Hard Headed and Stubborn Hearted (Mean a Pain in Both) (8/8)
love
1. that awkward feeling in what feels like your stomach (affects how you feel and think) which causes you to do/say really stupid things
Baekhyun is scowling, face pale and slightly greenish as he glowers with his eyes narrowed. Hunched over with his backpack clutched to his stomach, he pulls the most miserable accusing expression Kyungsoo has ever seen and focuses it on Kyungsoo.
“I,” he says, voice dripping with disgust. “Hate you. I hate you so much, I’ve never hated you before but now I understand what true hatred is because this is definitely it.”
Kyungsoo grins, reaching out to pat Baekhyun on the face, his fingers still black with ink and contrasting the yellow tint to his skin. Baekhyun lurches away from him, looking mortified and wheezing out something that sounds deliciously like ‘diseased!’ as he pulls back. “I love you too, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo calls after him as Baekhyun slumps against the wall near the bathroom, looking distinctly ill.
“That,” Jongdae says, looking extremely proud. “Was awesome.”
“Why did you have to use all those images?” Chanyeol is saying weakly from somewhere behind him. “Why were there so many diagrams? Why did it have to be so traumatic?”
“Excuse me,” Baekhyun calls, breaking away as he pushes into the main throng of people headed to the cafeteria. “I have to go be sick. Hopefully on someone but I’m not entirely picky.”
“Seriously, they’ll be talking about you for years,” Jongdae tells him, patting him delightedly on the back as Kyungsoo lets himself get swept along with the rush of completing his project.
He’s done. Finally done and he’d wrapped up his presentation to most of the class slack jawed, staring in numb terror, or looking about ready to be sick on themselves. It was perfect. Mrs. Kwon looks practically exuberant as she’d given him his brief evaluation and then basically told him flat out he got a perfect grade.
A+
100 percent perfection.
Kyungsoo feels giddy, high on the fumes and light headed with excitement. It’s done and Kyungsoo feels so happy and pleased and right that he doesn’t care if Chanyeol’s delicate stomach balance has been compromised because he’s just given the best presentation of his life. And he loved every second of it.
“Kyungsoo!” has him turning, still smiling in uncharacteristic broadness as he looks through the mass of people all on their way to lunch. Some of them jerk and startle as they see him (he hasn't been able to get to the costume room yet to take off his make-up) but he doesn't care. He can feel his chest swell even greater as he looks for the caller of his name, recognizing the voice.
“See you at lunch!” Jongdae tells him with a faint pat on the back as Sehun appears in the student throng.
It takes about one second for Sehun’s hopeful expression to drop into abject terror and concern. In a flash, Kyungsoo is being pushed back, Sehun right in front of him and with his hands everywhere, looking completely distraught.
“What happened to you?” Sehun is babbling, cool hands pressing to Kyungsoo’s forehead and patting down his chest, fingers shaking to touch the ‘buboes’ at his neck. “Oh my God, what are you even doing at school? You should be in the hospital looking like- Holy shit Kyungsoo!”
And Kyungsoo is laughing, the sound bubbling up happily from him and making him shake with it, grabbing Sehun’s scrambling hands and holding them firmly in his own. “Sehun!” he says loudly over Sehun’s rushed babbling.
“Kyungsoo! You’re sick, you look like you’re dying and fuck, you-“
“Sehun! It’s make-up!” Kyungsoo speaks over him, still laughing and so happy. So happy to have Sehun here and worried and not avoiding him and his hands with his and he’s so happy. “I’m fine! I’m not sick I just did my plague presentation.”
Sehun, if anything, looks even more horrified. “That was today?” he gasps and then lets out a loud whine and look utterly crushed. “I was going to wish you luck and I didn’t know and- shit!”
“It’s fine,” Kyungsoo tells him, and watches as Sehun looks at him with apology and affection and guilt and still that hint of worry. His fingers curl back around Kyungsoo’s and it makes his chest fill even bigger. “I was fine, I did great, I-“ He almost feels too breathless to admit it. “I got an A.”
“You did?” Sehun says, sounding excited again. His cheeks are turning an adorable pink and Kyungsoo has never felt so fond of someone and also wanted to grab Sehun’s face and kiss him so hard his lips bruise. “That’s wonderful! Congratulations! I knew you’d do an amazing job, even if you didn’t have my luck, but you totally should have had it anyway even if I didn’t say it because-“ Kyungsoo starts laughing again. He missed hearing Sehun babble like an idiot. “Anyway, I’m so happy you’re done and I bet you were awesome. That’s so-“
“Kyungsoo!” cuts Sehun off and startles both of them. Kyungsoo feels himself stiffen and Sehun goes rigid, jerking back with his eyes wide. Before Kyungsoo can stop him, Sehun is tugging his hands from Kyungsoo’s and stepping back, as if he’s been burned, staring down the hall at Yixing as he runs towards them.
There isn’t even a moment for Kyungsoo to brace himself before Yixing is barreling into him with a huge gripping hug, laughing delightedly as he hugs him so tight.
