Mom
My mom died about a month and a half ago. I've been thinking so much, so hard about her, about life. The whole thing, this dying thing, is so odd. I've never been close to anyone who's died before, it's been hard and it's been sad, but mostly now it's just odd. Odd how the world closes in around the hole that she left, odd how quickly we needed to bury her, to eulogize her, to be done with the physical things of her life. How quickly it felt right to clean out her closet, look through her things, pack away, give away, take as our own the physical things that were my mom's. How very quickly we needed to let her go and get on with it.
She was old and very sick and we knew we didn't have very much time with her, so I think, at least for me, I'd done some of my grieving already. In the past couple of years, her place in the world, in our lives, had gotten smaller and smaller. Not that we loved her any less, not that the time I spent with her was any less full, but she had less and less to do in the world, less and less desire for anything, for reading, for going places, for eating, for entertainment or distraction. She wanted to sleep and visit with her family. Finally, she went to sleep and slipped away. I think she was finished here.
I haven't thought much about the "Afterlife", it doesn't seem to matter much.
We had two services, one where we grew up, in Arkansas, and one where my parents retired in California. Both were Southern Baptist and there was much talk of mom in heaven with Jesus and of the resurrection when the dead in Christ shall rise to meet him in the heavens. The dead in Christ shall rise from the graves, perfect in their corporal bodies and meet Jesus in the clouds as he comes back to reign on earth for a thousand years. We will live on this earth, in our perfect bodies in peace and harmony for a thousand years.
The lion shall lay down with the lamb.
The second service was Saturday. The next morning we got up for Easter Sunday church. The pastor said, "If you believe, you will never die", about twenty times. Never gonna die. Never die. He just kept saying it over and over, pounding it home. OK, it was Easter, so the whole rising from the grave thing was pretty much central to the message, but that's all he had to give us. If we accepted Jesus Christ as our personal savior, we would never die. I was looking for a little something on how to live. I need some help while I'm still here, while I'm still breathing, while I still have energy and desire for life, for the world.
Oh, but the hymns were good! "Up from the grave he arose! A mighty triumph 'or his foes! He arose a victor from the dark domain and he lives forever with his saints to reign! He Arose! He Arose! Hallelujah, Christ arose!" I don't believe a word of it, but man oh man it does the soul good to belt out an old southern Baptist hymn.
I don't think I want to live forever. Dying seems like it might be a good thing to do, not tomorrow or anything, but when I'm done, when I finished what I have to do here. Then, after, well, no use worrying over it. Whatever it is, that's what it is. Not too much I can do about it.
She was old and very sick and we knew we didn't have very much time with her, so I think, at least for me, I'd done some of my grieving already. In the past couple of years, her place in the world, in our lives, had gotten smaller and smaller. Not that we loved her any less, not that the time I spent with her was any less full, but she had less and less to do in the world, less and less desire for anything, for reading, for going places, for eating, for entertainment or distraction. She wanted to sleep and visit with her family. Finally, she went to sleep and slipped away. I think she was finished here.
I haven't thought much about the "Afterlife", it doesn't seem to matter much.
We had two services, one where we grew up, in Arkansas, and one where my parents retired in California. Both were Southern Baptist and there was much talk of mom in heaven with Jesus and of the resurrection when the dead in Christ shall rise to meet him in the heavens. The dead in Christ shall rise from the graves, perfect in their corporal bodies and meet Jesus in the clouds as he comes back to reign on earth for a thousand years. We will live on this earth, in our perfect bodies in peace and harmony for a thousand years.
The lion shall lay down with the lamb.
The second service was Saturday. The next morning we got up for Easter Sunday church. The pastor said, "If you believe, you will never die", about twenty times. Never gonna die. Never die. He just kept saying it over and over, pounding it home. OK, it was Easter, so the whole rising from the grave thing was pretty much central to the message, but that's all he had to give us. If we accepted Jesus Christ as our personal savior, we would never die. I was looking for a little something on how to live. I need some help while I'm still here, while I'm still breathing, while I still have energy and desire for life, for the world.
Oh, but the hymns were good! "Up from the grave he arose! A mighty triumph 'or his foes! He arose a victor from the dark domain and he lives forever with his saints to reign! He Arose! He Arose! Hallelujah, Christ arose!" I don't believe a word of it, but man oh man it does the soul good to belt out an old southern Baptist hymn.
I don't think I want to live forever. Dying seems like it might be a good thing to do, not tomorrow or anything, but when I'm done, when I finished what I have to do here. Then, after, well, no use worrying over it. Whatever it is, that's what it is. Not too much I can do about it.