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Turns out this picspam thing is becoming a weekly thing! We’ll see if it lasts! They’re just so much fun (but time consuming, let me tell ya!) to do!!
Good episode this week, not as awesome as last week: but still a fun ride, as usual! At first I was a little concerned with Robin being out of character, with regards to her attitude towards the strip club, but I’ve been thinking about it and I think it’s just a combination of jealousy, the newness of her relationship with Barney and just the overall unsureness she has about his fidelity, I suppose. Like she isn’t willing to throw herself into the relationship if she thinks she’s so easily replaced by strippers.
Anywho.. enough of my embarrassing analyses. :D On with the picspam!
Future Ted: I was on a blind date with the same woman I went on a blind date with 7 years earlier.
Jen: Ted?
Ted: Jen?
Jen: It’s nice to meet you.
Future Ted: And she didn’t remember it. But then again...
Ted: It’s nice to meet you, too.
Future Ted: ...Neither did I.
Robin: Isn’t it a little early in our relationship to do something that would end our relationship?
Marshall: Hey, do you think they’ll have Wookie to English dictionaries there? I mean, even an everyday phrasebook would be helpful.
Barney: We’re not going to the Origins of Chewbacca exhibit, Marshall. It’s in Huston this year, everyone knows that.
***
Ted: Wait a second. The Origins of Chewbacca exhibit is in Montreal this year, everyone knows that! Where are you taking me?
Barney: My guy in the DA’s office scored us front row seats to a lethal injection! But, we’re still stopping for chilli dogs first.
Ted: Stop the cab!
Barney: I’ve learned a lot about relationships by watching you and Lily.
Marshall: Thanks, man!
Barney: You’re a terrible couple! Lily has taken all the man out of you. I used to think that was just every relationship, but what I’ve got with Robin proves that you can have a girlfriend and fully functioning male genitalia all at the same time.
Marshall: Okay, so if Robin knew you were here, she’d be fine with it?
Barney: Are you kidding me? She’d sprint down here with a purse full of singles and a poncho for the 10:30 jello show! BT-dub, I called ahead- it’s lime!
Ted: I teach architecture. I get 50% off at the bookstore, so that’s pretty sweet.
Barney: I once fantasised about that silhouette chick you see on a truck’s mud flaps. It took me less than a mile.
Marshall: First, I need to have a different fantasy...
...
Lily: *hiccups*
Doctor: Bad news. Lily has a rare and fatal hiccup disorder that’s apparently medically legitimate.
Marshall: What? How can this be?!
Doctor: Beats me, but it says it right here on this doctor’s clipboard that doctor’s have.
Lily: *hiccups*
Marshall: *sobs*
...
Lily: It’s time, baby.
Marshall: I will never love again!
Lily: Oh, Marshall, you must! And after an appropriate number of years, you should find someone else. Someone like that busty delivery girl from that one time. And plough her like a cornfield. *hiccups and dies*
...
Priest: And so, Marshall, in honour of Lily, you must find that busty delivery girl from that one time and plough her like a corn field.
Marshall: Barney, is it just me, or does that stripper look exactly like-
Barney: Ted we found a stripper who looks exactly like Lily!!!
Ted: Uh, yeah, I can’t talk right now.
Barney: I’m speechless, too! Everything’s as perky as we’ve always imagined!!
Marshall: Stop looking at her!
Ted: Uh, look, I gotta go. Take a picture!
Barney: Oh, I will. But first I’m gonna make Marshall watch as I wedge Ulysses S. Grant between his wife’s ta-tas!
Marshall: I’LL KILL YOU!!
Ted: You wanna share the oysters?
Jen: I would love to share the oysters.
Ted: Good. Cause if you didn’t, that would be mighty shellfish!
Jen: Wow, that’s bad.
Ted: That’s why it’s funny!
Barney: You will not believe who we saw tonight! We saw the third doppelganger!