“Congratulations!” Yixing says in a high breathless excited voice. Over his shoulder, Kyungsoo can see Sehun’s face crumble, his lower lip pulling between his teeth before it shuts down, closing off and Sehun is stepping back. Goddamnit. “I Just heard!” Yixing says, pulling back to hold Kyungsoo at arms length, fingers gripping around Kyungsoo’s shoulders. “Holy damn, you look horrifying! No wonder he looked sick!”
“Yeah,” Kyungsoo says weakly, wanting so badly to just shove Yixing off. “I’m supposed to have the plague.”
“You look so horrible, wow!” Yixing’s cheeks are pink from running and his eyes are dancing in excitement. “Baekhyun said you got a perfect grade on the project! That’s so wonderful I’m so happy for you!”
“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says, still smiling and still breathless even if he feels incredibly displaced. He glances to the side just as Sehun turns and mutters something before striding off.
It hits, hard, and Kyungsoo decides this is it.
“I mean, you’ve been working on it for ages and, seriously, I’m so glad those welts aren’t real, because-“
“Yixing,” Kyungsoo says, grabbing his hand before Yixing can poke at the latex wounds at his neck or get closer. Yixing blinks, mouth open as he’s stopped in mid speech. Kyungsoo takes in a deep breath, fits his hand against Yixing’s chest, and pushes gently until Yixing takes a step back. “Thank you,” he says, trying to put as much sincerity into his voice as he can. He is grateful, but he has something more important than listening to Yixing congratulate him right now. “Really, thank you so much. For- for everything.”
Yixing’s eyebrows knit together and he gives a sort of confused smile. “You’re welcome, I guess.”
“I mean it,” Kyungsoo says, because he does. Stepping back from Yixing, he squeezes his fingers once before letting them drop. “I really mean that. You helped me a lot over the last month or so and I just- right now I need to go do something.”
“Okay?” Yixing says, still looking confused as he watches Kyungsoo step back from him. Step down the hall to where Sehun had walked down and where Kyungsoo needs to be right now. “What do you have to do?”
“I have to try to make sure my story doesn’t turn into a tragedy,” Kyungsoo says, and smiles, turning away from Yixing’s confused and slightly shocked smile before he jogs down the hall with his heart beating hard in his chest.
It's near the theater rooms that Kyungsoo finally manages to spot Sehun. He’d barely dropped his bags off at the lunch booth before running off, feeling that nervous apprehension burning in him that happens after he does a performance or, in this case, presentation. He’s already having the delayed anxiety, and he can feel the rush from the completion of his project mix with it to make him feel like he’s filled with acid.
“Sehun!” Kyungsoo yells, and nearly trips over his own feet when Sehun jerks to the sound of his voice. For a split second, Sehun’s face looks hopeful, bright and open and so happy to see him and then it falls. “Sehun!” Kyungsoo yells again and doesn't think about being too loud as he hurries towards the end of the hall where Sehun is walking into-“
“Jesus!” Sehun yells as Kyungsoo grabs him, skidding a bit as Sehun wobbles and nearly slamming them into the walls. “Kyungsoo! I’m just-“
“I didn’t mean it!” Kyungsoo babbles, staring at him with his heart pounding too fast.
“What?”
“I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean him, I don’t mean- I mean he means, or, you mean, It's not what you think!” Kyungsoo has no idea what he’s saying, just that Sehun is looking at him with incredibly wide eyes and his breaths are short as they fan against his face.
“Okay, whatever it is you’re trying to say is seriously scaring the shit out of me because you sound delirious and you look like you’re dying,” Sehun tells him with his voice a bit too tight. “Please tell me you’re not dying, I really don’t want you to die.”
“I’m not dying,” Kyungsoo tells him firmly. “It's all make-up. Zitao helped me put it on for my presentation and-“
“Zitao?” Sehun’s face pales. “You know Zi- how do you know Zitao?”
“Kabuki and he threatened me,” Kyungsoo waves off. “But-“
“He threatened you?”
“Sehun! Listen to me!”
“You look like you should be hospitalized, how am I supposed to listen to you when you look like you’re about to keel over dead and I have to pee!” Sehun half yells and his cheeks are so pink and his eyes are so big and terrified.
“You-“ Kyungsoo blinks. “You have to pee?”
“Oh my god,” Sehun wheezes, slumping back and trying to push Kyungsoo off of him. “Where the hell did you think I was going?”
Looking up Kyungsoo realizes they’re standing just outside the boys bathroom near the theater rooms. “Oh,” he says. “Okay, so, go pee and- and then I really have to talk to you.” Sehun gives him a look that looks so restrained, like he’s pleading for Kyungsoo to just let him go. “Please.”
Finally letting out a huge shaking sigh, Sehun shoves him off, turning and shuffling quickly into the bathroom and yelling a quick “fine!” as he goes. Sehun ends up, for some reason, locking himself in one of the stalls (despite the fact that there are urinals) and Kyungsoo stares at himself in the bathroom mirror.
