[and the morning on your skin and laughter light]
So I am not looking forward to Thanksgiving break.
I want to be home. I want to be home so badly. I still love it here, I'm still glad to wake up here every morning, but I will be doing flat nothing for the next five days and I'm already dreading it. My mom's going into surgery at 7:00 tomorrow morning and I won't be there; I'll just get a call when she wakes up, and maybe she'll call me on Thursday when they let her go home. And because I have flat nothing to do, I'll be thinking about it all of Wednesday and worrying my heart out, and no amount of cello practice will help with that.
Thanksgiving is the American holiday where you remember how much you love even the people you don't always like, and I'm going to be celebrating it with strangers, and that bums me out, especially because (if I may put on my Selfish Bitch Hat for a moment) everybody else I know will be off celebrating it together. It's completely awesome of my roommate to let me infringe on her family's celebration, and I'm so happy and relieved that I'll get to celebrate it at all, but it won't be the same. I won't help cook the food; nothing on the table will be German; my mother and I will not sit and watch videos of Dutch pop stars from the 80s together after the meal while the rest of the family cuddlepiles on the living room floor.
All right. Taking off my Selfish Bitch Hat now. It will be nice to get to live alone for a few days, sleep in as much as I want without that damned ugly birdsong alarm clock going off every morning at 5:30. I will get to relax, practice a great deal, bike around Norman, read Moby-dick, write an internship essay, study fizzix, spend inordinate amounts of time on the Internet. I'll Skype my family, or pester the hell out of you all with texts. I'm making a big deal out of it, and yeah, I am really upset that I won't get to see my mother after her surgery, but all in all I think I'll be okay.
Anyway, I think half of it is just the onset of autumn. It always makes me lonely. Something about the weather getting colder makes me want to snuggle up on couches under patterned blankets with people wearing hoodies and fall asleep watching old movies. It hits home that, while I have a great many friends here, I can't really do that with any of them. But I'll find a way to enjoy these five days.
Won't mean I won't be missing the hell out of all of you. But I'll enjoy them just the same.
I want to be home. I want to be home so badly. I still love it here, I'm still glad to wake up here every morning, but I will be doing flat nothing for the next five days and I'm already dreading it. My mom's going into surgery at 7:00 tomorrow morning and I won't be there; I'll just get a call when she wakes up, and maybe she'll call me on Thursday when they let her go home. And because I have flat nothing to do, I'll be thinking about it all of Wednesday and worrying my heart out, and no amount of cello practice will help with that.
Thanksgiving is the American holiday where you remember how much you love even the people you don't always like, and I'm going to be celebrating it with strangers, and that bums me out, especially because (if I may put on my Selfish Bitch Hat for a moment) everybody else I know will be off celebrating it together. It's completely awesome of my roommate to let me infringe on her family's celebration, and I'm so happy and relieved that I'll get to celebrate it at all, but it won't be the same. I won't help cook the food; nothing on the table will be German; my mother and I will not sit and watch videos of Dutch pop stars from the 80s together after the meal while the rest of the family cuddlepiles on the living room floor.
All right. Taking off my Selfish Bitch Hat now. It will be nice to get to live alone for a few days, sleep in as much as I want without that damned ugly birdsong alarm clock going off every morning at 5:30. I will get to relax, practice a great deal, bike around Norman, read Moby-dick, write an internship essay, study fizzix, spend inordinate amounts of time on the Internet. I'll Skype my family, or pester the hell out of you all with texts. I'm making a big deal out of it, and yeah, I am really upset that I won't get to see my mother after her surgery, but all in all I think I'll be okay.
Anyway, I think half of it is just the onset of autumn. It always makes me lonely. Something about the weather getting colder makes me want to snuggle up on couches under patterned blankets with people wearing hoodies and fall asleep watching old movies. It hits home that, while I have a great many friends here, I can't really do that with any of them. But I'll find a way to enjoy these five days.
Won't mean I won't be missing the hell out of all of you. But I'll enjoy them just the same.