got all my stuff together and we set off, having another contraction in the time it took me to get from the flat to the car parked outside. My mum drove to the hospital very badly, going over the bumps was not enjoyable... Held mithys hand for squeezing purposes which helped a bit, and the handle of the door on the other side. My mum did a sort of timing thing while i was getting out the car, and they were coming so that i was contracting for a minute, resting for a minute etc. Mithy took the cases and gave the lady my notes and someone came and got me and took me down to the ward.
When we got to admissions i said 'You arent putting me in number 4 are you?' no, 5. thank god. Every time i'd been i'd been put in 4 and i didnt want to be sent home again! I was still getting a bit of relief by leaning against something a bit lower than waist height when the contractions came, and standing, but they wanted me to go on the monitor so they could check my contractions were 'real'. So i had to lie on the bed and be strapped to the machine that monitored baby's heart rate and my contractions. We could see that they were sort of double the intensity of those fake ones i'd been getting last time i was there. She left me on it for 20 minutes, not very nice. Did my blood pressure which was 101, not really a surprise there though!
Then she said 'this is the bit you've been dreading', and said she was going to give me an internal. Now, i didnt think it would be that bad. Silly naive me just thought it would be, ooh yes, 3 cm, done. No no. It was (at that point anyway) the most painful thing i have ever experienced. It felt like she was putting her whole hand in, which she probably virtually was :-/ and she was prodding and poking about, and it just HURT. i cried, she carried on. She tells me though, that i am 7cm already (!), but that my waters havent broken yet.
Oh, now they have. All her prodding and poking broke them. So they come gushing out while she is still in there. It was such a weird feeling. Its not like wetting yourself or anything, they literally gushed out and there was nothing i could do about it. And it didnt feel like wee, it sort of had a thicker consistency, like jelly :-/ Ick. This was about 12.30. So yes, that all came out, and so she had to change the pad that i was lying on and she put a maternity pad under me to catch any more that would come out. So then it was, well you arent going home today then! So then she said 'Are they bad enough that you feel you need something for the pain?' 'Er, yes, thats why i came in...' So she hands me the gas and air thingymajig. At first it was weird. Sort of gave me pins and needles ever so slightly in my mouth. It felt to me, exactly like when you get that really drunk, so that when you lie down and close your eyes, it feels like your head is spinning backwards. So i was sort of trying not to take too much of it at first cos i wasnt sure if i liked it or not...and she says she'll get me over to an actual labour room. We sort of assume they'll just wheel the bed over, but no, she comes back and expects me to walk. Er, no chance. So she says she'll get me a wheelchair, but she doesnt seem too happy about it. So i finally get on the wheelchair, pad grasped around me like a nappy, and they wheel me round to the labour bit.
So i get into the new bed, and meet the midwife who seems lovely. By this point i'm just pufffing on the gas and air most of the time, even though its spacing me out. Mithy is holding my other hand and my mum is sitting at the end of the bed doing the typical 'breathe!' thang. My mum and the midwife kept remarking on how calm and laid back i was, and i suppose i was, but there was nothing i could do really was there?! just kept puffing away on the gas thing most of the time. I was sort of sending me to sleep, my mum told me later i looked completly out of it at some points, but it did help. I could still feel them getting worse though, i was needing the gas more, and they were harder to get over. The urge to push was sort of beginning to rear its head as well... The midwife asked if i wanted to change positions, but to be honest, i wasnt bothered, so long as i had my gas thingy to breathe on. I kept getting the 'you're doing really well' speil, but it did sort of help. The midwife saw that it was getting almost to pushing time, and told me what to do when it was. Then, for some unknown reason, she decided that she wanted me to go for a wee 'because you havent been for 4 hours'. well yes, i've had a lot of other stuff on my mind... So she makes me get out of bed and sit on a bedpan in an attempt to wee. Mithy decides he doesnt want to see that, and goes out the room. I sit there and have a few contractions, unable to wee. The midwife decides to go outside too to see if i can do anything without her there. my mum turns the tap on too, but i still cant go. my mum sees that me sitting on a bedpan having contractions is doing me no good, and helps me back onto the bed.
When i got back in bed, instead of lying down like i had been, i sort of knelt over the back of the bed (doggy style as tara would have put it). And that was it, he was coming. None of that 'push now' nonsense, he just came steaming out as soon as i had my next contraction. Mithy only just made it back in in time, and the midwife came back in and went 'oh my god i can see the head!'. So yeah, ouch. That bit hurt. It sort of burned/stung. And then once the head is out you're meant to wait a bit before you push the body out. Well he wasnt waiting for that. I had forgotten all about the gas and air by this point, and the midwfie was going 'breathe! breathe! breathe through the gas' and then i remembered and started back on that again. They were telling me to wait but nope, he wasnt waiting, and out he came. Its such a horrible feeling, i actually said to mithy 'eurgh that felt horrible' or something along those lines, but it did. It feels like your whole insides are falling out, cos its really heavy. Not nice at all. Well i didnt like it anyway. And then you sort of look down and hes there. He was all purple but still all perfect. I cried then. The midwife asked mithy if he wanted to cut the cord 'NO!!', and my mum asked if she could do it so she did. Then they wrapped him up and gave him to mithy to hold. 4.15pm he was born.