He really does look terrifying. Taking in his appearance, he’s not surprised really at how people react to him with near terror and shock because, honestly, he looks about three minutes away from confirmed death.
“Fuck,” Sehun says, finally emerging from the stall and looking immediately like he wants to go back inside. “You seriously-“
“I know,” Kyungsoo says, and tries to push down the nerves that won’t seem to leave him alone. “Look, I was going to take it off in the costume room before lunch but-“
“Good,” Sehun says, and looks a bit paler than usual. “I seriously don’t even know if I can eat lunch now after seeing you like this. Like, I doubt that Chanyeol and Baekhyun will be able to eat anything. This might be the first lunch that they-“
“I need to talk to you,” Kyungsoo says.
“Do you have to look like that?” Sehun asks, and his voice is so weak. “You- you look like you’re dying and- Kyungsoo, it’s so scary.” Looking at Sehun’s face, the way his eyes flicker and his breaths are too short, the way his hands look like they’re almost shaking, Kyungsoo realizes.
Sehun is scared. He knows Kyungsoo isn’t actually dying, but-
“Come on,” Kyungsoo says, reaching forward and grabbing Sehun around the wrist. It’s damp from him washing his hands, but still warm and Kyungsoo feels a jump of warmth through him. It keeps the pounding of his heart in his ears as he tugs Sehun into the costume room and gives Zitao (who apparently spends all his time in here) a pointed look.
“I have to go,” Zitao announces as Sehun hesitates at the door. He flashes Kyungsoo a meaningful look as he passes and closes the door pointedly behind him.
“Sit,” Kyungsoo says, pointed at the chair Chanyeol had used before as he grabs a container of cold cream. He takes in a deep breath, and then opens it with shaking hands, pulling tissues and rubbing the stuff into the mak- up covering his arms and neck, trying to keep himself from shaking.
“Kyungs-“
“I’m not dating Yixing,” Kyungsoo says firmly. “I'm not dating him, and I never was dating him, and I’m never going to date him.”
“Kyung-“
“I don’t want to date him,” Kyungsoo barrels on. “He’s nice, but so are dogs, and that doesn’t mean I have to be a dog person. I just like cats, and even if he’s really nice, I’d rather be with cats. I love cats.” Sehun’s eyebrows are furrowed in confusion. “And cats like me,” Kyungsoo finishes.
For a long moment, Sehun just stares at him, and Kyungsoo stills with cold cream smeared on his skin. “You like cats,” Sehun says slowly, wetting his lips. Kyungsoo nods. Then Sehun sighs, standing up and grabbing some of the tissues. “Thank God this comes off,” Sehun sighs, drawing the tissue in his hand over Kyungsoo’s arm and cleaning the make-up from it. Under the yellow pallor and make-up is Kyungsoo’s healthy skin. “Don’t do that to people, Kyungsoo. People care about you, and when you-“
“You care,” Kyungsoo says, staring at Sehun. Standing so close, Kyungsoo can see the slight pink at the tip of Sehun’s nose, the way his eyes shine a little too much. “You are about me. A lot.”
“Of course I care about you!” Sehun says, sounding exasperated as he grabs the cold cream and reaches for Kyungsoo’s face. He’s not as gentle when he smears the cream on Kyungsoo’s skin, instead his face pinched and cheeks turning blotchy. “I’ve always cared about you! Just because I spend a few days not talking to you or- Kyungsoo, you idiot. Yes, I care about you.”
“Because you like me.” Kyungsoo’s skin flares where Sehun is swiping away the disease make-up, the tissue rough in contrast to the soft touch of his fingers.
“No shit,” Sehun huffs, though when he swallows Kyungsoo can see how tight his throat is. Working hard and his adam’s apple bobbing. “Of course I like you. I wouldn’t be your friend if I didn’t-“
“No, I mean you-“ Sehun’s hand stills on his neck, peeling off one of the latex buboes “-don't like me as a friend you like me-“ Sehun’s breath is short, his eyes widening as he stares at Kyungsoo and his face pales and pinks at the same time in blotchy shock “-more than that.”
Instead of looking surprised, or perhaps relieved, Sehun looks mortified. Tongue flashing out to his lips, Sehun steps back quickly, pulling away and his eyes swim in hurt. Betrayal. “You knew?” he asks and his voice sounds so small, so disbelieving. “You-“ he takes in a shaking breath, and he looks so- so small. Like Kyungsoo has just lied to him and punched him for good measure. “You knew!?”
“Well-“
“You knew I liked you!” Sehun wheezes, his voice cracking too high as it rises. “Fuck,” he swears and suddenly there are tears spilling down his face as he backs up. “You knew the whole time? You knew I liked you and you still- you- Kyungsoo, you just- fuck!”
