[you make the daytime radiant with the sunlight]
So tomorrow I'm leaving in the afternoon to spend two and a half days with a bunch of Protestants.
Well, okay, no. I mean maybe there is a spectacular Protestant joke I could have made there, but I am opting not to make it! Because I guess what I really wanted to say was that I'm going to go spend two and a half days with God.
Yeah, this a Religion Post.
...See, I'm having trouble starting this post, for a couple of different reasons. One is that I don't know how to start it without becoming immediately obtuse and boring. "So I've been thinking about God a lot lately." "I find that my life is much enriched by the presence of God, you guys." "So this Christianity thing--!"
I think the thing is, most folks (myself included) kind of figure they've heard all they really care to hear about Christianity. Which is understandable. People talk about it a lot! It's kind of a fundamental part of the religion! People stand on street corners and talk about it! They get on TV and talk about it! They stand in front of their voters and talk about it! They find you sitting alone in the union and talk to you about it! They stand on the South Oval with big signs, they hand out tracts and little pocket New Testaments. If you want to hear about Christianity, you really don't have to go very far to find it, to the point that seeing it mentioned can be kind of a mental turn-off, in the same way repeating a class you took in high school is, or sitting through a review session for a class you have an A in.
I am bad at talking about it. I don't like making people uncomfortable. I told Will the other day about the church trip I'm going on this weekend, and he said something like, "You really do take this Jesus thing pretty seriously, don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, I just don't talk about it much." "Probably for the best," he said.
I am going to enjoy myself in Texas. The people I'm going with aren't my denomination (though they don't believe in denominations, which is a great perk). I don't know many of them. I'll have to curb my swearing, be a little more demure, a little quieter. But I will also be able to talk about God, which is... not something I do very often. And that is going to be freeing. Last week, actually, was Coming Out Week, and I went to an open mic night and talked about coming out to my sister this summer. And the support I had there was beautiful! And I felt great and like myself and like I had shared an important part of me that it is not always safe to share.
This weekend is going to feel the same way, just... with a shift in topic. I admit - it's going to be nice to be able to talk about God, and about religion in my life, without being afraid of offending someone, or giving someone the wrong idea.
...Ugh, it sounds so selfish to say it like that. I guess what I mean is.... God makes me happy. My religion makes me happy. It's going to be nice to be with many people who all find a great deal of happiness just in the fact that God exists; it's going to be nice to speak a certain way without alienating people.
Someday I want to write out how I feel about God and religion and Christianity specifically and how it affects most of the things I do. Not tonight; I tried that. Didn't work. But sometime.
For now, I am heading off for two days to do what this particular group calls "enjoying the Lord." (This is one of many things that they do that I like. I DON'T ALWAYS GO ON RETREATS WITH PROTESTANTS, BUT WHEN I DO...) I am going to be reminded that I am a small part of something vast and beautiful. It is going to be calming, and refreshing. I plan to do a lot of singing. I will be back in a few days feeling more ready in general to face the world.
I love you guys. <3
Well, okay, no. I mean maybe there is a spectacular Protestant joke I could have made there, but I am opting not to make it! Because I guess what I really wanted to say was that I'm going to go spend two and a half days with God.
Yeah, this a Religion Post.
...See, I'm having trouble starting this post, for a couple of different reasons. One is that I don't know how to start it without becoming immediately obtuse and boring. "So I've been thinking about God a lot lately." "I find that my life is much enriched by the presence of God, you guys." "So this Christianity thing--!"
I think the thing is, most folks (myself included) kind of figure they've heard all they really care to hear about Christianity. Which is understandable. People talk about it a lot! It's kind of a fundamental part of the religion! People stand on street corners and talk about it! They get on TV and talk about it! They stand in front of their voters and talk about it! They find you sitting alone in the union and talk to you about it! They stand on the South Oval with big signs, they hand out tracts and little pocket New Testaments. If you want to hear about Christianity, you really don't have to go very far to find it, to the point that seeing it mentioned can be kind of a mental turn-off, in the same way repeating a class you took in high school is, or sitting through a review session for a class you have an A in.
I am bad at talking about it. I don't like making people uncomfortable. I told Will the other day about the church trip I'm going on this weekend, and he said something like, "You really do take this Jesus thing pretty seriously, don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, I just don't talk about it much." "Probably for the best," he said.
I am going to enjoy myself in Texas. The people I'm going with aren't my denomination (though they don't believe in denominations, which is a great perk). I don't know many of them. I'll have to curb my swearing, be a little more demure, a little quieter. But I will also be able to talk about God, which is... not something I do very often. And that is going to be freeing. Last week, actually, was Coming Out Week, and I went to an open mic night and talked about coming out to my sister this summer. And the support I had there was beautiful! And I felt great and like myself and like I had shared an important part of me that it is not always safe to share.
This weekend is going to feel the same way, just... with a shift in topic. I admit - it's going to be nice to be able to talk about God, and about religion in my life, without being afraid of offending someone, or giving someone the wrong idea.
...Ugh, it sounds so selfish to say it like that. I guess what I mean is.... God makes me happy. My religion makes me happy. It's going to be nice to be with many people who all find a great deal of happiness just in the fact that God exists; it's going to be nice to speak a certain way without alienating people.
Someday I want to write out how I feel about God and religion and Christianity specifically and how it affects most of the things I do. Not tonight; I tried that. Didn't work. But sometime.
For now, I am heading off for two days to do what this particular group calls "enjoying the Lord." (This is one of many things that they do that I like. I DON'T ALWAYS GO ON RETREATS WITH PROTESTANTS, BUT WHEN I DO...) I am going to be reminded that I am a small part of something vast and beautiful. It is going to be calming, and refreshing. I plan to do a lot of singing. I will be back in a few days feeling more ready in general to face the world.
I love you guys. <3