Zen From the Desk of Arty: Bullying
Four eyes. Adopted. Mutant. Freak. Cripple. Bitch. Teacher's pet. Know-it-all. E.T.
Broken glasses. Broken arm. Bloodied nose. Twisted ankle.
Destroyed projects. Books. Homework.
It was worse for me at home.
So many tears for a very long time.
Please believe me, I know it hurts.
They showed me the power of words. They showed me how someone would feel if they were called the same things.
They gave me empathy.
They taught me to be gentle and to never say a thing I didn't mean. They taught me to be careful of phrasing, because of how easy it is to hurt even when you're not trying. They taught me that every pain passes. They taught me how to forgive.
They made me better.
Empathy isn't inborn. It has to be learned. You have to look at someone else and feel your heart ache for them, even when you don't have a stake in their situation.
There are two lessons you can take from cruelty.
The first lesson is how to be cruel to others.
The second is how to be kind.
But you have to understand that being vicious in return doesn't make you stronger. It doesn't make you better than them. Nursing that hurt for years and letting it turn into something ugly and harsh only lets the cycle repeat itself. Again. And again. And again.
The better person has the strength to be a survivor instead of a victim. The strength to break out of the cycle, instead of reciprocating the cruelty - or worse, teaching them that regret for their prior cruelty will only be met with derision.
People who hurt you are mirroring the lessons of cruelty that they learned from the people around them.
Don't. Be. That. To. Someone.
You can't be better by being cruel.
There is no moral high ground for cutting remarks.
You are -never- the better person for hurting someone else.
Ever.
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each man's life a sorrow and a suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Broken glasses. Broken arm. Bloodied nose. Twisted ankle.
Destroyed projects. Books. Homework.
It was worse for me at home.
So many tears for a very long time.
Please believe me, I know it hurts.
They showed me the power of words. They showed me how someone would feel if they were called the same things.
They gave me empathy.
They taught me to be gentle and to never say a thing I didn't mean. They taught me to be careful of phrasing, because of how easy it is to hurt even when you're not trying. They taught me that every pain passes. They taught me how to forgive.
They made me better.
Empathy isn't inborn. It has to be learned. You have to look at someone else and feel your heart ache for them, even when you don't have a stake in their situation.
There are two lessons you can take from cruelty.
The first lesson is how to be cruel to others.
The second is how to be kind.
But you have to understand that being vicious in return doesn't make you stronger. It doesn't make you better than them. Nursing that hurt for years and letting it turn into something ugly and harsh only lets the cycle repeat itself. Again. And again. And again.
The better person has the strength to be a survivor instead of a victim. The strength to break out of the cycle, instead of reciprocating the cruelty - or worse, teaching them that regret for their prior cruelty will only be met with derision.
People who hurt you are mirroring the lessons of cruelty that they learned from the people around them.
Don't. Be. That. To. Someone.
You can't be better by being cruel.
There is no moral high ground for cutting remarks.
You are -never- the better person for hurting someone else.
Ever.
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each man's life a sorrow and a suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow