Frosted Glass Pt. 3/?
Title: Frosted Glass Pt. 3/?
Pairing(s): Main- Jongyu, side/one sided Onho, Broken Jongkyung, and Ninja! Taekey.
Genre- Angst, Romance,some smut
Rating- NC-17 ( PG-13 for this part)
Disclaimer: I don't not own the boys I only own the plot.
Summary: Jinki fell in love with his childhood best friend when they were 14. Scared that Jonghyun would hate him for it Jinki decides to slowly cut off their relationship and they drift apart. Years later Jinki is dating Minho even though he is still hung up on his first love Kim Jonghyun and he is trying to make their relationship work until Jonghyun happens to move across the street from him. The turmoil Jinki has to face starts from there.
A/N: This part is mostly Jongyu and it's a transition chapter. ( http://soojungtokki.livejournal.com/937.html , http://soojungtokki.livejournal.com/1259.html )
Jinki woke up alone feeling slightly empty. He sat up slowly in the middle of Minho’s bed half naked clutching the comforter between his somewhat short fingers feeling the cool material against the skin inside him palms. His gaze lingered around the empty dorm room before his eyes landed on a covered plate on the table with a note beside it. He rubbed at his eyes and shook his hair out with his fingers giving his already disheveled bed head an even more ridiculous fluff. Swinging his legs over the side and patting them with his hands to make sure they were awake he waddled over to the table pulling out the chair unceremoniously and sinking into it. He uncovered the plate to find simple kimchi stew over rice with a large spoon to the side. Jinki smiled because this was his second favorite breakfast after left over fried chicken his mother made but that would be impossible for Minho to acquire for him as his parents didn’t even know Minho and Jinki were like that. They knew Jinki was gay but they thought Minho and Jinki were just good friends and that Minho was actually dating Kibum. Oh the irony, Jinki thought because even his parents assumed Minho and Kibum matched better. The saddest part is that he didn’t even feel hurt by the thought. After shoving a mouthful of Kimchi stew and rice into his mouth his fingers found purchase on the note neatly folded by the glass of water Minho oh so graciously placed on the table with his food,
“Jinki ah,
I have classes until 4 today so I am just going to grab lunch with Kibum since we both have research we need to do. We are going to shovel food while writing at the same time so sorry I couldn’t have breakfast or meet you for lunch but I’ll make it up to you by taking you for dinner okay babe ! Call me if you need anything. Love you.
-Minho”
Jinki felt like another stab was punched into his back from the sweet and considerate words Minho wrote. How did he get so lucky to have Minho care about him so much yet be so unlucky to be dumb enough to be hung up on someone else so much to not be able to give the love back. Minho made him feel like more and more of an ungrateful douche bag every day but he couldn’t help his heart and at least he was really trying, if last night wasn’t a big enough example of his efforts to try he didn’t know what the hell was. “I’m so sorry I am like this Minho. I am trying. I am really trying my best for you and for me.” Jinki felt the overwhelming sadness of his whole situation and the past two days swirl in his head and clench at his heart. He dropped his spoon next to the plate losing his appetite and downed the rest of the water in the glass before getting up and throwing the food down the garbage disposal so there would be no evidence that Jinki didn’t eat it in the garbage. “It’s more sanitary this way anyways”, he thought as he zoned out to the sound of the spinning blades of the disposal.
Jinki’s shoulders hung low as he walked over to his backpack deciding to start on his paper he had meant to start two days ago but as he rifled though he realized he left his laptop at his apartment. Jinki moaned in agitation and he looked at Minho’s desk which of course didn’t have his own laptop on it because he had it with him at college for class and research with Kibum at the moment. Jinki slumped down against the wall where his backpack was sitting putting his head in his hands and brought his knees up to his chest. Jinki just couldn’t believe that he had to go back to his apartment to get it and risk being seen by Jjong but he had no choice, he needed his laptop. “Why do things keep going down hill? Is this god’s way of punishing me for being stubborn for years? It might have been selfish to protect myself but I never thought I would end up potentially hurting someone else. I never meant it and it’s not like I don’t already beat myself up enough about it. I am trying! Cut me some slack.” Jinki felt the tears break and roll down his cheek as he choked out the last words. In that moment he had never felt more torn into two than he had since agreeing to be with Minho while fully knowing he was still way in love with Kim Jonghyun. He stayed still letting the sobs vibrate silently in his chest refusing to let the sound of them ruin the air inside Minho’s dorm. Minho didn’t deserve this, he deserved someone’s full and complete love but Jinki just still wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to give it but damn if Jinki wasn’t going to try his hardest from now on because Jinki was tired of one sided love and since Jjong kissed him seemingly just to fuck with him he couldn’t take it anymore. Jinki wanted to love and be loved back by the person he loved for once in his life and if he had to work on cutting away an important piece of himself to achieve it well it was worth it wasn’t it because people had done crazier things for love right?
