Humorfic: The Slashers' Guide to Return of the King
Title: The Slashers' Guide to Return of the King
Author: lannamichaels
Pairings: All (in order of appearance, Smeagol/Deagol, Frodo/Sam, Merry/Pippin, Aragorn/Boromir, Eomer/Aragorn, Gollum/Frodo, Legolas/Aragorn, Elrond/Aragorn, Pippin/Merry/Boromir, Gandalf/Denethor, Witchking/Gandalf, Faramir/Boromir, Eowyn/Arwen, Gimli/Legolas, Denethor/Faramir, Witchking/Theoden, Aragorn/Sauron, Fellowship/Frodo, Glorfindel/Elrond, Elrond/Celeborn, Sam/Merry/Pippin)
Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Tolkien. A good portion of the lines belong to Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, and Philippa Boyens. Others were lifted from Monty Python, Star Wars, The Sixth Sense, and The Simpsons. The limerick is original. I make no money from this.
Statement made to save one's own ass: I've only seen ROTK three times, so I've undoubtedly missed things. Some of my notes were out of order and so some scenes might not be in exact chronological order.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Numerous cheap shots. Crude humor. References to bondage. References to character death. C'mon, people, this is humor.
Spoilers: Um. Yes.
Summery: All a slasher ever needed to know about Return of the King, but didn't want to.
A/N: Love to zillah975, lunasv, and ashinae who saw this in various stages of completeness and didn't tell me to scrap it.
( I think I need a hobbit orgy to cheer me up )