(Untitled)

[sonofthestars]

[Sirius glances around his messy flat, but doesn't bother cleaning it. It isn't like he has to impress anyone, since it's only Moony and Prongs, and they've shared a messy living space with him for seven years. With a sigh he drops his bag in the middle of the floor and flops onto the couch to wait for his friends. ]

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[boyofthemoon]

[Remus apparates in much later. His scarf is half unwound round his neck and his hair is a little bit dishevelled. There is a leaf stuck to the button of his jacket. He grins at Sirius before plucking said leaf free and tucking it behind Sirius's ear] All right, Pads?

[sonofthestars]

[Sirius, unable to resist Remus on the best of days, finishes unwinding the scarf to drop it on the floor next to them. He kisses the pale white skin of Remus' neck when he does, sucking lightly, but not enough to leave a mark. His fingers are moving gently through Remus' hair, flattening it down, so that James can't accuse them of any funny business when he shows up. His words are muffled against Remus' soft skin.]

Missed you, Moonface.

[boyofthemoon]

[Remus just laughs and prods Sirius's side] Well obviously, that is after the right and proper reaction to my absense. I expect you to be quite overcome with longing when I leave. [he grins and unzips his jacket, moving to throw it over the arm a chair before coming back to Sirius to kiss him deeply in greeting] Hullo there.

[sonofthestars]

[When Remus moves away from him, Sirius looks mildly panicked, but then merely unsettled when he comes right back for a long kiss. Sirius kisses him warmly, but when he pulls back, that unsettled look is still on his face.]

I should probably work on some homework. [he turns to retreat to his previously-occupied place on the couch]

[boyofthemoon]

[Remus just blinks at him in confusion before shrugging and moving to the other chair. He sits down and curls his legs beneath him, watching Sirius for a bit] You all right?

[sonofthestars]

Mmmhmmm... never better [Sirius doesn't look at him when he speaks. He wandlessly summons his supplemental trigonometry text book, a trick he's done since he learned it in fifth year, but for the first time he mucks it up and nearly smashes the book into a small lamp due to his inattentiveness. He still manages to catch the book, but not before he sighs in frustration.]

[boyofthemoon]

Right. [Remus watches him almost fumble the spell with concern] If you're sure, d'you want me to leave you to it?

[sonofthestars]

Don't be daft, Moony. [sighs] Prongs is supposed to be coming 'round any time now. Were were all going to get together, remember? [A look of realization spread across his face, and was replaced by a small frown ] But if there's somewhere else you need to be, I can't stop you.

[boyofthemoon]

[Remus just nods slowly] All right, I just thought - [he shifts slightly in his seat and examines his hands]

[sonofthestars]

[] don't let me stop you if you have somewhere else to be. Obviously you don't want to be here, so why don't you just go find her and leave me be. [when he stops shouting his chest is heaving and his knuckles are white around the spine of his book. ]

[boyofthemoon]

[Remus just looks taken aback. He's used to Sirius being angry with people but never really him. Remus stands up quickly and stares at his boyfriend's back] What for the fucking love of Merlin are you talking about Sirius?

[sonofthestars]

I'm talking about you! [Sirius shouts back at him] I'm talking about you and Dora and whatever magical bullshit that happens when two straight [he spat the word angrily] people meet and suddenly know they're going to get married and live happily ever after with a house full of little terrors!

[boyofthemoon]

[Remus just takes a step back and looks like he's been slapped. His voice is barely above a whisper] Have you gone mad, Sirius? You're not making any bloody sense and I'd thank you to stop shouting at me, I haven't done anything wrong.

[sonofthestars]

[Sirius stopped shouting when he saw the look on Remus' face and his heart sank into his stomach. He had put that look on Remus' face. He had shouted at his Moony and upset him.]

I'm sorry, Moony [he buries his face in his hands, mumbling almost incoherantly] ... Snape, and now Dora, and I'm not allowed to use magic, and I can't catch the ball, and Lily vomitted on my shoes, and, and...

[boyofthemoon]

[Remus comes forward then to wrap his arms around Sirius's shoulders, pulling him in close. He makes soft shushing noises and smoothes out Sirius's hair, holding him still] Calm down, yeah? Breath and tell me what's happened.

[sonofthestars]

[With Remus' arms around him it is much easier to take deep, calming breaths. He keeps his ear pressed against Remus' chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat when Sirius finally explains between ragged breaths.]

I die, Moony. I die and then you marry Dora and have a little tyke. And I told myself it was just those Remuses that married her, but it's all Remuses. And now she's here and she's all grown up, and you'll have whatever that moment is with her, and then I-- I'll...

[His voice fades to nothing but short, raspy breathing. There are no tears to be seen, but he is shaking even within the circle of Remus' arms. ]