Relaxed, or perhaps not.
The sauna was wonderful. I'l be using it a lot in the future. Now I'm just... confused and tired again. Bloody Avon and Blake, all I wanted was to have a relaxing evening for the crew, and then Blake had to start poking his nose into private issues. *sigh* I don't want private issues in the sauna. I really don't. And even if I am not religious, I believe saunas should only be used for happy things--relaxation and good company, indulgence in the scents and feels a good sauna brings.
And then Vila... *sighs again* he 'is* sweet, but I cannot make love to him. He wouldn't like what I've become. Avon wouldn't like what I've become.
[She wraps her bathrobe tight around herself, and curls herself up into a foetal position.]
Perhaps no-one would like me sexually. I'm glad Vila is a friend. I shall value that. But... Avon, he's a mystery. He seems content with Blake, and is far more stable than when he was on Xenon. I'm very happy that he's finally found Blake. Blake steadies him, they seem to be--some ridiculously romantic term it was--"star-crossed lovers". Perhaps. I hope Avon doesn't think I'm sick. I'd very cheerfully not give a fuck, but I can't, now that I'm working for him and Blake again.
I wish I could know.
And then Vila... *sighs again* he 'is* sweet, but I cannot make love to him. He wouldn't like what I've become. Avon wouldn't like what I've become.
[She wraps her bathrobe tight around herself, and curls herself up into a foetal position.]
Perhaps no-one would like me sexually. I'm glad Vila is a friend. I shall value that. But... Avon, he's a mystery. He seems content with Blake, and is far more stable than when he was on Xenon. I'm very happy that he's finally found Blake. Blake steadies him, they seem to be--some ridiculously romantic term it was--"star-crossed lovers". Perhaps. I hope Avon doesn't think I'm sick. I'd very cheerfully not give a fuck, but I can't, now that I'm working for him and Blake again.
I wish I could know.