Baptism prep should make you happy...
I just finished doing a Baptism Preparation session with some people that I knew from high school. The mom of the baby to be baptized, and the godmother (her sister) were both in music groups with me, and it was really nice to see them. Both parents are supposed to come to the Bap Prep night, but dad didn't show up, so it was just mom and the godparents. And what should be such a beautiful, meaningful, important time for a child and his family actually made me rather melancholy. I am thrilled that they are bringing him for baptism-- a lot of people my age just aren't bothering. And I am not standing over them in judgement. The mom was actually wistful when she talked about going to church-- her church was one of the ones closed down, and then she attended the other one that closed shortly afterwards, and stopped going at that point. So, I get feeling isolated, frustrated, sad, grief, etc., after losing a faith community-- or 2 in a row, for that matter. But, in the course of an hour, through general conversation, I became aware that they don't come to church, and haven't even since they baptized their 2-year old. The godmother doesn't go to church either, and she is living with her fiance, and will be married on a harbor cruise boat. So, the beauty of marriage in a faith community, supported by friends and loved ones is completely out of her understanding. And the children being baptized haven't got much chance of being raised in a faith community... it makes me so sad. They don't even know what they are missing. And the parents are commiting to raise them in the faith... but they don't. There's an issue of integrity there that you want to convey, but in a loving way. I think I did. It's a hard balance to try to issue a challenge to greater responsibility while still being welcoming, loving, and kind. It's a really fine line. People tend to either be harsh and "legalistic," or overly warm & fuzzy & "pastoral," while ignoring the truth. Really being pastoral means speaking the truth in love, and if that ain't a kick in the ass, I don't know what is.
Ironically, as the mom talked about how sad she was when the churches closed down, the girlfriend of the godfather (who stayed through the session with us) said, "they had to close them down because people like you didn't go." Wow. I would NEVER have said it in that forum (even thought it was what I was thinking), but they are good friends, and she kind of laughed it off, but I could tell it really hit home.
I have more on this, but I have to grocery shop before it closes.
Ironically, as the mom talked about how sad she was when the churches closed down, the girlfriend of the godfather (who stayed through the session with us) said, "they had to close them down because people like you didn't go." Wow. I would NEVER have said it in that forum (even thought it was what I was thinking), but they are good friends, and she kind of laughed it off, but I could tell it really hit home.
I have more on this, but I have to grocery shop before it closes.