Then i had to manouvere myself back down to a sitting position, but there was like a load of blood and general yukiness on the bed below where i'd been kneeling. i told mithy not to look otherwise he'd be sick. So yeah, that wasnt very nice. I had blood all over my legs and stuff. But i finally got sorted and i got a hold. He was all vernixy, and quiet, and to me he looked like the baby from look whos talking. no one else knew what i was on about really. useless. The midwife shoved him up the front of my nightie to keep him warm <3 Then i got the injection in my leg, which bloody hurt. I still have a bruise from it now :( I think they sort of just yanked the placenta out. That felt like my insides being pulled out anyway and wasnt a nice feeling, but at least it didnt hurt. THey asked me if i wanted to see it.God no. Why would i want to see it? Ick. So they took it away and got rid of it. Then they took him and weighed him and measured him and checked him over. 8lb 3oz, 56cm long, head was 37cm. i think it was then i started texting people, i cant remember. I know Ross rang and i couldnt speak to him cos they were still sorting something, so maybe i texted people before they delivered the placenta. I'm not sure :-/
Mithy went out to ring his parents and stuff, and i gave Joshua his first feed. Went on fine, although not across my belly, sort of sitting up next to me. Then mif came back, and they dressed joshua and mif got more cuddles. Then his parents arrived. Obviously they couldnt come in, so mif said he would go home with them and get changed and come back when it was visiting time, which was 6.30. So Josh got put in his cot, and the midwife set about sorting me out. She said she thought i'd need stitches, so she would have a look. So she did, and yes. Apparently when Josh came out his fist was up by his mouth, so it wasnt just his head coming out, but his head and arm at once. Ouch. So she propped me up in stirrups, nice, and covered me in a load of paper like they were operating on me. I tried not to think about the lovely view she was getting. She told me i could carry on with the gas and air, so i started puffing on that, and held my mums hand with the other hand. Now, all i can say, is that it was the most excrutiating pain of my life. Like, 100 times more painful than the actual birth. She stopped, and i thought she'd finished, but all she had done was put the local anasthetic in. She asked if it was just hurting all the time, and it was, so she sort of prodded me and asked if that hurt, and it did, and she said that that wasnt even anywhere near the tear :( It didnt get any better, it just got worse. It just felt like she was sawing me in half, and the whole of my bits were really intensely vibrating, and just hurting a whole fucking lot. I was just biting on the gas thing and squeezing my mums hand, and crying my eyes out, and they kept putting more local in me, and it still hurt, you could feel everything , it went straight through your body as well, not just your bits. i could feel every stitch as well as the prodding and poking. My mum was going 'dont worry, it'll be over soon and you can hold your baby and it'll all be worth it', and that just made me cry even more :( And then the midwfie called in someone else for a second opinion or something, it was not nice, listening to people peering at your bits going 'does that bit go there?' and 'just take that stitch inside and carry on on the other side'. and then telling you what theyre doing. i dont want to know, i just want you to hurry the fuck up and get it over with. i dont know how long it actually took to do, but it felt like forever, literally like over an hour, although i doubt it was more than 10 minutes. 9 stitches, doesnt sound like many but oh god it was more than enough :( When they had finished, it was the first time i had sworn all day. Something along the lines of 'oh my fucking god that hurt', and my mum laughed at the fact that i had lasted that long without swearing.
So then they told me to have a bath to clean up. I wasnt looking forward to taking the new stitches in the bath, but it actually didnt hurt. I was waiting for more pain as i sat down but it was fine. Cleared all the blood off my legs (ick) and washed my hair and stuff, cos i was just generally covered in crap. Not actual crap :P Then got out and got all dressed, my belly felt all weird, it was smaller, but it wasnt my belly still. Got all my stuff together and i got wheeled over to the ward with Josh in my arms and my mum lugging the suitcases. Got into my bed and stuff, and gave him another feed before mif came back with his parents.
His dad wouldnt hold him cos he said he was too small, he didnt want to break him :) His sisters came in for a look, and mif had more cuddles. My dad and my brother came and both had a hold, my brother held him like he was made of glass.My dad was all 'i cant believe you've made me a grandad', but then he wouldnt stop holding him and kissing him. Mif and his lot went home, and my brother and dad stayed for a bit longer. Changed his bum. YUK. it was like having a nappy full of chocolate sauce. All black and sticky, eurgh. Then the midwife said my dad and brother had to go too so off they went. Fed him again, then sorted myself out a bit. Gave him another bit of a feed and he fell asleep half way through so i put him down to sleep. That was about 10.30. So i went to bed too but i couldnt sleep very well. Kept waking up for the loo, to check him, and cos of the woman opposite me being the loudest snorer in the world.