Robin: *gasp*
Future Ted: I should explain. Over the years, we had spotted two strangers who looked exactly like members of our group.
...
Barney: Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Future Ted: Lesbian Robin.
...
Future Ted: And Moustache Marshall.
...
Barney: Ladies, meet Stripper Lily! Yeah, I couldn’t get her face... she looks just like ya!
Lily: So, you went to a strip club?
Barney: He he he. Busted!
Lily: And you saw a stripper who looks exactly like me?
Marshall: Babe, look, before you get mad, let me-
Lily: AWESOME! I bet the guys were going crazy! Ooh, I bet they wanted to touch her so bad, but all you can do is look! Unless you go into the back room, but honey, you have to pay for that!
Robin: So... strip club?
Barney: Marshall made me go!
Lily: Was there a shower onstage? Sometimes there’s a shower onstage. I bet Stripper Me would get in there with another girl and just go bananas!
Barney: See, Marshall? We got to have a bro’s night out at a strip club and both our ladies are totally cool with it!
Robin: I’m not cool with it.
Barney: Because they understand that it’s healthy for us to do that from time to time.
Robin: It’s disgusting.
Barney: Because it’s harmless.
Robin: Did one of your whores tell you that?
...
Barney: We’re all friends here!
Robin: No, we’re not.
Marshall: I have to imagine you passing away first. Because even in a fantasy world, I could never cheat on you,,, you’re just my life, baby, and I love you.
Lily: You kill me off?! I mean, fantasize about other girls all you want, but could you maybe not murder me!
Marshall: Murder?! Baby, no! You develop a chronic illness! I spare no expense for your care, I even set up a foundation in your name, we’re like this close to a cure!
Ted: Don’t be surprised if they suddenly can’t think of anything I do wrong.
Robin: Did he juggle? Bad puns? Expect a standing ovation for picking up a $19 cheque?
Lily: Oh, let’s not forget the menu typo gold mine. Panning that river, buddy.
Marshall: Well, it is a lot cheaper than buying a condom.
All: Ohhh!!!!
...
Jen: I remember him coming across as kind of a player.
All: Ted?!
Ted: Me?!
Ted: Letting a guy eat pizza off your back: that’s love.
Marshall: I’m all confused about death and sex. It’s gotten to the point where every time I drive past a cemetery, I’m sporting a partial.
Lily: When Stripper Lily gets out here, you have my permission to fantasize about her. And since she’s basically me, maybe you won’t feel guilty.
Marshall: Thanks, baby. I’m so lucky to have you. And Stripper you.
Lily: BRING OUT STRIPPER LILY!
***
Barney: You know, I don’t come here that much,
Waitress: Hey Barney! Here’s your usual! And I’ll send out the other usual as soon as she’s done stretching.
Barney: ...Thank you kindly stranger.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen- oh, hey, Barney, I didn’t see you come in. I’ll put on some AC/DC for you, buddy!
***
Lily: I AM HOT! Oh ho, crawl for it, Stripper me! This is awesome!! Baby, can I get another hundred?
Marshall: That was a hundred?
If a couple of things had gone differently, who knows what would have happened?
Barney: You’re the best. You are the best. My girlfriend is at a strip club with me, and she couldn’t care less!
Robin: I do care, Barney! Look, we’re dating now, that changes things! We need to have a serious talk about this!
Barney: Just the best!
Marshall: Hey. Girlfriend trouble? I wish I could help, but my unbelievable cool wife has just bought us a private dance with her stripper body double, so if you need me, I’ll be getting grinded like some pepper in the Champagne Room.
Barney: Just the best!
***
Marshall: Looks like Jasmine’s having a hard time getting out of those boots.
Stripper Lily: What did you say, buddy?
Marshall: Lily?
Stripper Lily: Who? Oh, yes, I am this lily. We married long time. May I have monies for shopping?
*Lily screams and falls*
Marshall: Lily!