a little steve & frank humor
wow, after sleeping til 1:30, this really brightened up my morning/afternoon..
>>>Subject: Hades Theory
>>>
>>>
>>>The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
>>>Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
>>>"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
>>>Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying
>>it
>>>as well.
>>>
>>>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
>>>(absorbs heat)?
>>>
>>>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
>>>(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
>>>variant.
>>>
>>>One student, however, wrote the following:
>>>
>>>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>>>need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
>>>at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
>>>soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>>>
>>>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
>>>Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
>>>that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
>>>Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
>>>belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
>>Hell.
>>>
>>>With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
>>>souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
>>>change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
>>>for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
>>>Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>>>
>>>This gives two possibilities:
>>>
>>>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>>>enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
>>>until all Hell breaks loose.
>>>
>>>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>>Hell,
>>>then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>>>
>>>So which is it?
>>>
>>>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>>>that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take
>>into
>>>account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
>>>true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
>>>over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,
>>it
>>>follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
>>>extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
>>>being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
>>>Subject: Hades Theory
>>>
>>>
>>>The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
>>>Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
>>>"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
>>>Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying
>>it
>>>as well.
>>>
>>>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
>>>(absorbs heat)?
>>>
>>>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
>>>(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
>>>variant.
>>>
>>>One student, however, wrote the following:
>>>
>>>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>>>need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
>>>at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
>>>soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>>>
>>>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
>>>Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
>>>that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
>>>Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
>>>belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
>>Hell.
>>>
>>>With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
>>>souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
>>>change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
>>>for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
>>>Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>>>
>>>This gives two possibilities:
>>>
>>>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>>>enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
>>>until all Hell breaks loose.
>>>
>>>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>>Hell,
>>>then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>>>
>>>So which is it?
>>>
>>>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>>>that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take
>>into
>>>account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
>>>true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
>>>over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,
>>it
>>>follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
>>>extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
>>>being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"