perm anon post~.
Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out. Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue ( Read more... )
This isn't recent. This is forever. This is way too long in the making.
I tell lies. Big ones, small ones, white ones, bad ones, I tell them all. They just come out of my mouth, and I'm unable to stop them. There's nothing that I can do about them, which makes me sick. But the worst thing is that I turn a blind eye to them. I'm ignoring my biggest fault, while knowing that I'm ignoring, while knowing that I'm choosing to ignore that I know that I'm ignoring-
I don't quite understand either.
I hate lying, but it's so useful. I make a resolution every year, each time I get-to stop lying. It never works. From small little fibs to huge deals that no one will ever find out (because even though I dislike it, I'm damn good at it). It's painful, to have to be like this. Because I think, that inside, I kind of know that I won't change, or I can't change. Pessimism is an awkward thing.
But I keep smiling, and I keep lying, and I can swear that the only thing that enables me to say this on the nets is because I'm anoning and this post is old and hopefully dead.
Well. I can't say I feel any better, but that's okay.
I wonder... will you ever find out who this is? I also would not be surprised at all if you were to make this into some kind of weird fic.
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And maybe telling little white lies won't really matter in the end, but if you are making big lies or bad lies, I'd be worried. Not just for the people around you, but yourself. Granted, I know it'd be awfully difficult to change a behavior you've stuck to your whole life, but if you really commit to a resolution - maybe say, this month, I'm going to keep myself from telling one big lie. Maybe two. Start with a small goal and work your way up, anon. It's possible. whoa did I actually just give advice there whoa ignore me
I have my suspicions, anon, but if you are who I think you are ... I'm sorry I never knew of this before. But either way please please feel free to mention this topic to me; my inbox is always open. I probably won't be able to help you much but I'll always be here for you &hearts
ps. i've always wanted to write a fic about this are you me, anon?
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