“I didn’t-“
“I felt awful!” Sehun half yells, and reaches up furiously to brush at his tears with the backs of his hands. He sniffs, hard, and shakes his head. “Every time I pushed or said something where I thought I was keeping you to myself, where I thought you didn’t know and every time- Kyungsoo I felt so- you used me!”
“No, I-!”
“Do you have any idea how much it sucked to watch you, to tell you give Yixing a fucking chance because I hated seeing you so stupid and unhappy and I thought-“ Sehun is taking in gulping gasps for air, tears streaming down his face. This isn’t what Kyungsoo wanted to have happen at all. This is not what he meant to have happen. “I thought I was doing the right thing and then- then you kept just coming back! And I thought it was because you trusted me and I- you bastard!”
“I didn’t know!” Kyungsoo yells finally, loud and it rips on his voice so it hurts. “Sehun, shut up a second!”
“No!” Sehun says, stomping his foot and violently wiping his nose on his shirtsleeve with a loud wet sniff. “No, I’m not going to shut up. Screw being quiet, I hate being quiet because I’m upset because you know what? My feelings do matter and I-“
“I know!” Kyungsoo says, raising his voice over Sehun. There isn’t enough air in his lungs, or throat, and he can hear his pulse pounding in his ears. “I know they matter! That's what I’m trying to tell you! They matter to me and I didn’t-“
“They-“
“I didn’t know before,” Kyungsoo barrels on. “I didn’t know and I didn’t understand but now I do and I don't want Yixing or anyone else because I want you!”
Sehun is staring at him, eyes wide and with tears wet down his blotchy pink cheeks and nose bright pink from crying and his lips redder than usual. Sehun has snot on his shirt sleeve, and Kyungsoo doesn't care. Sehun doesn’t look handsome or manly or cute or funny or hot he just looks like he’s so stunned he’s forgotten for a moment how to breathe.
“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo says, and his voice is rough from yelling and his throat being so tight. Hastily wiping the cold cream from his hands, he can feel his hands shaking when he pushes his soft hair from his face, staring up at Sehun. “I’m sorry because I didn’t know, and it took me so long to figure it out, but I don’t want a stupid manly man or someone who is what I think I want or someone other people think I want because I know what I want even if I’m a stupid high school student who doesn't know what I want.”
It sounds so disordered and confusing but it feels better to just say it. Sehun’s eyes flicker, and he’s still got water leaking from his eyes as he stares at Kyungsoo. He takes in a shaking breath, just staring at him, as if he’s afraid to move. The licks his lips. “You are a stupid high school student.”
“So are you,” Kyungsoo says, and steps forward. Sehun doesn’t move away, or flinch or do anything aside from stare at him with those flickering eyes. “And I guess that means that I’m still figuring out what things really mean, and what I really feel.”
“What you feel?” Sehun asks, and his voice is light, breathless. “I thought you didn't like feelings.”
“Well, this mostly feels like my heart is a flipping pancake and my stomach is a writhing nest of snakes,” Kyungsoo says. “But you make me feel so happy when I’m with you, and it’s comfortable and safe and I get annoyed when you bother me but even more annoyed when you don’t. And I really, really like you.”
“You suck,” Sehun says as Kyungsoo steps closer, into his personal space. He gives a shaking little hiccupping breath as Kyungsoo reaches up and brushes away some of the lines of tears down his splotchy teenage face. “You look like a plague victim and you can’t confess for shit and-“
“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo says, and that too big everything in him is back. Where he feels too small for how big he feels and yet everything is okay and nothing makes sense but it does.
“Stop apologizing, you idiot,” Sehun lets out a weak wet laugh. “I’m happy.” For someone who looks completely miserable, face stained with tears and mouth twitching between a prominent frown and a weird pained smile, Sehun doesn’t look happy. But he does lean into Kyungsoo’s hand and finally let out a shaking breath. “As long as you are.”
There it is.
The smile that threatens to spread over his face is too big, but Kyungsoo doesn’t stop it. “Sehun?”
“What?” mumbles from Sehun as he sniffs and glances up to meet Kyungsoo’s eyes. Sehun’s eyes are lined in red and puffy and his lips are bright and shining from him biting them a moment before. “You really look horrible, you know.”
“So do you, honestly,” Kyungsoo tells him, and Sehun frowns at him in a small pout. Kyungsoo’s heart flip-flops hard against his chest. “Can I kiss you?”
“Can you-“ Sehun’s eyes widen, his breath catching a little. “You just told me I looked horrible and you want to kiss me? You’re dressed like a victim of a plague and it's the middle of lunch and- I don’t want you to if you don’t -“
“Sehun,” Kyungsoo says, watching as Sehun babbles and his cheeks go pinker and it’s cute and entirely Sehun. Nervous but there and honest and Kyungsoo can’t help but smile at him. “Can I please just kiss you?”
“Are you contagious?” Sehun asks in a smaller voice, and his eyes flicker so fast between Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo lets out a nervous laugh of his own and shakes his head no. He can feel it, the soft numb feeling where he’s not allowed himself to get scared even if he is and the adrenalin is going to crash into him in just a second and leave him shaking but he needs to do this. “I-“ Sehun nervously wets his lips, and Kyungsoo lets his eyes flicker to them for a moment, his breath hitching. “Um, yes.”