After minutes of fighting with himself on whether or not to just take a chance on returning to his apartment to get his laptop or not he finally decided that he had to stop letting his fear of running into Jonghyun keep him from doing important things. Though he would still try to get in and out unseen by Jjong because really Jinki didn’t think he could handle that today.
It was looking like it was going to be another rainy afternoon while Jinki slinked along the road right before his own. He got to the corner so far unnoticed by anyone of importance thought the only person of importance was just Kim Jonghyun but Jinki liked to think that it was so far so good. He darted his eyes down the street a few times before slowly turning to look around the corner ducking low but not too low that he couldn’t see over the few cars lining the street. He didn’t see the slightly shorter brunette walking down the pavement nor did he seem to be outside his own or Jinki’s apartment buildings. Jinki took a deep breath of relief and then took another for courage as he slowly and carefully made his way up to his building. Once he got to the door he never punched in his pass code so fast in his life. Once he was safely behind his own door Jinki slumped down to take off his shoes suddenly feeling exhausted. Slipping into his favorite house slippers he realized he missed his apartment a lot even though he had only been gone for two days. He missed the feeling of comfort he got seeing his own things everywhere and his own furniture that he had gotten so used to over the years but more than anything as Jinki trudged to his bedroom and his eyes fell on his own comfortable plush bed and then immediately throwing himself onto it, he knew he missed his own bed the most.
Jinki laid there his cheek caressed by his soft simple white comforter his eyes fluttering with want of sleep but Jinki didn’t have the luxury of having a sleepy reunion with his bed before his doorbell was ringing. Jinki groaned sliding off his bed like an annoyed child who was being told by his mother that he was not allowed to sleep all day even though it was vacation. Jinki had a feeling of who it was as he made his way to his door and it was making him more and more agitated with each step. Jinki pressed the button of the intercom harshly and his answering voice matched, “Yeah?” Silence for two seconds came on the other side before a calm and collected voice answered back, “Jinki let me in. I saw you come home we need to talk you didn’t let me explain before you left all angry last time. Which you apparently still are, at least let me tell you why I did it.” Jinki still got the butterflies in his stomach as he heard Jjong’s sing song tone over the intercom but he was still as Jjong mentioned was angry at him. And yet, Jinki’s heart kept screaming at him to give him a chance to explain because even though Jinki told himself that there was no way Jjong kissed him because he liked him he knew Jjong wouldn’t just kiss him because he wanted to make Jinki feel like shit. He was stupid for ever thinking that Jjong could be so cruel. Jjong was blunt, absentminded, and liked to make fun but he was never cruel. Jinki let out a deep breath, “okay I’ll hear you out because we used to be friends.” Then Jinki buzzed him in.
Jonghyun walked into Jinki’s apartment his face calm with an air of seriousness. He slipped off his shoes and waved to Jinki who was sitting in a chair by the window watching him as he moved. Jjong studied Jinki’s face and saw that he looked tired, sad, and guarded. “He’s scared”, Jjong thought to himself as he slowly made his way to Jinki who jumped a bit when Jjong reached out for him. “Don’t…just sit down or stay over there.” Jinki pointed to the area at least five feet away from him and the sofa. Jjong chose to stand as he wanted to be closer to Jinki so he could see his old friend’s face better. He had missed that face since it left angrily the other day but also Jjong had missed those lips of his. He missed how soft they had felt against his, how they melted in between his, and how warm his tongue felt against his. His missed every part of Jinki’s kiss and he prayed that Jinki would hear him out so he could maybe get to have them to himself soon.
