Apprehension?
I don't know.. I really don't feel like posting right now; But I don't really want to do anything else.
I want to know my future; not the past.. but lest I want and worry I get torn askew from my wishes and wants.
I sit here and wonder about a game; when has a game meant this much to me? I have games that I want to run ((Hunter; albeit I haven't been showing my true nature of it; sorry Jim and Joe.. I'm ready to settle down and get back to business, hopefully you guys are still into the whole project)). But, I feel oppressed, I have money; but no feelings of happiness; I don't want to bog anyone down; and it gets to be such a pain to control any forms of melodramatic illusion about the greatness that is myself. It's sheer Melancholy.
Even from my asparations; I am a failure. I need something solid and concrete; not just love, one can't just live on love. I need something more to my life, for currently it's just an illusion on a computer screen, or enraptured in the chance that is gambling, whether it be dice or cards. I have the flesh and blood that are mortal companions; lest I be able to spend more time then what is given apart from the mob would be travesty.
All too recently i have felt empty and void. But I don't know how to fill it; I don't think I can get back what I have lost over my entire time and now is not the time to be bogging people about. So I'm sorry;
Humbly I await my death sentence, for it shall run the night wind in upon the morrow.
Lest I burrow into anyones brains, I shall make haste away; lest I torture myself more then I already have; my emotions are blank as I prepare for the life that is servitude. I pray that my death be swift; for I wish not the pangs that it shall carry.
Enjoy the Night, and may feelings fade in the morn...
I want to know my future; not the past.. but lest I want and worry I get torn askew from my wishes and wants.
I sit here and wonder about a game; when has a game meant this much to me? I have games that I want to run ((Hunter; albeit I haven't been showing my true nature of it; sorry Jim and Joe.. I'm ready to settle down and get back to business, hopefully you guys are still into the whole project)). But, I feel oppressed, I have money; but no feelings of happiness; I don't want to bog anyone down; and it gets to be such a pain to control any forms of melodramatic illusion about the greatness that is myself. It's sheer Melancholy.
Even from my asparations; I am a failure. I need something solid and concrete; not just love, one can't just live on love. I need something more to my life, for currently it's just an illusion on a computer screen, or enraptured in the chance that is gambling, whether it be dice or cards. I have the flesh and blood that are mortal companions; lest I be able to spend more time then what is given apart from the mob would be travesty.
All too recently i have felt empty and void. But I don't know how to fill it; I don't think I can get back what I have lost over my entire time and now is not the time to be bogging people about. So I'm sorry;
Humbly I await my death sentence, for it shall run the night wind in upon the morrow.
Lest I burrow into anyones brains, I shall make haste away; lest I torture myself more then I already have; my emotions are blank as I prepare for the life that is servitude. I pray that my death be swift; for I wish not the pangs that it shall carry.
Enjoy the Night, and may feelings fade in the morn...