I'm really not that emo, at least not in person. I just sort of vent on this journal b/c I'm not a normal guy and I hate keeping emotions bottled up inside. If I had someone to talk to, which is what I'm use to, I would vent with them. I just don't have anyone anymore that wants to listen.
I know things could be worse. I think my "depression" has peaked though. When I wrote that the night before was rough. I think I'm going to start getting better now, one way or another.
A list? Hmm, let me try. 1: Going back to what I said, no one to talk to. I know that might seem minor, but being in a relationship for 4 years, I relied on her for support. Now I have to grow emotionally and get use to caring for myself more. 2: Ever since middle school my one goal was to be in love amd eventually start a family. I feel like I've failed big time on my one true aspiration in life. 3: Linked to that, other than love I didn't have any big goals or plans, so now I feel lost in life.
I know it's not a big list, but to make things worse, depression sort of runs in the family. My mom and dad have taken medication for it in the past. So while I've always sort of struggled with it, it's now kind of full on, for obvious reasons. And I hate the idea of medication. I know it's not the end of the world and all, and I just hope I can learn and grow from this time in my life.
I do appreciate the concern. As you can see from this long reply, I really don't talk to anyone about this stuff. I'll make it through ok, it's just going to take some time. Later
Yeah, I definitely dream about things. It's hard, and I really hope it doesn't go on for that long. Sorry you have to deal with that so much. Yeah, I'll definitely see you around labor day. Later
I know things could be worse. I think my "depression" has peaked though. When I wrote that the night before was rough. I think I'm going to start getting better now, one way or another.
A list? Hmm, let me try.
1: Going back to what I said, no one to talk to. I know that might seem minor, but being in a relationship for 4 years, I relied on her for support. Now I have to grow emotionally and get use to caring for myself more.
2: Ever since middle school my one goal was to be in love amd eventually start a family. I feel like I've failed big time on my one true aspiration in life.
3: Linked to that, other than love I didn't have any big goals or plans, so now I feel lost in life.
I know it's not a big list, but to make things worse, depression sort of runs in the family. My mom and dad have taken medication for it in the past. So while I've always sort of struggled with it, it's now kind of full on, for obvious reasons. And I hate the idea of medication.
I know it's not the end of the world and all, and I just hope I can learn and grow from this time in my life.
I do appreciate the concern. As you can see from this long reply, I really don't talk to anyone about this stuff. I'll make it through ok, it's just going to take some time.
Later
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See you next time you're in town.
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do you dream about things? i do about once or twice a week consecutively for the past year or so, i fucking hate it.
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Yeah, I'll definitely see you around labor day.
Later
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