“Well explain yourself Kim Jonghyun why did you kiss me the other day?” Jinki’s eyes were so lonely and sad that Jjong wanted to run over and wrap him up in his arms and tell him that he would never leave his side so he would never have to see his eyes this sad ever again but he just sighed and began his confession. “Jinki, I… I did it because I needed to know. I needed to know if the feelings that were pinching at my chest while you sat in front of me and told me that you loved me and when you fell in love with me were real or if they were just feelings of flattery. I told you that I thought about it for a long time but perhaps you forgot that part of the conversation. I thought about our relationship in the past and how I felt when I was around you and then I tried to remember what being in love felt like and I realized a lot of things about my relationship with Sekyung in the past. I found out that all this time I was really happiest being around you and I was happier with myself when I hung around with you. Our friendship felt more right than mine and Sekyungs relationship did. I guess what I am trying to say is that I think that this between us could be something real. It could be the love I have been dreaming and writing about for years because now I am sure that the love I thought I had with her was forced and fake but I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know any better because no one told me it could be different. You never told me to let me see that it wasn’t right. Everyone just assumed it was but it wasn’t which is why I left but I had told myself up until now that it had just run its course when I was really physically and emotionally tired from playing a role that I didn’t love. Jinki, I guess what I am trying to say is I that I want to learn to love you. If you will let me.”
Jjong rung his hands and moved closer and closer to Jinki throughout the entire speech until he was standing in front of him with his hands on his shoulders. Jjong’s gaze stayed steady with Jinki’s watching every twitch of his eyes, every movement of his face, and every slight shift of his head when Jinki fidgeted in his seat. Jinki just didn’t know what to say he never once in his dreams ever imagined Jjong to even hold his hand let alone ask to be with him. He didn’t know how to react. He stared back into Jjong’s eyes the eyes of the man he loved but Jinki just couldn’t drop everything and throw himself in Jjong’s arms this wasn’t a fairy tale he had a boyfriend and Jjong had just came back into his life and shook it from the foundation up after Jinki had spent so much time trying to forget this man. He wished he could say, “Yes Jjong, let’s ride off into the sunset on unicorns that fart sparkles and sunshine and never look back!” But no, Jinki knew this hand to be taken step by painful step before he could allow himself to be where he wanted to be and the road was one he knew would be hard to bare. “I need time.” Jjong exhaled hearing Jinki finally reply and it was far from what Jjong thought was going to come out of those lips he was yearning to capture in his own at that moment. “Why? You love me and I am willing to fall in love with you. What do you need time for?” Jinki raised up from his chair his expression shaken grasping onto Jjongs hands and holding them in between the two of them, “Minho. I need to let go of Minho.” Jjong was confused he remembered that Minho was Jinki’s boyfriend but why was Jinki looking so sad about breaking up with him as if he was the one that Jinki had loved for the longest time; it made no sense to him. “Break up with him tonight and then come to me after. I’ll be there for you if it is hard on you.”
