Dad stuff
I was reminded recently that I haven't put up an update about the situation with my dad recently. Apparently enquiring minds want to know.
I got an email from Mom last week. She said that she and my father can actually talk about me getting married, which is actually a pretty big step. When Dave was dating Michelle (his first gf, who was not Jewish), Dad couldn't hear her name without feeling physically ill. He got nauseaus from thinking about her. So he, Dave, and my mom struck a deal of sorts, and came up with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Dave didn't say anything about Michelle, and Dad didn't ask about her. Now Dave is dating Melissa, also not Jewish, and it took 2 years before Dad could really talk about her, and another few months before he could be in the same room as her. So, given all that, my dad being able to talk about it after only a week or two is real progress.
Mom also said that it would be okay if I called home and maybe talked to Dad for a few minutes, ask him how he was doing. That turned out to be a little optimistic. His birthday was March 16th and, armed with my mother's positive report, I decided to call him. Actually I was calling the morning of the 17th, shortly after I read mom's email.
The call, according to Skype, lasted 19 seconds.
Dad: Hello?
Me: Hi Daddy!
[silence]
Me: I just called to wish you a happy birthday, I know it's a little late but...
Dad: Thank you. Okay, bye.
Me: Bye.
So.. yeah. He's not ready to talk. On the other hand, I'd surprised him, and my Dad doesn't deal very well with being surprised.
We'll see. My mom says there's a chance he might come to the wedding, though she's really not sure. I'm not sure what I want. On the one hand, having his approval would be nice and I will feel a bit weird if he's not at the wedding, but on the other hand, I'm sure that having him there will be a lot more stressful, which, you know, is not something one needs at a wedding.
I got an email from Mom last week. She said that she and my father can actually talk about me getting married, which is actually a pretty big step. When Dave was dating Michelle (his first gf, who was not Jewish), Dad couldn't hear her name without feeling physically ill. He got nauseaus from thinking about her. So he, Dave, and my mom struck a deal of sorts, and came up with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Dave didn't say anything about Michelle, and Dad didn't ask about her. Now Dave is dating Melissa, also not Jewish, and it took 2 years before Dad could really talk about her, and another few months before he could be in the same room as her. So, given all that, my dad being able to talk about it after only a week or two is real progress.
Mom also said that it would be okay if I called home and maybe talked to Dad for a few minutes, ask him how he was doing. That turned out to be a little optimistic. His birthday was March 16th and, armed with my mother's positive report, I decided to call him. Actually I was calling the morning of the 17th, shortly after I read mom's email.
The call, according to Skype, lasted 19 seconds.
Dad: Hello?
Me: Hi Daddy!
[silence]
Me: I just called to wish you a happy birthday, I know it's a little late but...
Dad: Thank you. Okay, bye.
Me: Bye.
So.. yeah. He's not ready to talk. On the other hand, I'd surprised him, and my Dad doesn't deal very well with being surprised.
We'll see. My mom says there's a chance he might come to the wedding, though she's really not sure. I'm not sure what I want. On the one hand, having his approval would be nice and I will feel a bit weird if he's not at the wedding, but on the other hand, I'm sure that having him there will be a lot more stressful, which, you know, is not something one needs at a wedding.