maybe it's just the nyquil talking...
i hate being sick. i went to sleep at like 5am, then woke up at 9am, then went to sleep at 10am, then woke up at 6pm, then went to sleep at 10pm, and then woke up at 2am. i feel all weak and gross. i hate it.
i'm starting to hate myspace. i hate myspace whores. i'm getting sick of seeing the same bulletin posted 6 times in a row. the majority of bulletins are all "comment on my pictures! tell me how beautiful i am even though i'm half dressed and photoshopped." it's annoying. i'm not going to comment your pictures or your page because you fucking tell me to. it never used to bother me really till the one person that made fun of it more than i do, started doing it. it's sad that you can tell just how much someone has changed just by their myspace. i suppose it's a bit hypocritical of me to say that. i used to really make fun of something and then i fell back into it. whatever. i don't care, he can do what he wants, it just made me realize that i hate that whole myspace thing more than i thought i did.
to elaborate more on my last post...i've decided that i don't care anymore. i want to figure out who i am and what i want. i'm not going to pretend that i like something or someone because someone else does. i'm not going to pretend that i don't know what's going on because it's "cute". i'm not going to pretend that it doesn't bother me that someone is an idiot. there's alot more to it than this, but it's just the jist of it. unfortunately, i learned most of this from garrett, in good ways and bad. he was like that, he knew who and what he liked. it bothered me sometimes, but whatever. sometimes, i tried to be more of the person he would want me to be. of course, i thought that that was who i was. whatever it was that i was, but looking back now...there were just somethings that weren't me, even if i thought they were. that was my mistake. i don't want to be someone i'm not for the sake of someone else.
for example...i hung out with sam recently. she invited her boss from industrial and his friend over to my house. sam has a crush on her boss, robert. well, apparently he likes me. he's cute so normally i'd be like "ok cool!" even though his personality blows. but i don't like this kid. he doesn't like the blood brothers and he made fun of me for downloading anime. yeah, i'm really gonna wanna date the kid. i'm going to be alot more picky now. i'm not going to seriously date someone for a long time.
i really wanted to just forget about garrett. forget he was ever a part of my life, that he meant so much to me as he did, but i just can't. i learned way too much about myself from him. i'm really tired of arguing with him and i suppose it's best that we aren't talking anymore. anytime we talk it turns into a fight. i just wish there was another way. oh well, i'm over it. i can move on.
i need to decide what i want to do with my life. i don't know what i want to be or where i want to go to school or anything like that. the whole fall out with new jersey just changed EVERYTHING. it changed my entire plan. it changed what i thought i could and couldn't do. i don't know what i can do anymore. i really have NO idea what i want to do with my life. it's fucking scary.
i'm starting to hate myspace. i hate myspace whores. i'm getting sick of seeing the same bulletin posted 6 times in a row. the majority of bulletins are all "comment on my pictures! tell me how beautiful i am even though i'm half dressed and photoshopped." it's annoying. i'm not going to comment your pictures or your page because you fucking tell me to. it never used to bother me really till the one person that made fun of it more than i do, started doing it. it's sad that you can tell just how much someone has changed just by their myspace. i suppose it's a bit hypocritical of me to say that. i used to really make fun of something and then i fell back into it. whatever. i don't care, he can do what he wants, it just made me realize that i hate that whole myspace thing more than i thought i did.
to elaborate more on my last post...i've decided that i don't care anymore. i want to figure out who i am and what i want. i'm not going to pretend that i like something or someone because someone else does. i'm not going to pretend that i don't know what's going on because it's "cute". i'm not going to pretend that it doesn't bother me that someone is an idiot. there's alot more to it than this, but it's just the jist of it. unfortunately, i learned most of this from garrett, in good ways and bad. he was like that, he knew who and what he liked. it bothered me sometimes, but whatever. sometimes, i tried to be more of the person he would want me to be. of course, i thought that that was who i was. whatever it was that i was, but looking back now...there were just somethings that weren't me, even if i thought they were. that was my mistake. i don't want to be someone i'm not for the sake of someone else.
for example...i hung out with sam recently. she invited her boss from industrial and his friend over to my house. sam has a crush on her boss, robert. well, apparently he likes me. he's cute so normally i'd be like "ok cool!" even though his personality blows. but i don't like this kid. he doesn't like the blood brothers and he made fun of me for downloading anime. yeah, i'm really gonna wanna date the kid. i'm going to be alot more picky now. i'm not going to seriously date someone for a long time.
i really wanted to just forget about garrett. forget he was ever a part of my life, that he meant so much to me as he did, but i just can't. i learned way too much about myself from him. i'm really tired of arguing with him and i suppose it's best that we aren't talking anymore. anytime we talk it turns into a fight. i just wish there was another way. oh well, i'm over it. i can move on.
i need to decide what i want to do with my life. i don't know what i want to be or where i want to go to school or anything like that. the whole fall out with new jersey just changed EVERYTHING. it changed my entire plan. it changed what i thought i could and couldn't do. i don't know what i can do anymore. i really have NO idea what i want to do with my life. it's fucking scary.