What a waste
Still can't decide if I'm pissed to all hell at him or the world, both.
On the one hand- what a selfish bastard to put that kind of blame (intentional or not) on his family, friends ex and everyone whom he knew. What must his Mom have said after she found him, does the father even exist? Why'd he start leaving school to break into houses last year and why'd he start doing drugs and every now and then have bursts off jackassity?
Other hand you can't help feeling the deepest sympathy. What kind of a fucked up world is this? Why did he take anti-depressants and more importantly why didn't I talk to him when I learned of it, Lord knows I wanted to. Yeah I wanted to be a super-hero and be that guy that everyone whose depressed talks to, I wanted to be there but I never followed through. What drove him to this end. Did he think this last cry for attention would accomplish something. It's just the storm before the calm, he will no longer be remembered as that guy with the charismatic smile or quick joke or athletic ability. He's that guy that will fade, the one we'll have trouble talking about. So whose to blame- the society that harvested a member like this or him who returns to dust to feed the next crop?
I've decided it's the world that I'm pissed at- everything I find out about people I wish I could forget. Maybe not all people- but that's what I'm most pissed off about is that I didn't get to know the right people in high school. I want to not make that mistake here.
Love, Seth
Song- "Prime Time Deliverance" by Matthew Good Band, listen and you'll know why
Verse- "But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction" -Job 36:15
On the one hand- what a selfish bastard to put that kind of blame (intentional or not) on his family, friends ex and everyone whom he knew. What must his Mom have said after she found him, does the father even exist? Why'd he start leaving school to break into houses last year and why'd he start doing drugs and every now and then have bursts off jackassity?
Other hand you can't help feeling the deepest sympathy. What kind of a fucked up world is this? Why did he take anti-depressants and more importantly why didn't I talk to him when I learned of it, Lord knows I wanted to. Yeah I wanted to be a super-hero and be that guy that everyone whose depressed talks to, I wanted to be there but I never followed through. What drove him to this end. Did he think this last cry for attention would accomplish something. It's just the storm before the calm, he will no longer be remembered as that guy with the charismatic smile or quick joke or athletic ability. He's that guy that will fade, the one we'll have trouble talking about. So whose to blame- the society that harvested a member like this or him who returns to dust to feed the next crop?
I've decided it's the world that I'm pissed at- everything I find out about people I wish I could forget. Maybe not all people- but that's what I'm most pissed off about is that I didn't get to know the right people in high school. I want to not make that mistake here.
Love, Seth
Song- "Prime Time Deliverance" by Matthew Good Band, listen and you'll know why
Verse- "But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction" -Job 36:15