(no subject)
Certain things have come to my attention ..... given from a VERY RELIABLE source... that my inner fears were indeed realized.
I've been played with, messed with, and torn apart inside. And quite frankly it hurts me more than anything I thought would.
Yes, I wish I was an angel, which in turn makes me wish that I could help others and be caring/trusting/loving..... all the "good" Traits everyone says that I have.
But these people who claim to "love me" -- then being in a chat room, laughing about how blind I was to someone revealing that the people who supposedly "love" me.... get me so easily to believe the truth, and then have an incredible laugh about it in a private Chat room...... when I wasn't present..... seriously hurts me more than anything that's ever done.
I tried to give nothing but love and affection to those people involved.
But in return -- I was given the knife that plunged it's way so deeply into my back that it's going to be very hard to pull this out, or be able to comprehend how I can forgive those who did this to me....
How can it be so easy to believe that certain people love me now when I find out information like this.....? I Just don't know anymore. I really don't.
Yes, it's minorly my own fault for being so naive.... and I admit to this freely.
But to know that those I held so dearly with love went behind my back to laugh at my misfortune..... hurts me a hell of a lot more.
If you wish to still keep in contact with me... if you weren't a part of the people who heartlessly made a mockery out of me.... send me an email. Otherwise... you can try and see if there's a way that I'll forgive you for what's happened.
I've been played with, messed with, and torn apart inside. And quite frankly it hurts me more than anything I thought would.
Yes, I wish I was an angel, which in turn makes me wish that I could help others and be caring/trusting/loving..... all the "good" Traits everyone says that I have.
But these people who claim to "love me" -- then being in a chat room, laughing about how blind I was to someone revealing that the people who supposedly "love" me.... get me so easily to believe the truth, and then have an incredible laugh about it in a private Chat room...... when I wasn't present..... seriously hurts me more than anything that's ever done.
I tried to give nothing but love and affection to those people involved.
But in return -- I was given the knife that plunged it's way so deeply into my back that it's going to be very hard to pull this out, or be able to comprehend how I can forgive those who did this to me....
How can it be so easy to believe that certain people love me now when I find out information like this.....? I Just don't know anymore. I really don't.
Yes, it's minorly my own fault for being so naive.... and I admit to this freely.
But to know that those I held so dearly with love went behind my back to laugh at my misfortune..... hurts me a hell of a lot more.
If you wish to still keep in contact with me... if you weren't a part of the people who heartlessly made a mockery out of me.... send me an email. Otherwise... you can try and see if there's a way that I'll forgive you for what's happened.