(no subject)
So, I know only a few people read this; and those people aren't going to want to hear about what I have to say, but I need to get this out.
First of all, Tim LeMere is quickly becoming a very good friend. I just don't know if we will ever fully connect because of our difference of opinion on the creation of life. I know that I'm not being very accepting when I say this, but I really don't understand how anyone could believe in religion whole-heartedly without any doubt. I really don't have any friends who are religous besides Tim. I love Tim. I just think he is wrong about this one thing and I think it is holding him back. I don't know though. It's just that I have a completely opposite oppinion.
The other Tim and I are actually doing really well right now. This is the best we've been since Bright Eyes weekend, but none of my friends are as pleased as I am. I no longer feel free to talk about him in front of them, and none of them want to hang out with me when I am with him. It makes me sad, but I understand why they feel the way they do. He did fuck me over, but I have forgiven him and I wish everyone else would too. It's hard for us to be friends when no one is in support of our relationship.
I'm worried about him too. I don't think Brittney is handling him properly. He failed three out of four of his classes this semester. One of them, for the second time. I don't know what he is going to do with his life, and I'm afraid he has gotten to the point of giving up. I don't want him to give up. I think he could do great things if presented with the right opportunities. I am really afraid that he isn't going to pull his grades around and he's not going to apply to college. He needs to do that. If he doesn't get into college when he finishes high school, he's gonna lose health insurance. He needs that health insurance to pay for his heart problems.
That brings me to my next worry, which is that he's gotten too far into his hobbies, and he's not going to be able to pull himself out. Last night he did something which really scared me. I was seriously afraid that he was going to die, and I actually contemplated whether or not his parents would invite me to his funeral. I don't ever want to have to think about that again. Today, we talked for quite a while and he thinks he has a problem. He's not sure if he's going to be able to fix it. He doesn't want to tell his parents, but he thinks he needs help. I didn't even know what to say. I love him, and I want him to be okay. With his heart the way it is, I'm really afraid that his life is at risk. When he also stated this fear, it really scared me. I just wanted to hold him and tell him that it would be okay and he could fix things. I'm not sure if he can though. I'm also not sure if Brittney getting pissed at him is the best way to deal with things. It made me feel good to hear that my concern for him meant a lot to him. I am truly worried. I don't want him to die. I want him to accomplish things. Even if we are never any more than friends, I still love him. And as I write this I cry because I am so sure of this fact. I cry because I am worried. I cry because I want everything to be okay for him. I cry because I wish I could just give him a big hug and make everything alright.
I don't know if anyone will read this, or if anyone cares, but I had to say it. I don't ask for comments. Leave one if you like, but if it has anything negative to say please don't.
First of all, Tim LeMere is quickly becoming a very good friend. I just don't know if we will ever fully connect because of our difference of opinion on the creation of life. I know that I'm not being very accepting when I say this, but I really don't understand how anyone could believe in religion whole-heartedly without any doubt. I really don't have any friends who are religous besides Tim. I love Tim. I just think he is wrong about this one thing and I think it is holding him back. I don't know though. It's just that I have a completely opposite oppinion.
The other Tim and I are actually doing really well right now. This is the best we've been since Bright Eyes weekend, but none of my friends are as pleased as I am. I no longer feel free to talk about him in front of them, and none of them want to hang out with me when I am with him. It makes me sad, but I understand why they feel the way they do. He did fuck me over, but I have forgiven him and I wish everyone else would too. It's hard for us to be friends when no one is in support of our relationship.
I'm worried about him too. I don't think Brittney is handling him properly. He failed three out of four of his classes this semester. One of them, for the second time. I don't know what he is going to do with his life, and I'm afraid he has gotten to the point of giving up. I don't want him to give up. I think he could do great things if presented with the right opportunities. I am really afraid that he isn't going to pull his grades around and he's not going to apply to college. He needs to do that. If he doesn't get into college when he finishes high school, he's gonna lose health insurance. He needs that health insurance to pay for his heart problems.
That brings me to my next worry, which is that he's gotten too far into his hobbies, and he's not going to be able to pull himself out. Last night he did something which really scared me. I was seriously afraid that he was going to die, and I actually contemplated whether or not his parents would invite me to his funeral. I don't ever want to have to think about that again. Today, we talked for quite a while and he thinks he has a problem. He's not sure if he's going to be able to fix it. He doesn't want to tell his parents, but he thinks he needs help. I didn't even know what to say. I love him, and I want him to be okay. With his heart the way it is, I'm really afraid that his life is at risk. When he also stated this fear, it really scared me. I just wanted to hold him and tell him that it would be okay and he could fix things. I'm not sure if he can though. I'm also not sure if Brittney getting pissed at him is the best way to deal with things. It made me feel good to hear that my concern for him meant a lot to him. I am truly worried. I don't want him to die. I want him to accomplish things. Even if we are never any more than friends, I still love him. And as I write this I cry because I am so sure of this fact. I cry because I am worried. I cry because I want everything to be okay for him. I cry because I wish I could just give him a big hug and make everything alright.
I don't know if anyone will read this, or if anyone cares, but I had to say it. I don't ask for comments. Leave one if you like, but if it has anything negative to say please don't.