Breath rushing from him in a whoosh, Kyungsoo manages to get out an “okay, good,” before he’s reaching up with his other hand, cupping Sehun’s face, and pulling him down into a kiss. He misses, actually, and manages to smack their noses together that earns a loud yelp from Sehun and Kyungsoo starts laughing, the first click of release right as he leans up and tries again.
This time, Kyungsoo doesn’t miss, and the soft press of Sehun’s lips to his own sends a shiver through him that isn’t a rush or a crash of feelings. It’s just warm, spreading through him comfortable and happy and sweet, just like Sehun. He leans into it, pulling Sehun closer and letting his fingers drift to bury in Sehun’s hair as he feels Sehun kiss him back. It’s nervous, almost like Sehun isn’t sure if it’s okay.
So Kyungsoo kisses him harder, again and again until his breaths are too hot and his mind is going a little fizzy with how nice kissing Sehun is. He really likes kissing Sehun, enough that he keeps going, encouraging Sehun for more, feeling little tingles every time Sehun gives a little more, kisses him more and his lips catch Kyungsoo’s with more insistence.
Pulling and leaning up, Kyungsoo tugs Sehun down into his kisses, mouth parting and getting Sehun’s to do the same, a shiver going through him as Sehun lets out a soft little sound. He wants more, tugging gently at Sehun’s soft hair and his breath catches as Sehun’s hands come to rest against his sides. Leaning up, with arms wrapping around Sehun’s neck, Kyungsoo kisses him one more time, long and with feeling, reveling in the feeling of Sehun’s hands on his waist, holding him steady.
Reveling in the way that Sehun kisses him back, just as much behind the kiss, and how he feels like everything inside him is shivering light.
Opening his eyes, he looks up at Sehun, his dazed blinking eyes meeting Kyungsoo’s and lets out a shaky laugh from his smile. “You,” Kyungsoo says, smiling up at Sehun and feeling okay.
It's okay, everything is okay, because Sehun is Sehun and Kyungsoo is Kyungsoo and Sehun likes Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo likes Sehun. Nothing about that is wrong or makes what Kyungsoo likes or doesn’t like any more or less important because in the end, he likes Sehun the most.
“I like you the most,” Kyungsoo says, smiling so big it feels like it’ll burst from him. He keeps smiling as Sehun’s eyes crease in a matching smile, his lips curved up in that wide grin that he only shows to people he’s comfortable with, and Kyungsoo is happy.
Incredibly, fantastically, happy.
-
It’s movie night.
This means that unlike the other nights where Kyungsoo is dragged to the theater by Baekhyun to sit through some shitbrained comedy, it’s just Sehun and him. This means that there’s a huge bowl of nachos on the floor, Kyungsoo is spread out on the couch, and Sehun is using him as his own human sized cuddle.
This means that they’re watching some movie Sehun picked out about sea monsters that are actually aliens and Kyungsoo has been running his fingers through Sehun’s hair for the last twenty minutes. Movie night now means Sehun sighing happily against where he’s pillowed his head on Kyungsoo’s chest, wrapped around him, and refuses to feed Kyungsoo any nachos.
“You have hands,” Sehun says loftily, popping another nacho into his mouth and getting chip crumbs on the couch and, incidentally, Kyungsoo. “You can feed yourself.”
“I was the one that made the nachos,” Kyungsoo reminds him, his hand pausing as he twists a lock of Sehun’s hair between his fingers. “Consider this your way of thanking me.”
“My way of thanking you is by actually saying thank you,” Sehun informs him, popping another nacho into his mouth and chewing pointedly. He shifts a bit, purposefully wiggling a bit more against Kyungsoo. “So, thank you for making the nachos, Kyungsoo. Feed yourself.”
“Brat,” Kyungsoo scolds without heat, and smiles a bit as Sehun clicks his tongue softly.
Not a lot has changed. If anything, most of it is exactly the same. Sehun is still the exact same as he was before, except with a bit less teen angst, and Kyungsoo is still himself, though perhaps a bit less tense all the time. Chanyeol gave a bang out presentation on Typhoid and Baekhyun managed to completely come out of left field and get himself an A for his project on Spontaneous Human Combustion.
Baekhyun also accidentally set himself on fire with the demonstration, and admitted later to the lunch table that his impromptu demonstration of what to do if you spontaneously combust was entirely made up.
The only real difference is that Kyungsoo smiles more and there isn’t any hesitancy to let Sehun intertwine their fingers or lean on him. There are kisses now involved in how they touch all the time, and that one time Kyungsoo found out some really interesting sounds Sehun makes when he has his tongue sucked on. Overall though, it’s just them.
It’s not overly romantic, or dramatic, and Kyungsoo is happy.
