Just stepping out.

[sonofhealfdane]

Apologies for last post, which was somewhat out of character. This is a coffee break of sorts, and I don't have anything useful to say.

Except one thing. It's time for the sonofhealfdane Rap Battle of 2005. Comment on this post with your smooth rhymin' skills. Use them to insult me or the previous commenter, in fun of course.

Spin it...

Comments

You Are All On Crack

[anonymous]

MC Escher here, with a friendly referendum
I love all your rappin' comments about your pudendum
All your freestylin' hits me with its boistrousness and turpitude
(Like the hickey-queen phlobotomist who Mark's fine blood is slurpin' rude)
There's something so punked out about a rhymin' Nosferatu
This girl sounds dangerous - I say you need to tell her KLATU

Hrothgar, baby, sonny, little buddy, look out for yourself
A chick who'll drink your haemo out should stay out on the shelf
Don't get me wrong - I like undead as much as any man
(a little bony, sometimes smelly, very rarely tan
but good when some thrice-pierced navel you really want to ponder
& the kind to bring you absinthe, to make their black heart grow fonder)
Perhaps I overstep myself - but where is the stability
Of someone protesting the anti-pope's infallability
This is no life to go chasing black-cassock'd Marta Luther
Unless, of course, she'll bring a friend; well worth, the gothick twofer
But in a Wife of Satan, baby, please detect the danger
Draw a ward upon your condom 'fore you wrap your little ranger
Holy-water-based lubes will do wonders on a succubus
(& I know this guy who can get blue pills of the Sin of Lust)
Ah! go ahead, joust your Black Prince against her Sleepy Hollow
But stay clear The Bowels of Hell - unless she's into sorrow

Try to keep a crack'd window, to waft away the heat
For in a fit of lovemaking, you'll not want to retreat
And all your exercise can really raise the thermostat
And sublimating mascara can melt your Hanging Bat

Keep your Dragon in his Cave, her Princess in its Tower
Abstinence is the only way to skip on Crab-man's power
Lord Crab-man, he's a dusty prick, who'll dust your prick in twain
So duel Milord with a latex sword, and fuck yourself insane

Go forth! and find a harpy worth a lusty little fling
Just don't propose if she's already wearing the One Ring
So if you find a well-formed witch who'll give you up some booty
I want details but promptly, bitch, for a G07H CHIXX' a hootie

Re: You Are All On Crack

[sonofhealfdane]

My God Kurtz, I won't try to equal that.

This concludes the prose section of MY rap.

Re: You Are All On Crack

[tubgirl4life]

alright kurtz you win

and so forth, on this day it was decided, that kurtz shall win. Always being the mighty eternal Jew, although rolly polly and lacking of a steriotype, shall live to conquor this any many other rap battle boards forever and ever, amen.

Re(3): You Are All On Crack

[anonymous]

Many thanks.

I actually just found out I was african-american, so I blame that. Yes, it's true. My great grandfather, the Jewish socialist merchantalist, was from South Africa.

So piece out a ping pong tiddly of the most blazzting down the drain in the spare tire nuclear sub, me nigzz.
-dK