Jinki sighed and his forehead fell on Jjong’s shoulder, “It won’t be that easy. Minho has given me nothing but his complete love and every day it has made me feel so horrible to not give someone that amazing my heart because I so stubbornly kept it locked up for someone else who I thought would never want it. Me braking up with him will be the cruelest thing I will ever do in my life. Why did he have to fall in love with me? He is just too good.” Jjong wrapped his arms around Jinki’s waist, “You sound like you care a lot about him, it’s making me jealous.” Jinki quickly lifted his head giving Jjong a scandalized look to which Jjong raised his eyebrow sliding his hands down Jinki’s sides and squeezing at them a bit, “You know I wonder how much I have to be jealous of him about?” Jinki was frozen as Jjong looked at him seriousness written all over his face as he gently pushed Jinki back against the wall next to the window. “You guys have been dating for a while and I don’t really like the fact that he’s probably kissed you hundreds of times.” Jinki blushed as Jjong ran his hand up Jinki’s right arm to his shoulder, “It’s not fair when it should have been me this whole time…” Jjong inched his face closer to Jinki’s who was so caught up in Jonghyun’s charming spell. “Did you always wish it was me instead of him?” Jinki nodded blushing and feeling horrible for it being true, “I tried so hard to love him back but I just couldn’t escape you. Always the first in my mind and always the last thought before I fall. I’m so horrible Jjong, he loves me as much as I love you.” Jjong stopped right before he was about to touch his lips to Jinki’s, “Don’t tell me that Jinki. Let me believe that you have always just been mine and that you and him have never…” Jjong’s eyebrows furrowed and his grip on Jinki’s shirt got tighter before he let out an agitated huff. “ I haven’t done that.” Jinki breathed out the words low and stuttered like flickers of a flame into the air between them, “I couldn’t because I didn’t love him. I just couldn’t…” Jinki couldn’t finish his sentence before Jjong closed the gap between them and captured Jinki’s lips into a marking kiss. It was full of Jjong pouring into Jinki how much he wanted this, how happy he was that for once in his life something besides music just felt so right. Jjong just wanted to make this moment where he and Jinki were finally on the same level to be memorable to be like their first official kiss as something more than friends and though it was something Jjong was still getting used to he was warming up to the title of lovers.
“I want to love you Jinki really love you like a person who loves someone is supposed to so I am so happy that even though you have been with Minho this long time I know that I still took up the most room in your heart.” Jinki became jelly in Jjong’s hands savoring every touch he made on his body every soft yield of his lips against his own and all the words he never dreamed that would come out of Jjong’s mouth addressed to himself dancing in his ear. They kissed like a couple who had not seen each other in months and in a way it was kind of like that really for them except this was the first day that they were on the way to being a real couple. Jinki’s heart swelled with happiness and just as he moaned from Jjong’s tongue swiping at his bottom lip playfully his cellphone jingled with a text message. First he ignored it and held onto Jjong tighter but after another five minutes of Jinki and Jjong full on making out it began to ring and it was Minho’s specific tone.
Jinki pulled away from Jjong who questioned his actions with his eyes, “I have to pick it up. I’m sorry just give me a minute.” Jjong let Jinki take the phone from out of his pocket and turn before he caught him up in a back hug while Jinki answered causing Jinki to blush. Jinki forgot how into skinship Jjong had always been.
“Hello?
-Jinki, It’s me. Where are you I finished class early and I thought we could maybe catch a movie tonight before I take you out to dinner. Did you go out to look for an apartment again today?”
No, I came home because I forgot my laptop for the paper I need to write. Uh…., look when we go out to dinner tonight I’d like to maybe talk to you about something.
-Oh, okay yeah that’s fine. So I guess no movie tonight then? It’s getting pretty dark outside and I think it’s about to pour so you should get back soon before it does so you don’t get caught up in it and risk getting sick again.
Huh? I mean yeah I’ll start making my way back soon.
-Do you know where you want to eat by the way or do you want me to choose? I think we should stay close to my place as the weather isn’t going to be great.
You pick I can never make up my mind anyways.
-Okay, I’ll try to pick something we both will love okay. See you soon then? Love you!
Uh huh, Bye.”
Jjong’s chin was resting on Jinki’s shoulder and Jinki looked up to see their reflection in the glass of the window. The glass was slightly foggy from the difference of the temperature on the inside of the apartment and the cool wet air outside but he noted how comfortable he looked wrapped up in Jjong’s arms and how handsome Jjong’s face was resting on Jinki’s shoulder. Jjong noticed that Jinki was admiring their reflections in the window and gave Jinki a smile before turning his head to whisper in his ear, “We make a nice pair don’t you think? Break up with prince Minho soon so I can call all of this my own hrmm?” and Jjong trailed kisses up Jinki’s neck to his jaw line making Jinki shiver. Before Jjong turned Jinki’s head for another deep kiss Jinki sighed, “I will try to do it as painlessly as I can.”
A/N: In the next part the Onho lovers are going to hate me but I hope you don’t hate me too much for it. Sorry this update was a bit late as well.