Wick's Picks
The NBA season has gotten underway, which is raaaaaaaaaaaaather amusing. On the other hand, it's probably not the best for my studies. Considering that I'm far busier this year than last, I must generally attempt to spend less time on the NBA . Nonetheless, one couldn't resist making some amusing predictions.
Central (a.k.a. “The Dank Division”)
1. Need I say ?
2. Furry Bulls!
3. Killer Kavs (though I do like LeBron)
4. Beastly Bucks
5. Pernicious Pacers
Atlantic (a.k.a. “The Nul Division”)
1. Naughty Nets
2. Sickening Sixers
3. Sickening Celtics
4. Rotten Raptors
5. Knasty Knicks
Southeast
1. Horrid Heat (sorry, D-Wade, but as long as S----y Shaq and Rotten Riley are around, I won’t be rooting for you)
2. Wicked Wizards
3. Malicious Magic
4. Beauteous Bobcats (I’ll be rooting for them due to the presence of Michael, though I’m guessing their record will be not-so-beauteous
5. Horrid Hawks (it’s hard to call them anything else, even if you’re a fan)
Pacific
1. Sexy Suns
2. Cataclysmic Clippers (so called because the fact that they’re doing well is a sure sign of the apocalypse)
3. Kourageous Kings
4. Lecherous Lakers (WHY did Phil Jackson come back to coach the LL? Ahh, to return to that blissful year when I could wholeheartedly root against the Lakers without any reservation whatsoever…)
5. Woeful Warriors
Southwest (a.k.a. “The West’s Dank Division”)
1. Spurious
2. Malevolent Mavs
3. Rotten Rockets
4. Hearty Hornets
5. Ghastly Grizzlies
Northwest (a.k.a. “The West’s Atlantic”)
1. Naughty Nuggets
2. Terrible T-wolves (I’d like to see KG succeed, actually)
3. Jazz [if anyone can think of a good negative adjective that starts with the “j” sound, tell me (“gelatinous” and “jealous” won’t cut it)]
4. Super SuperSonics (har har)
5. Pauvre Blazers
East
1. DEEEE-TROIT BAS-KET-BALL
2. Da Bulls
3. HH
4. Teh Nets
5. Cavs
6. Wiz
7. Magic
8. Das Bucks
West
1. Spurious
2. Suns
3. Mavs
4. Nuggets
5. Clips
6. Rockets
7. Kings
8. Hornets
First round:
Pistons over Bucks
Bulls over Magic
Heat over Wizards
Cavs over Nets
Conference Semifinals:
Pistons over Cavs
Bulls over Heat
Conference Finals:
Pistons over Heat
First round:
Spurious over Hornets
Suns over Kings
Mavs over Rockets
Clips over Nuggets
Conference semifinals:
Spurious over Clippaz
Suns over Mavs
Conference finals:
Spurious over Suns (sound familiar?)
FINALS:
Pistons over Spurs in seven
Central (a.k.a. “The Dank Division”)
1. Need I say ?
2. Furry Bulls!
3. Killer Kavs (though I do like LeBron)
4. Beastly Bucks
5. Pernicious Pacers
Atlantic (a.k.a. “The Nul Division”)
1. Naughty Nets
2. Sickening Sixers
3. Sickening Celtics
4. Rotten Raptors
5. Knasty Knicks
Southeast
1. Horrid Heat (sorry, D-Wade, but as long as S----y Shaq and Rotten Riley are around, I won’t be rooting for you)
2. Wicked Wizards
3. Malicious Magic
4. Beauteous Bobcats (I’ll be rooting for them due to the presence of Michael, though I’m guessing their record will be not-so-beauteous
5. Horrid Hawks (it’s hard to call them anything else, even if you’re a fan)
Pacific
1. Sexy Suns
2. Cataclysmic Clippers (so called because the fact that they’re doing well is a sure sign of the apocalypse)
3. Kourageous Kings
4. Lecherous Lakers (WHY did Phil Jackson come back to coach the LL? Ahh, to return to that blissful year when I could wholeheartedly root against the Lakers without any reservation whatsoever…)
5. Woeful Warriors
Southwest (a.k.a. “The West’s Dank Division”)
1. Spurious
2. Malevolent Mavs
3. Rotten Rockets
4. Hearty Hornets
5. Ghastly Grizzlies
Northwest (a.k.a. “The West’s Atlantic”)
1. Naughty Nuggets
2. Terrible T-wolves (I’d like to see KG succeed, actually)
3. Jazz [if anyone can think of a good negative adjective that starts with the “j” sound, tell me (“gelatinous” and “jealous” won’t cut it)]
4. Super SuperSonics (har har)
5. Pauvre Blazers
East
1. DEEEE-TROIT BAS-KET-BALL
2. Da Bulls
3. HH
4. Teh Nets
5. Cavs
6. Wiz
7. Magic
8. Das Bucks
West
1. Spurious
2. Suns
3. Mavs
4. Nuggets
5. Clips
6. Rockets
7. Kings
8. Hornets
First round:
Pistons over Bucks
Bulls over Magic
Heat over Wizards
Cavs over Nets
Conference Semifinals:
Pistons over Cavs
Bulls over Heat
Conference Finals:
Pistons over Heat
First round:
Spurious over Hornets
Suns over Kings
Mavs over Rockets
Clips over Nuggets
Conference semifinals:
Spurious over Clippaz
Suns over Mavs
Conference finals:
Spurious over Suns (sound familiar?)
FINALS:
Pistons over Spurs in seven