I miss missing you (SA)
Just a little short thing that I wrote.
(song - The Saturdays, Missing You).
I miss missing you (sometimes).
The grass tickled the back of her neck, but she didn’t let it bother her. She closed her eyes lazily, and her thoughts drifted to that time a year ago, and where she had been then. A very different time that had been, and it was barely a year ago. It was hard to believe really.
It was just a moment, but in that moment she felt it all. It was like that cheesy thing they say that when you’re dying your whole life flashes before your eyes - it was like that, but not. She wasn’t dying, not now anyway, but it was still all flashing before her. Again.
The sun became too intense on her face and she sat up, shaking the grass from her back. She was in control - or she thought she was. It was nice believing that she was anyway. It made life so much easier.
She got to her feet knowing that she couldn’t be alone with her thoughts for much longer. She couldn’t afford to go back now.
But sometimes she just wished she could miss him like she’d missed him before. At least then she’d feel human and not completely numb like this. One day maybe it would all come rushing back to her and she wouldn’t be able to cope. She would destroy herself. But for now....
As she went inside she saw his face. Not for real, but in her mind, his face just flashed in front of her, seeming as real as anything around her. He hadn’t seemed that real in a while - that was strange.
She shook it from her mind.
There was no sense in remaining in the past. She had had to teach herself that, and she had moved on hadn’t she? If you were going to survive you had to fight to stay in the present - you had to live for now, and move on. There was nothing for her to gain from the past and those memories anymore.
It had to be a good thing that she didn’t miss him anymore. Didn’t it? Even if, sometimes, she did admit to herself that she missed that - the missing him. of course she did. Those memories weren’t just going to go away, no matter how hard she tried to make them.
(song - The Saturdays, Missing You).
I miss missing you (sometimes).
The grass tickled the back of her neck, but she didn’t let it bother her. She closed her eyes lazily, and her thoughts drifted to that time a year ago, and where she had been then. A very different time that had been, and it was barely a year ago. It was hard to believe really.
It was just a moment, but in that moment she felt it all. It was like that cheesy thing they say that when you’re dying your whole life flashes before your eyes - it was like that, but not. She wasn’t dying, not now anyway, but it was still all flashing before her. Again.
The sun became too intense on her face and she sat up, shaking the grass from her back. She was in control - or she thought she was. It was nice believing that she was anyway. It made life so much easier.
She got to her feet knowing that she couldn’t be alone with her thoughts for much longer. She couldn’t afford to go back now.
But sometimes she just wished she could miss him like she’d missed him before. At least then she’d feel human and not completely numb like this. One day maybe it would all come rushing back to her and she wouldn’t be able to cope. She would destroy herself. But for now....
As she went inside she saw his face. Not for real, but in her mind, his face just flashed in front of her, seeming as real as anything around her. He hadn’t seemed that real in a while - that was strange.
She shook it from her mind.
There was no sense in remaining in the past. She had had to teach herself that, and she had moved on hadn’t she? If you were going to survive you had to fight to stay in the present - you had to live for now, and move on. There was nothing for her to gain from the past and those memories anymore.
It had to be a good thing that she didn’t miss him anymore. Didn’t it? Even if, sometimes, she did admit to herself that she missed that - the missing him. of course she did. Those memories weren’t just going to go away, no matter how hard she tried to make them.