“Hey,” Sehun says, rolling over onto his stomach and resting his chin on Kyungsoo’s chest. He has his hair pushed back from Kyungsoo’s fingers running through it. They’re not officially dating, but they are, well, a thing. They’re still just going a bit slow on things.
Mostly because…
“Hey,” Kyungsoo answers, pushing Sehun’s hair back again from his face and letting his fingers slip through the soft strands.
Sehun gives a small little frown, and wets his lips, leaving them glossy and pink. “Did you talk to him yet?”
Because of Yixing.
“I was going to talk to him on Monday,” Kyungsoo tells him, feeling a bit of that stone weight sink into his stomach. Right about where Sehun’s jacket zipper is digging into him. “Take him aside during lunch and just-“
“Okay,” Sehun says, and doesn’t get annoyed, just smiles sweet. He takes in a soft quick breath, and scrunches up his face again, as if wanting to say something.
“What?” Kyungsoo asks, letting his hand drop from Sehun’s hair to tug on his ear gently. Just like Sehun used to do to him.
“I just-“ Sehun bites his lip again, eyes clouded before he lets out a soft sort of determined sigh. “Are you happy?”
“No,” Kyungsoo says and Sehun’s eyes widen in dismay. Kyungsoo simply raises his eyebrows pointedly. “You keep refusing to feed me nachos, how could I-“
Kyungsoo is cut off as Sehun shoves his hand over his face, pushing him back into the couch with an exasperated huff. It sends Kyungsoo laughing, trying to shove Sehun’s hand off of him as his boyfriend, his boyfriend begins rambling heatedly about stupid assholes and their no-good nacho pride.
The rambling only stops when Kyungsoo kicks Sehun off the couch and Sehun ends up with a shriek glaring up at him from the floor with his elbows in said nachos. “Jerk,” Sehun grumbles, but the huff on his voice vanishes when Kyungsoo leans down and kisses him. He tastes like salt and cheese and Kyungsoo gives a little lick that makes Sehun shiver against him. “That’s cheating.” The smile on Sehun’s face suggests he doesn’t mind though.
“I know,” Kyungsoo says, and pecks his cheek, pulling Sehun back onto the couch with him. “And I am happy,” he reassures, and watches as Sehun’s smile lights up. “Really.”
“Well, I mean you are dating me, so-“ Sehun snuffles into laughter as Kyungsoo tugs him down, shutting him up by burying Sehun’s face in the crook of his neck and his grin in the side of Sehun’s head. Sehun isn’t the stereotypical boyfriend, the perfect guy or the ideal man, but he makes Kyungsoo happy, no matter how manly he is or whatever else he might be.
-
real friend
a person who makes your problems theirs and tries to help you through them… however sometimes creating them
When Yixing smiles, really smiles, he looks the strange combination of devastatingly handsome and completely adorable. He even has one dimple that presses into his cheek while the other side of his face is smoothly perfect. His eyes light up, and his lips spread so pretty and the creases around his eyes look almost childlike. He laughs easily and sometimes claps when he does and will listen intently or intensely involve himself in a conversation where he just dominates with his energy.
It’s dizzying.
But when Yixing smiles, it’s like the biggest crime in the universe would be to take that smile off his face.
Across the table, Sehun is giving him a pointed look. The same look is mirrored on Zitao’s, Seulgi’s, Sunyoung’s, Jongdae’s, and Chanyeol’s faces. The only person who doesn't seem to be making it their life mission to stare Kyungsoo into immediate guilt is Baekhyun. As Baekhyun is currently involved in trying to get Yixing to watch him balance a water bottle on his head though, Kyungsoo isn’t really surprised.
“Um,” Kyungsoo says, turning to Yixing and laying his hand over the hand Yixing has casually let rest against his knee. Yixing turns to him, eyes wide and blinking and expectant. “I need to talk to you.”
“Okay,” says Yixing, and sits, blinks once, waiting expectantly.
Literally the entire table is watching them. Even as Kyungsoo glances and sees them all diligently eating their lunches, he knows they’re watching them. “Um,” Kyungsoo starts, and Baekhyun finally seems to realize something is happening and no one is watching him try to train for the circus.
“Is something wrong?” Yixing asks him, and the hand on Kyungsoo’s thigh squeezes.
Stiffening, Kyungsoo tries not to lose his nerves. His eye catches on Sehun’s a little down the table and he takes in a quick steadying breath. “Well, not, um, not with you.”
How is Kyungsoo supposed to break up with someone he’s not sure he was ever really dating in the first place.
Yixing’s smile is gone and Kyungsoo is pretty sure a little part of him is going to go to Hell. “What?”
“I mean, there was nothing wrong with you, you’re great, really great and I like you a lot and you’re really nice and anyone would be lucky to have you,” Kyungsoo says in one long breath and has to take a sharp breath in. Swallowing at Yixing’s slowly spreading shock, he glances to the side. At Baekhyun. “Like Baekhyun. Baekhyun would be super lucky to have you. Because you’re amazing and he loves your pecs and never shuts up about them. Or your thighs.”