Woke up around 7am and he was still sleeping. A midwife came round and asked me if i'd fed him in the night, so i told her no, he was still sleeping. So she proceeded to tell me i was depriving him of fluid, which was the only thing keeping him alive, and that i should have woken him in the night to feed him. And that i needed to wake him straight away, change him and feed him. Now, he was stirring by this point, and i could see him filling his nappy. But, cos i didnt do it fast enough for her, she started changing him right there and then. Even though as she was changing him, he was still pooing, so it was completely pointless. She then picked him up and plopped him down on my belly for me to feed him, even though i hadnt fed him like that yet. So it hurt when she put him on my belly, and i winced, and she was like 'oh does it hurt there?', err, yeah it does you silly bint. she didnt apologise though. She kept babbling on about how i should have woken him, and virtually told me he would die if i left him more than a few hours without a feed. She then kept poking his face every time he stopped sucking. I wanted to seriously punch her and tell her to just leave us alone. Thankfully after a bit more prodding and poking i didnt want she left. No one had told me where to go for my breakfast, so i assumed it was done the same way it was in gynae where i was in before, as in they bring it to you on a trolley. But they didnt. I asked a midwife and it was all out in the hall and you went and helped yourself. no one had told me though. the hospital was rubbish for that, i wasnt told anything.So i eventually got my breakfast, then a midwife came round with a load of leaflets for me. Cot death, hearing test, and contraception. Theyre keen enough for you to get at it again. She went 'you can have sex again as soon as you like'. Great. Not for a while thanks.Then the hearing test people came round and tested his ears, which were fine. A dr came round and perscribed me cocodamol for the pain i was in, and said that once the paediatrician had checked josh we could go home. My mum had said i should stay in another night, but the lady opposite me was the loudest snorer in the world, and her baby wouldnt stop crying, so i thought i'd be better off at home, away from the horrible midwife too.
Had some manky pork and mash for lunch with apple pie that looked like mush, and read cosmo. Donna came when visiting hours started with presents :D the only present for me i've got :( some new pants, hehe. I had refused to buy pants for the hospital, and instead was using my normal ones so i could buy new ones after. so she'd bought me some cool spotty pants :) and some clothes for josh too. Then mif came with Laura, and promptly fell asleep in a chair, while i told donna and laura about the labour. The paediatrician came round and checked him over, scared donna and laura by checking his hips, looks like theyre breaking his legs, not nice. but he was fine, so i was ok to go home. Donna and Laura stayed til the end of visiting hours, then i left josh with mif while i went to have a bath. Came back and he'd changed his nappy and been weed all over, bwahaha. Then we got a bath demo, which was rubbish. I thought it would be then sort of guiding you, but it was really a midwife bathing him for you. rubbish. Then he had another feed and i got discharged, and my mum came at 6 to pick me up. Put him in his little car seat and we were off.
Since we've been home everything has been fine, mifs mum bought us this little bath seat, which he likes, just sits there while i bath him and looks around. he did poo in it the first time though which wasnt very nice. Now i bath him after i've changed his nappy. I've been weed on, the carpet has been weed on, and mif has been weed on again. I've taken him into town on the bus no problem, to the park in his pram, and hes been out with mif to see his nan. I've got a breast pump so i can finally go out and get drunk again, aiming for friday. I'm sort of back to normal size wise. Well, my old trousers and stuff fit me, but my boobs are massive, i cant do up my hoodies or anything :( and i cant wear most of my tees cos theyre too tight, i need to be able to lift them up easily to feed him. Bit annoying. Hes feeding no problem, he was weighed at 10 days and was 9lb 4oz so hes getting enough. He sleeps a lot in the day, and hes generally good at night, its the evening when hes a bit narky and all awake. Last night i can actually understand why people shake their babies. That sounds so bad, but he was just crying and crying for no reason :( every time i thought he was asleep and put him down, he was up again 5 minutes later. This was from 5 til 10. I had no tea, i was knackered, and i was trying to do washing and tidying up too. Not fun. Luckily once he went down at 10, he only woke once at around 3 then around 5, and went straight back down again. Once i've sorted the pump out mithy will be able to do one of the night feeds so i'll be able to get a bit more sleep and it wont be so bad. He seems to wake up every time i finally get to sleep in the day. They say 'sleep when the baby sleeps', which is fair enough, but they forget that you have to use the time hes sleeping in the day to eat yourself, tidy up, wash clothes/dishes etc etc. Being a mum is knackering. Ace though :) Hopefully i'll be able to keep on top of this again now, this entry has taken forever to write.
Photos:
http://photobucket.com/albums/a282/Babyrex/
the ones titled lumpy and lumpy2 are from the delivery room :)