Baekhyun’s face is slowly transforming into a mix of shock and mild disbelief, like he can’t believe what Kyungsoo is saying.
Kyungsoo can’t believe what he’s saying, and when he looks back at Yixing, Yixing also looks so shocked and confused, almost like he’s worried Kyungsoo is sick.
“Are you okay?” Yixing asks, and he even sounds concerned.
“I just-“ Kyungsoo is really not good at this. “I like you a lot, Yixing, but as a friend.” Yixing’s eyebrows furrow suddenly, and he looks even more muddled. “But only as a friend, and I didn’t mean to lead you on or-“
“Wait,” Yixing says, blinking quickly and leaning back a little. Gone is the hand on Kyungsoo’s thigh. Gone is the shock, replaced by confusion and dawning comprehension all that once. “Wait you thought- you thought I’ve been trying to date you.”
Kyungsoo blinks, shocked at the completely gobsmacked look on Yixing’s face. Across from them, Baekhyun looks like someone has just smacked him with a brick. “Well,” Kyungsoo says, suddenly feeling very stupid. “Yes?”
“But-!” Yixing is reeling back, looking confused and hurt and guilt and then annoyed all in quick concession. He looks at Kyungsoo, then at Baekhyun, then at the table, then at Kyungsoo, back at Baekhyun, and then back at Kyungsoo with a sort of confounded look on his face. “Kyungsoo, why would I be trying to date you?”
There is a sort of collective hush over the table, most everyone completely ignoring their attempts to look like they’re not eavesdropping by staring blatantly. Kyungsoo feels incredibly lost, staring at Yixing’s befuddled expression and having no idea how to answer that. “You mean you weren’t trying to date me?”
“Why would you think that?” comes a new voice, and Kyungsoo jerks to look up at Jongin as the freshman walks up to the table. He’s holding his lunch tray and frowning at Kyungsoo in confusion. “Yixing’s been going out with Baekhyun since the first week of school.”
That soft slow feeling of having ice and lead sink into every inch of his body fills Kyungsoo, and he slowly turns his head to rest his focus on Baekhyun. Aside from the shock of Jongin actually noticing something before everyone else, Kyungsoo is pretty sure that what’s occurring in his body is blind fury. Wisely, Baekhyun looks about three seconds from screaming bloody murder and running for his life.
Which would be a very good idea, considering Kyungsoo very much wants to strangle him right now.
“You what?!” Kyungsoo ends in a yell that silences half the cafeteria.
“Hey,” Baekhyun says, shrinking down into his seat one second and then leaping out the next when Kyungsoo twitches towards him. “Look, it wasn’t- I was going to tell you but- well, then it just kept going and it was so funny but then-“ Kyungsoo actually growls at him, tense and feeling rigid as he glares at his so call ‘best friend’. “Okay, so not super funny. But look! Now we’re all friends and it’s that great? Hurray!”
Baekhyun lets out this horrible very weak sounding wheeze of laughter that dies very quickly.
“So the whole time,” Yixing says, staring in a slow scowl of comprehension between Kyungsoo and Baekhyun. “You thought I was trying to date you? Not try to get to know you as a friend? I thought Baekhyun told you he was nervous about, well, us dating.”
“No,” Kyungsoo growls, and Baekhyun lets out a soft little whimper. “He didn’t.”
For some unfathomable reason to Kyungsoo, Yixing starts laughing, leaning into the booth with his head thrown back and shaking with amusement as he looks at Baekhyun. “You asshole,” he laughs, staring at his apparent boyfriend in sparkling wonderful amusement.
“I’m gonna kill you,” Kyungsoo tells Baekhyun in cold firm toneless rage. “I am going to kill you. Right now.”
“Not if you can’t catch me,” Baekhyun quips, and lets out an almighty scream the next moment as Kyungsoo launches over Yixing and out of the booth. Tearing after his ‘best friend’ as Baekhyun sprints out of the cafeteria, Kyungsoo swears on everything he owns that he’s going to lock Baekhyun in a tank and fill it with every single bug he knows exists for Baekhyun putting him through this shit.
Sat down in the principals office, Baekhyun with a bloody lip and a black eye and Kyungsoo with raw knuckles, Baekhyun finally turns to him. “It got out of hand,” he admits.
“Yes,” Kyungsoo growls at him, still fuming. He refuses to look at him. “It did, you son of a fuckhead.”
Baekhyun winces. “I’m sorry,” Baekhyun says quietly.
Kyungsoo stills, finally turning to him. It’s so rare that Baekhyun apologizes that sometimes Kyungsoo forgets that he knows how to do it. “Why didn’t you just tell me like a normal person? Did you really have to fuck around with me and screw me up just for a laugh?”
“You say that like you expect me to be a normal person,” Baekhyun says with a soft chuckle and glances at Kyungsoo from the side. “You know better than that.” Kyungsoo makes as if to jab Baekhyun in the side with his elbow and Baekhyun flinches away with a soft yelp. “I was scared.”
“Scared?” Kyungsoo asks in disbelief. “You were more scared to tell me you had a damn boyfriend than to try to get me to date your stupid boyfriend and watch as it all spiraled to Hell?” Baekhyun gives him a weak twisted smile. “You sick masochistic shit head.”
“I was scared to actually date him,” Baekhyun clarifies. He licks his lips, and Kyungsoo, still frowning, stares at him, listening. “I mean, yeah, he’s really nice and, well, I like him. But every other person I like ends up being nuts or a bag of moldy dicks so I don’t really trust myself when I like people. And I just- I was scared I’d fuck up someone who was, well-“
“Decent,” Kyungsoo finishes for him, and feels a little less angry.
“Yeah,” Baekhyun says. “That’s it. So, I kind of just did what I do best and just-” he makes a strange sort of hand motion “-mucked up everything so I didn’t have to think about it.”
“You’re a horrible person,” Kyungsoo tells him flatly.
“Yeah, but at least I know that,” Baekhyun says with a grin. “I never expected you to actually go along with stuff and get so wrapped up in it.” Kyungsoo glares at him again, jaw tensing. After everything that happened, he finds out that it was all just a mess. Not even specifically a mess that he put himself in, though Kyungsoo’s mess ended up being a bit different, but none the less a mess that wasn’t even specifically his fault. “But I am sorry,” Baekhyun says again.
“You should probably apologize to Yixing too,” Kyungsoo tells him gruffly. “And Sehun. And all of us.” He lets out a breath. “Asshole,” he adds.
“I will,” Baekhyun says and then leans back with a sigh. “Even I have to know when the joke is over and my time on the stage is up.” He grins, looking back at Kyungsoo with a bit of an apologetic slant to his mouth. “Still friends?”
Studying him for a moment, Kyungsoo doesn’t get a chance to answer him as the Principal calls for them. As they’re leaving the office, having explained what happened and both been given a week of detention, Kyungsoo finally turns to Baekhyun and stops him with a tug at his wrist.
“Maybe,” he tells him firmly, and Baekhyun looks a bit pleased. “But if you do something like this again, I swear to God I’m going to murder you.”
“Hey, just look at it this way,” Baekhyun says, reaching up and clapping Kyungsoo on the shoulder. “If I hadn’t fucked up your life, you and Sehun would still be playing ring-a-round the feelings.” He grins, winking once before stepping back, leaving Kyungsoo feeling both furious and amused and giddy, which is a strange mix of things to feel. “You can thank me later!” Baekhyun calls over his shoulder.
“You okay?” Sehun asks when he sees Kyungsoo later after school, looking a bit worried.
“Yeah,” Kyungsoo says, sighing and feeling lighter despite the weight of detention for the next week. He looks up at Sehun, and smiles, because maybe Baekhyun was right. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m great.” He reaches up, cupping the back of Sehun’s neck gently with his hand and just holding him, smiling and feeling warm. “Never better.”
Sehun rolls his eyes, throwing an arm over Kyungsoo’s shoulders and tucking him to his side, letting Kyungsoo lean on him as he bows to him. “Only you could say you’re fine after getting detention for a week with bloody knuckles.”
“Things could be worse,” Kyungsoo says.
“I know,” Sehun says, and looks down at him with a smug smile. “That’s why you have me.”
Kyungsoo smiles, happy and full and content as he leans in, happy to be what he is, how he is, and who he is. Happy just to be himself.
✏
School’s Out
✏
NOTES: CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING TO THE END OF THIS! If you made it this far, I have so much admiration and respect for you for holding out to get here. It’s definitely been a bit of a trip and I don’t blame you if you want to strangle me (or Baekhyun) for putting you through this. Dear recipient, I sincerely hope that you liked this. I tried to write something I thought might be fun and hope that, if you did read this, you enjoyed it ~ To everyone else who read this, you are all champions and thank you for reading!
Things mentioned. In the first segment, the anime mentioned that Kyungsoo fell asleep to is ‘madoka magica’. Viewer discretion advised.
The commercial for the ASPCA mentioned in Kyungsoo and Sehun’s conversation about animal adoption was aired back in the early 2000’s years. The song was “Angel” sung by Sarah McLachlan.
The song ‘Hold On’ is an actual piece by Moses Hogan, a famous spiritual composer in the 90’s.
All of the research and information from Kyungsoo about the Black Death is correct, and can be found online through various sources.
Insung and Hyojin are Jo In-Sung and Gong Hyo-jin who were Kyungsoo’s costars in the drama he was in “It’s Okay, That’s Love” and Kyungsoo is, in real life, good friends with In-sung.
The movies Yixing listed at the independent theater are Miss Potter (2006), The Iron Lady (2011), and Kinky Boots (2005).
The song played in Kyungsoo’s plague presentation ‘Scarborough Fair’ is an old traditional tune about two lovers in the time of the plague.